Commitment First,Communication Later: Dealing with Barriers to Effective Couples Therapy

Teaching communication techniques to couples is a common way for therapists to begin treatment. In many cases, couples then use these newly acquired skills to express negative or even hostile information to each other, sometimes doing more harm than good to the relationship. Based upon years of clinical experience with hundreds of couples in treatment, this article presents the idea that having the couple see themselves as an entity first, not as two individuals, may be necessary before clear communication can be maximally therapeutic. The article outlines the Couple Power model of treatment, suggesting that four basic tasks—commitment, cooperation, communication and community—need to be accomplished in that order, postponing the teaching of communication skills until later in therapy. Theory behind the tasks and suggestions for effective techniques to achieve the “Four C’s” of Couple Power are presented and discussed.