Perceiving regulation from intimate partners: Reflected appraisal and self‐regulation processes in close relationships

Cross‐sectional (N = 202) and longitudinal analyses over a 6‐month period (N = 155) assessed the consequences of perceiving regulation attempts from romantic partners. Greater perceived regulation from the partner was associated with more negative inferences regarding how closely individuals matched their partner's ideal standards in the targeted domain (inferred ideal consistency). Lower inferred ideal consistency, in turn, was associated with poorer relationship evaluations and predicted more negative perceptions of targeted self‐attributes. Individuals also directly responded to their partner's regulation efforts with attempts to change targeted features. Finally, perceiving more negative regulation strategies produced lower inferred ideal consistency, relationship evaluations, and self‐regulation efforts, whereas perceiving more positive strategies predicted greater inferred ideal consistency across time. The operation of reflected appraisal and self‐regulation processes within romantic relationships is discussed.