The Origins and Resolution of Marital Discord from a Control Mastery Perspective

SUMMARY

This article focuses on individuals who grow up in proximity to suffering and/or possessive parents or siblings. It is not uncommon for such individuals to develop pathogenic beliefs that mitigate against them enjoying their lives, relationships, etc., while others are perceived as suffering or in need. Unconscious beliefs associated with survivor and separation guilt occasion maladaptive behaviors, i.e., undoing, spoiling, that prevent people who might otherwise yearn for success in the domain of work and love from achieving this. Often couples experiencing strife are unknowingly acting out such beliefs so as to maintain loyalty and allegiance with the discontented and/or needy parent or sibling. The task of therapy is to make these beliefs conscious so that they can be resisted and overcome.