Romantic Bonds,Binds, and Ruptures: Couples on the Brink

“Bill and Jane,” a couple I saw many years ago, are placeholders for all the anguished, angry, exhausting, and poignant partners who have made their mark on my work as a clinician and theorist. They inspired and defeated me in equal measure, and they ground this essay, which attempts to bring together many of the theories I have fallen in love with over the years. Psychoanalysis, feminist theory, and systems theory, of course, but also developmental and attachment theory, Fonagy’s work on mentalization, the strategic family therapies, and containing all of these, the relational turn. I have tried to capture the intellectual synergy of putting all these discourses to work, and to work on each other, all of which is necessary when treating couples on the brink.