Self-compassion promotes positive adjustment for people who attribute responsibility of a romantic breakup to themselves

Attributing responsibility for a romantic breakup to the self can have dual effects on psychological adjustment, exacerbating disruptive thoughts and feelings, yet also increasing the likelihood of positive changes. Three studies (N = 441) examined whether these dual effects associated with attributing responsibility for a romantic breakup to the self are moderated by self-compassion. Supporting this assertion, trait self-compassion predicted better romantic outlook (Studies 1 & 2), and induced self-compassion predicted greater intended future romantic partner appreciation (Study 3), among people who attributed greater responsibility of a breakup to themselves. In addition, higher trait (Study 2) and induced self-compassion (Study 3) boosted self-improvement motivation with regard to future relationships among participants who attributed responsibility of a romantic breakup to themselves. These adjustment-promoting tendencies associated with self-compassion held controlling for a range of variables known to impact romantic breakup adjustment (e.g., self-esteem, attachment styles, and prior relationship characteristics). We discuss possible mechanisms for these effects and broader implications for future self-compassion research.