Doing and Undoing Gender in Commuter Marriages

Much recent literature has focused on how women and men “do” (and potentially “undo”) gender when juggling home and work responsibilities. Commuter marriages—in which dual-income professionals live apart due to the demands of their jobs—present a strategic context in which to investigate these gendered processes. Drawing upon theoretical work on doing and undoing gender, prior literature about gender dynamics at the nexus of home and work, and data from in-depth interviews with 97 other-sex commuter spouses, this analysis finds that in some ways these nontraditional arrangements are unique sites for undoing gender; yet, in other respects, standard gender roles are crystallized within these relationships. Specifically, for some women, these arrangements provide a respite from domestic demands, enabling them to function as hyper-productive, “masculinized” workers. However, commuter spouses also perform gender in ways that replicate the conventional gender structure. For example, living apart crystallizes many women’s roles as caregivers. These findings have implications for broader literature on gender, family, and work. They also have implications for counselors, institutional practices, and social policy; for instance, they caution against equating female autonomy with gender parity in making family policy.