The center of gravity

In As far as possible: discovering our limits and finding ourselves (Barish and Vida, 1998), we struggled with the constraints of being two nice girls in the context of our individual professional identities as traditionally trained psychoanalysts. We were surprised to discover, through sharing with one another some painful, confusing, and even terrifying clinical experiences, how wedded we were to certain psychoanalytic conventions. It was not a pleasant discovery. What we had to face was the extent of our submissiveness to psychoanalytic theory, and of the cost to our authentic selves of that submissiveness. This daughter-paper is about our learning not to do what we were supposed to do. Its gestation has taken a form that we could not have anticipated, for, as we pursued the writing of this sequel, we seemed to get lost along the way. After working with this over a very long time, we can see now that the paper that was ultimately born, this paper, has functioned as a vehicle for us to experience ourselves in relation in an uncertain, mingling way, conscious and unconscious, trying not to be self-conscious and not defensive. This, we can also see, is how we approach the center of gravity, where our irreducible and irreconcilable tendencies are struggling to maintain a balance. And even more to the point, this paper is also a demonstration, a look at what developmental transformation is really like, the process to which we all give lip service, but hardly any of us ever pays attention to it in our real lives, and if we do, we never, never talk about it.     

Cycles of Understanding and Hope: Toward an Integrative Model of Therapeutic Change in Child Psychotherapy*

ABSTRACT

This article presents an integrative theory of pathological development in childhood and an inclusive model of therapeutic change, based on a contemporary understanding of children's emotions. In this model, effective therapies for children and adolescents, whether through empathy and understanding or through active efforts to change patterns of thought and behavior, arrest malignant emotional processes, especially vicious cycles of painful emotions and pathogenic family interactions. Our most successful interventions then set in motion positive cycles of healthy emotional and interpersonal experiences - increased confidence and engagement in life and more affirming interactions between parents and children. Over time, successful therapy strengthens in children and adolescents a more encouraging, less critical inner voice and, perhaps most profoundly, more positive expectations for their future - a new sense of what is possible in their lives.     

Bad Feelings: A Theory of Pathological Development in Childhood

This article presents a clinical theory of healthy and pathological child development. I offer the hypothesis that persistent emotional and behavioral problems in childhood and adolescence are caused by painful emotions that remain active in the mind of the child—a bad feeling that does not go away. Over time, troubled children have become discouraged. Their discouragement has most often developed in the context of ongoing pathogenic family relationships—vicious cycles of frequent criticism, punishment, or lack of understanding on the part of parents and increasing defiance, resentment, and withdrawal on the part of children. Successful therapy arrests this malignant process. Children learn (as they do in healthy emotional development) that they will not always feel this way, at least not in the same way they do now. We then begin to turn vicious cycles into positive cycles—to strengthen in our child and adolescent patients a more encouraging, less critical inner dialogue and a new sense of what is possible in their lives.     

“As Far As Possible”: Discovering Our Limits and Finding Ourselves

The American Journal of Psychoanalysis -     

The Role of Play in Contemporary Child Psychotherapy: A Developmental Perspective

ABSTRACT

This article reviews evidence for the importance of play in children’s social and emotional development. Play is an essential pathway toward social maturity in young children. Children experience interactive play with admired adults as a form of affirming responsiveness, a basic nutrient of emotional health that all children want and need. Children learn through interactive play how to make accommodations and cooperate with others, how to cope with frustration and disappointment, and to develop self-restraint. Improved problem solving, creativity, and cognitive flexibility are also intrinsic to children’s play. All of these aspects of emotional maturity come together, synergistically, when we play with children. They are not learned, however, in front of a screen. The many benefits of play to children’s social maturity leads to a first clinical implication: As child therapists, we should help parents understand the importance of play and regularly encourage both mothers and fathers to play, frequently and enthusiastically, with their children.