Helping Mom Fail: A Case of a Stalemated Divorcing Process

This article describes a systems approach to the problem of a child who had become symptomatic as a result of her parents' separation. Elements of the divorcing process that can create a symptomatic child are highlighted. Family members cope with separation and divorce by devising strategies for navigating the divorcing process. These strategies can mesh to create dysfunctional sequences in which family members get “stuck.” Case material illustrates the development of a stalemated divorcing process, in which a dysfunctional sequence keeps the child uncontrollable and mother incompetent. Family therapy breaks the stalemate and allows family members to proceed with appropriate developmental tasks.