The regulation of dependency in parent-child relationships

We propose that the insecurities about a close other’s regard that make it difficult for low self-esteem people to form satisfying romantic relationships also create difficulties in family relationships. Our study revealed that low self-esteem mothers and children felt less loved by one another than did high self-esteem mothers and children. These feelings of not being loved partially accounted for the tendency of low self-esteem children and mothers to be dissatisfied with their relationships. Ironically, however, low self-esteem children’s insecurities about how much their mothers loved them were not warranted by the strength of their mother’s love. Taken together, these findings suggest that the processes that regulate attachment to significant others extend to familial as well as romantic relationships.