Getting engaged: A case study and a model of the engagement period as a process of conflict-resolution

This paper addresses the problem of why so many marriages end in divorce. It develops a preventative approach to marital breakdown by proposing pre-marital counselling as a resource to be made widely available to couples. The key psychological issues which a counsellor could use as the backbone of any such counselling or therapeutic work are outlined. It is suggested that these issues are part of the psychological ‘working-through’ period during an engagement, when the couple are preparing for marriage. The psychological difficulties that an individual may be struggling with are illustrated via an account of psychodynamic psychotherapy with a young woman during the year of her engagement.