Weinen, ein Bindungsverhalten

Crying is an age-independent behavior of attachment of the (at that moment) weaker part, who cannot cope with a special experience alone. To cry because of anxiety, anger and mourning expresses helplessness and at the same time is an appeal to others to give help and comfort. Crying creates the chance to show relatedness. The considerate other person perceives himself at that moment to be the stronger one when he sees and hears the crying and usually feels the need to comfort and care. The crying of a newborn baby expresses fear to be abandoned, not to be protected and looked after which means to have to die. With growing experience about the reactions to crying the infant quickly learns which behavior is apt to bring the protecting attachment person closer to him. Crying is synchronized with the expectations of others even at the end of the first year of life, especially with those of the attachment person. Whether a child or an adult cries in a manner appropriate to the situation, or surprisingly does not cry or cries in an exaggerated dramatic manner, very much depends on the experiences made in attachment relationships with crying. In the same way, how effective the comfort can be and whether the other wants to care at all, depends on the experiences of both persons concerning crying and comforting in preceding relationships. If those experiences were reassuring then as adults they can also cry or care and comfort, but if crying even aggravates painful experiences then the adult will have difficulties to desire and to accept comfort from others or offer comfort to others himself.