Time and Rhythm in Couples

In this article, a theory is offered on the role of time in couple functioning and distress. The theory argues that no single set of temporal patterns is associated with couple distress or satisfaction. Rather, it advocates attention to the individual differences between couples in their understanding of the meaning of the temporal patterns in their relationship. The couple's narrative about the evolution and maintenance of these temporal patterns can be understood as revealing much about partners' experiences of the relationship in terms of the concepts of closeness and power. Interventions on the temporal dimension may be useful when the couple presents with an explicit problem in temporal patterns; when a particular temporal pattern prevents the couple from addressing other issues; and when the therapist wishes to reframe a problem in a manner that lowers conflict intensity. Along with the theory, a preliminary taxonomy of time problems in couples is presented as a guide to assessment. This is followed by clinical vignettes to illustrate how the theory can be used in couple therapy.