Lesbian Couples and Their Parents: The Effects of Perceived Parental Attitudes on the Couple

Twenty respondents, each of whom was in a committed couple relationship, were asked how their parents' attitudes toward (a) their partner and (b) their lesbianism impacted on their relationships with their partners. The study revealed that the adverse consequences of parental disapproval are overshadowed by the benefits to the couple that are derived from the decision to affirm one's lesbian identity and to acknowledge the nature of the couple relationship by “coming out” to parents. The negative impact of secrecy on the couple, the downplaying of parental disapproval, the positive effects on the couple of an affirmed lesbian identity, and the importance of acknowledgment of the lesbian couple are discussed. The author maintains that the counselor working with lesbian couples must be lesbian affirmative, and she suggests eight specific, clinical implications for working with lesbian couples.