Costs and satisfaction in close relationships: The role of loss–gain framing

Two studies were conducted to clarify the pattern of mixed results found in past research regarding the association between costs and satisfaction in close relationships. Insights from Prospect Theory (D. Kahneman & A. Tversky, 1979, 2000) suggested the importance of gain–loss framing in understanding costs. When costs are attached to valued outcomes, they are perceived as gains or investments; otherwise they are perceived as losses. Appreciation by one's partner for communal behaviors and family chores provided the basis for exploring costs as gains versus losses. We hypothesized that when costs were appreciated, the greater the costs, the greater the relationship satisfaction; whereas when they were not appreciated, the greater the costs, the lower the relationship satisfaction. Further, we expected appreciation to be associated with perceived motives for incurring the costs: positively with “want” perceptions and negatively with “should” perceptions. These hypotheses were supported in research with both dating couples and women in long‐term marital or cohabiting relationships and using two types of communal behaviors: Partner Favors and more tedious Family Chores. In general, the greater the number of communal behaviors and family chores, the greater the relationship satisfaction when appreciated; the greater the number, the lower the satisfaction when relatively unappreciated.