Need,Paradox, and Surrender: Commentary on Paper by Adam Phillips

Despite its centrality in the lives of many people, psychoanalysis, with its traditional emphasis on psychosexuality and rationalism, has generally undervalued the importance of love and romance. This essay explores this devaluation within psychoanalytic theorizing and the parallel widespread degradation of love in everyday life. Whereas common wisdom claims that familiarity extinguishes love, I argue that the illusory security that familiarity often masks is endangered by genuine love, with all its accompanying risks.