Honoring Protective Responses: Reframing Resistance in Therapy Using Polyvagal Theory

Therapists often conceptualize resistance as client behaviors that impede progress; this perspective threatens the therapeutic alliance, especially in couple and family therapy where increased resistance and multiple alliances are present. Polyvagal theory reframes and normalizes resistant behaviors as preconscious, protective responses emerging from our autonomic nervous system. The theory also explains how humans reciprocate safety cues to connect with each other; therapists can use concepts of polyvagal theory to manage their own emotional regulation and foster safety and connection in therapy. Polyvagal concepts deepen our understanding of protective behaviors presenting in couple and family therapy; therapists can help couple and family clients to recognize protective behaviors in their own relationships and facilitate safer connection and engagement. Clinical implications are presented: psychoeducation can help clients normalize and understand their protective processes; therapist presence and immediacy acknowledges and normalizes protective behaviors as they arise; therapist and client self-regulation skills support connection; therapist genuineness is a precondition to client safety; and understanding of polyvagal theory enhances assessment of conflict and enactments in couple and family therapy.