Graduate student marriages: an organizational/interactional view

This article describes an organizational/interactional model for understanding and working with graduate student marriages. The model first distinguishes symmetrical (student/student) from asymmetrical (student/working spouse) marriages. Then, the major focus is on asymmetrical marriages and the disengagement process that is typical among these couples. Asymmetrical organization, especially within today's ethos of equal roles and equal responsibilities, presents graduate student couples with several dilemmas: (a) it promotes hierarchical confusion, (b) it makes for a problematic marital quid pro quo, and (c) it fosters contextual gaps between the two partners. When these inherent difficulties are misconstrued and mishandled, dysfunctional sequences lead the couple into progressive disengagement. Even as dissatisfaction in the marriage increases, graduate student couples have a tendency to postpone and suspend negotiations. Over time, there is an intensification of the couple's unhappiness but, at the same time, the relationship remains structurally unchanged. The building tension in the marriage typically culminates in a crisis when a milestone in the student's course of work precipitates a major disorganization of the system. Clinical implications of the model are outlined with recommendations for focused interventions.