Parenting as relationship: a framework for assessment and practice

Parenting tends to be framed as a set of actions directed toward the child rather than as a relationship. This article helps therapists, parent-educators, and researchers conceptualize parenting as a socioculturally embedded relationship. The authors apply the relational orientations typology (Silverstein, Bass, Tuttle, Knudson-Martin, & Huenergardt, 2006) to parent-child relationships. The typology addresses two dimensions: whether the focus is on the child's meeting parental expectations or on expectations of mutuality and whether power between parent and child is expected to be symmetrical or asymmetrical. Four relational orientations are described: (1) rule directed, (2) position directed, (3) independence directed, and (4) relationship directed. These relational orientations describe the nature of the reciprocal relationship between parent and child and offer a framework from which to address parenting issues. A case illustration shows how the relational orientations framework helps therapists incorporate a larger systems/relational perspective into what was originally framed primarily as a child behavior problem.