非亲密关系中的礼物赠予：礼物偏好的不一致

礼物赠予是由于不同的事件和动机，在不同的关系背景中赠予者和接收者的物质和非物质产品交换的过程，具有重要的个人和社会意义。但是诸多研究表明，非亲密关系（非恋爱关系和夫妻关系）的赠予者和接收者在礼物类型偏好、礼物价值偏好及双方关系结果的知觉等方面均存在不一致性。可以从赠予者-接收者的认知差异、动机差异及社会规范的约束差异来解释这一现象，并提出了可供借鉴的礼物赠予策略。未来研究还可以从礼物成败的线索反馈、礼物选择的决策过程、采取更符合现实的研究方法及认知神经科学技术等方面对礼物偏好现象进行深入探究。

Gift giving in non-intimate relationships: Asymmetry of gift preferences

Gift giving is an exchange of material and non-material products between the giver and the recipient due to different events and motivations, in different relationship backgrounds. Gift giving plays an important role in maintaining interpersonal relationships. However, studies have shown that there were giver-receiver asymmetries in gift preferences. Recipients prefer gifts which are desirable, practical and can induce positive emotions. But givers do not give these gifts as often as recipients would like. They prefer to give gifts of high quality, as well as gifts that are likely to act as a reminder of the giver-receiver relationship. Givers prefer to give economically valuable gifts and socially valuable gifts, but the recipients pay more attention to the thoughtfulness of givers and practical value of the gift. The asymmetries of gift preferences lead to inconsistency of the perception of relationship outcomes. The asymmetries between givers and recipients can be explained in three ways. Firstly, the differences in cognition between self and others that result in expectation incorrectly of the recipient's preference. Secondly, it is due to the differences of self-others motivations. In addition to pleasing the recipient, the giver also wants to signal the relationship with recipient through gifts, but they cannot predict it accurately. The smile-seeking account also suggests that the main motivation of the givers is to make the recipient happy, and when the conflict arises between response seeking and satisfaction seeking, they want to choose the gift which can induce the recipient's positive emotional response immediately. While the recipient seeks the balance between the response and satisfaction. Thirdly, another possible explanation is that the social norms of gift giving impose different constraints on both parties. The influence of social norms to givers is in the choice of gifts and the ceremony of gift giving, while the influence to recipients is in their reaction after receiving gifts.Based on the differences in cognitive, motivational and social normative constraints between the two sides, the gift giving strategies are put forward. Givers should focus on the recipient’s needs and preferences. They should give priority to the recipient's actual needs or gifts that can bring long-term value, such as functional and practical items. However, there are some recipients who are well-off and have no needs. In this case, if the givers understand the characteristics and interests of the recipient, they can give gifts that accurately reflect the characteristics and interests of the recipient or experience gifts. In addition, givers can also give gifts to express their thoughtfulness. When givers are not familiar with the recipient, it is safer to give gifts which can reflect the characteristics and interests of themselves. When givers are not sure whether the recipient likes the gift or not, the giver can buy the same gift for himself, and express to the recipient that it is shared, which can also make the recipient to like the gift more. Future research needs to study the gift preferences in a more realistic context, and the decision making process of gift selection. We also should adopt a more realistic research paradigm and cognitive neuroscience technique to explore the mechanism of gift giving.