Demand and withdraw behaviors in couples with a history of infidelity

Although relationship distress and dissolution are common consequences of sexual involvement outside a committed relationship, there is little empirical information regarding communication behaviors of couples who have experienced extradyadic involvement (EDI). This study examined male and female demand and withdraw behaviors in videotaped conflict discussions among 170 married or seriously dating couples categorized into 3 groups: those without a history of sexual EDI, those with a history of sexual EDI that was known to the other partner, and those with a history of "unknown" (undisclosed or undiscovered) sexual EDI. Both men and women in a relationship where there was at least one unknown EDI demonstrated the highest levels of demand behaviors. Furthermore, demand behaviors were higher for participating partners (those engaging in an outside sexual relationship) in relationships with an unknown EDI compared with participating partners in relationships with a known EDI. Conversely, demand behaviors were higher among nonparticipating partners in relationships with known EDI, compared to with nonparticipating partners in relationships with unknown EDI. Withdraw behaviors demonstrated a less pronounced and less consistent pattern of elevation by EDI group, and role within EDI, compared with demand behaviors. Clinical and relational implications for these findings are discussed.