Emotional play and resonating to the shape of the valued self with fellow-feeling: Therapeutic conversations in Brief Dynamic Therapy

Drawing from the work of Meares and Hobson the author outlines a conceptual framework that places the valued self and the sanctuary within which it is located at the centre of human development and of the therapeutic process. The experience of being valued is seen to be the basis upon which a capacity for intimacy develops. In contrast, failures of empathic resonance to the shape and texture of the valued self by significant others are seen to result in the development of an unconscious trauma system and a diminished sense of self. A consequence of this is the development of an expectational field which shapes the interpersonal patterns and experiences of the individual. A feature of this expectation field is the development of an Alien self which can manifest in the phenomenon of role reversals in the therapeutic relationship. The function of maintaining a sense of fellow-feeling in the therapeutic relationship is highlighted. Comparisons are made between the concept of an Alien self and Woodmansey’s conceptualisation of the punitive or humiliating super-ego and its distinction from the ego-ideal which in contrast contributes positively to the development of intimacy. These themes are illustrated by a case example.