Mourning the person one could have become: The existential transition for the psychotherapy clients experienced by abuse or neglect

Mourning the “Person One Could Have Become” (POCHB) is an existential transition for traumatized individuals. In order to survive, they tend to mystify their existence, hoping that one day they will eventually turn into POCHB. POCHB is conceptualized as personality and physical characteristics that could have emerged if an individual at the right time had received an appropriate quantity and quality of nurturing and developmental stimuli, which consequently would have enabled the person to make more mature choices. The process of mourning the POCHB is part of the group therapy. The role of the therapist in facilitating such mourning is discussed. Possible obstacles to the process of mourning are depicted. Theoretical assumptions are illustrated with cases of two clients.