When Courtesy Fails: Gender Roles and Polite Behaviors1

In order to explore some of the links between gender roles and traditional courteous behaviors, 284 university students responded to a questionnaire in which they evaluated scenarios of cross-sex courteous acts, described their recent experiences with courtesy, and identified courteous behaviors that they commonly performed for and expected from others. As predicted, there was a tendency for courtesies from a woman to a man to be viewed less favorably than courtesies from a man to a woman. Most subjects had directed their most recent act of courtesy toward a female and had received their most recent act from a person of the opposite sex. Some common courtesies tended to be directed toward females more than males, and males were expected to perform certain courtesies such as opening doors and paying for things for women. In general, the results confirmed the theory that courteous behaviors may serve to perpetuate gender role stereotypes and to regulate interactions between the sexes. However, most courteous behaviors were performed and appreciated by people of both genders.