The conflict cycle in families and therapy

Conflict is not an aberration but rather part of the structure of human relationships. It is defined in this paper as consisting of four stages. Once the first stage (the dispute) is triggered, there is a high likelihood that the second (blaming) will occur, and the third (shame, guilt, or denial), and then the fourth (reparation, reconciliation, or retaliation). Three case presentations illustrate the conflict cycle in various clinical and nonclinical situations. The family therapist should be readily able to identify the cycle in clinical situations, and knowledge of it should prove fruitful in identifying pathogenic relating and in planning interventions and their timing.