Starting over: a tentative theory exploring the effects of past relationships on postbereavement remarried couples

Using grounded theory methodology 24 participants were asked to discuss how the death of a previous spouse, either theirs or their partner's, was currently affecting their second marriage. Participants were interviewed individually and as a couple. The central category was memories of the deceased spouse. Six additional categories emerged from the data: past spouse on pedestal, current/past comparison, insecurity of current spouse, curiosity about past spouse/relationship, partner's response to curiosity, and impact on the current relationship. Existing literature, auditors, and participant feedback were all used to validate the results. Expanding on a tentative theory (Brimhall, Wampler, & Kimball, 2008), provisional hypotheses were developed, thus helping clinicians who work with complex issues involving remarried couples.     

Remarital Issues in Couple Therapy

Abstract

Remarriage and cohabitation after divorce are becoming societal norms. Given the increasing numbers of these couples, mental health professionals will encounter them in their clinical practice. There are unique issues associated with remarriage (e.g., role and boundary ambiguity, unrealistic expectations) that can hinder the family reorganization process and exacerbate typical communication problems experienced by couples. Therefore, therapists must have knowledge of these challenges to provide the most effective treatment. A brief overview of the remarriage and stepfamily literature, and recommendations for clinicians are presented.     

Remarriage Beliefs as Predictors of Marital Quality and Positive Interaction in Stepcouples: An Actor–Partner Interdependence Model

Using an Actor–Partner Interdependence Model, we examined remarriage beliefs as predictors of marital quality and positive interaction in a sample of 179 stepcouples. Three beliefs were measured using subscales from the Remarriage Belief Inventory (RMBI) including success is slim, children are the priority, and finances should be pooled. Several significant actor and partner effects were found for both wives' and husbands' beliefs. Wives' marital quality was positively associated with their own beliefs that finances should be pooled and negatively associated with their own beliefs that success is slim. Wives' reports of their own and spouses' positive interaction were both positively associated with their beliefs that finances should be pooled. Their reports of spouses' positive interaction were also negatively associated with husbands' beliefs that success is slim. Husbands' marital quality was positively associated with wives' beliefs that children are the priority, positively associated with their own beliefs that finances should be pooled, and negatively with success is slim. Positive interaction for husbands was positively associated with wives' beliefs that finances should be pooled and negatively associated with their own beliefs that success is slim. Finally, husbands' reports of positive interaction for their spouses were positively associated with wives' beliefs that finances should be pooled. Implications for future research utilizing dyadic data analysis with stepcouples are addressed.     

Mind the Gap

Abstract

Monogamy and polygamy are often considered to be a binary pair. Yet this binary is only possible under very particular conditions. This essay explores those conditions which are elided in order to sustain the binary through analyses of cases from across Christian history. In doing so, we are able to see places were monogamy and polygamy blur and create what I term polygamous monogamy. In particular I pay attention to the way time — which is impacted by other elements from Christianity such as divorce, remarriage, and the afterlife — factors into numbering marriages.     

Studying Stepfamilies: Four Eras of Family Scholarship

Historically, there have always been stepfamilies, but until the early 1970s, they remained largely unnoticed by social scientists. Research interest in stepfamilies followed shortly after divorce became the primary precursor to stepfamily formation. Because stepfamilies are structurally diverse and much more complex than nuclear families, they have created considerable challenges for both researchers and clinicians. This article examines four eras of stepfamily scholarship, tracing the development of research questions, study designs and methods, and conceptual frameworks from the mid‐1970s to the present and drawing implications for the current state of the field.     

Recoupling in Mid‐Life and Beyond: From Love at Last to Not So Fast

Divorce rates have dropped in the United States, except for couples over 50 where they are rising steeply, along with rates of late‐life recoupling. Both stepcouples and their young adult and adult children in new older stepfamilies are often surprised to find themselves facing many of the same challenges that younger stepfamilies do. Some challenges are even intensified by the decades‐long relationships and additional layers of extended family that come with recoupling after mid‐life. Stepfamilies formed in later life must also negotiate decisions about estate planning and elder care among stakeholders who often have sharply divergent agendas before there is time to establish trusting relationships. This article describes the “normal” challenges facing stepcouples who come together over age 50. It provides evidence‐informed guidance for therapists in meeting these challenges on three levels of clinical work: Psychoeducational, Interpersonal, and Intrapsychic/Intergenerational. As in younger stepfamilies, “family therapy” must usually begin in subsystems—often the adult stepcouple and parent–adult child. The article then describes a particularly fraught subgroup of recouplers: over‐50 fathers and their new partners, where the dad's young adult or adult daughter is very unhappy with his new relationship. In these latter stepfamilies, father–daughter repair must precede stepfamily bonding. Stepfamilies that are preceded by a partner's death and those that begin with affairs are also discussed. Finally, some “easy wrong turns” for therapists are described.     

Family ties after divorce: long-term implications for children

Drawing on the data from the longitudinal Binuclear Family Study, 173 grown children were interviewed 20 years after their parents' divorce. This article addresses two basic questions: (1) What impact does the relationship between parents have on their children 20 years after the divorce? and (2) When a parent remarries or cohabits, how does it impact a child's sense of family? The findings show that the parental subsystem continues to impact the binuclear family 20 years after marital disruption by exerting a strong influence on the quality of relationships within the family system. Children who reported that their parents were cooperative also reported better relationships with their parents, grandparents, stepparents, and siblings. Over the course of 20 years, most of the children experienced the remarriage of one or both parents, and one third of this sample remembered the remarriage as more stressful than the divorce. Of those who experienced the remarriage of both of their parents, two thirds reported that their father's remarriage was more stressful than their mother's. When children's relationships with their fathers deteriorated after divorce, their relationships with their paternal grandparents, stepmother, and stepsiblings were distant, negative, or nonexistent. Whether family relationships remain stable, improve, or get worse is dependent on a complex interweaving of many factors. Considering the long‐term implications of divorce, the need to emphasize life course and family system perspectives is underscored.     

Learning from the past, altering the future: a tentative theory of the effect of past relationships on couples who remarry

Using grounded theory methodology 16 participants, each in a second marriage as a result of divorce, were interviewed individually and with their partner. Participants were asked to describe how their first marriages were currently affecting their second. Trust was the central category that emerged. From this central category 3 additional categories surfaced: lack of trust in the previous relationship, attempts to increase trust while dating, and presence of trust in the current relationship. Participant feedback, internal and external auditors, and the existing literature were all used to validate the results. A tentative theory, complete with provisional hypotheses, was developed that could help clinicians address some of the challenges described by couples who remarry.