Offering more support than we seek

Two studies provide evidence that, in friendships, people offer support to partners more often than they request identical support for themselves. In one study, people reported being more likely to offer different types of support (e.g., a ride to a train station) than to request identical support. This effect was more pronounced for casual than established friendships. In a second study, people assigned randomly to be in a position to give support or to seek identical support from a friend gave more support than they sought. The observed asymmetry is attributed to people balancing desires to establish and strengthen communal relationships against desires to protect the self from rejection, not to people being inherently more unselfish than selfish.