Effective Parenting as the Integration of Lessons and Dialogue

Our discussion of parenting is based on the premise that ecosystem contingencies and rules sometimes govern the child's social development in contradictory ways. While contingencies inform the child about self control tactics, rules outline principles of communal control operating beyond the child's direct influence. Parents guide their children through lessons which demonstrate contingency control and through dialogue promoting the children's awareness about the limited nature of this control. When parents integrate lessons and dialogue, they optimize their children's chances of self regulation while also helping the children to sustain synchronous community interactions.