The unforgivable humiliation: A Dilemma in couples' treatment

Therapists sometimes encounter cases of intense marital discord in which the disaffected spouse seems unable to specify the reason for his or her discontent except in the vaguest, most general terms. Such cases may be extraordinarily difficult to treat, as the disaffected partner may seem impervious to any attempt at negotiation, to the point of dissolution of the marriage. The reason for the disaffected spouse's intransigence may seem unclear to the other spouse, to the therapist, and even to herself/himself. We hypothesize an explanation for this phenomenon in terms of the disaffected partner's experience of having suffered humiliation at the hands of the other spouse and offer a plan for treatment, citing case materials.