Critical incidents: Life events for experienced family therapists

Summary The results of this investigation suggest that therapists' professional style and clinical use of self patterns are impacted by critical life events occurring in their personal life. Many subjects reflected on how changes in their family constellations (both family of origin and family of procreation) were important to their professional development. They frequently mentioned that marriage, children, divorce, and illness or death of a loved one impacted their personal and, then, their professional lives. The important life events of becoming a parent or losing a significant loved one was specifically mentioned as strongly influencing changes in one's professional direction and therapeutic style.Becoming a parent caused the interviewees to reevaluate their expectations of their own parents, their client families and themselves. Changes in career aspirations, interactional patterns, and the capacity to be consistent and calm were explored and understood differently. Many subjects described how this transition in their own life shifted their primary focus and altered many of their existing relationships. In particular, female therapists with younger children related how their sense of being female changed. They sought out other women for intimate contact more frequently, they understood their own mothers better, and they frequently were less judgmental of mothers in their client families.Along with creating their own families, death of a parent was keynoted as having a strong impact on the subjects' personal and professional lives. They described questioning (and frequently changing) the amount of time they spent working and the type of work they did. Many began to push for more emotionally intense relationships personally and therapeutically. Detailing how their therapeutic goals for a family now included connection-making rather than just problem solving, they described being much more willing to share their vulnerabilities and personal needs with clients.