Love and expansion of the self: The state of the model

The self-expansion model of love developed out of a confluence of research on attraction and arousal, Eastern psychology, motivation theory, and the social psychology of personal relationships. The model treats love (the desire for a relationship with a particular other) as arising from a desire to expand the self by including that other in the self, as well as by associating expansion with that particular other. First, the model is described, including its function as a source of heuristically important metaphors for common human experiences of love and its unique focus in relation to other approaches to love. The remainder of the article examines its application, including supporting research, to predictors of falling in love, motivations for unrequited love, consequences of falling in love, love as including each other in each other's self, and how love changes (and how it can be maintained) in long-term relationships. The conclusion examines current trends in which the model serves as both a very general integration of useful perspectives and as a set of precise mini-theories.     

Losing a self‐expanding relationship: Implications for the self‐concept

Previous research suggests that new relationships expand the self‐concept. The present research applies concepts from the self‐expansion model to examine the conditions under which relationship dissolution may influence the self‐concept. We hypothesized that the more expansion provided by a relationship predissolution, the greater the contraction of the working self‐concept postdissolution, and that this pattern would remain when controlling for predissolution closeness. These hypotheses were tested using recall of relationship qualities for recently dissolved relationships (Studies 1 and 2), as well as with a priming experiment (Study 3). The findings over the 3 studies supported both hypotheses. Those with higher levels of self‐expansion in predissolution relationships showed more detrimental impact on their working self‐concept postdissolution, even after controlling for predissolution closeness.     

Love: American style,Russian style,and Japanese style

This study was undertaken to examine young women's and men's orientations toward love in three very different cultures: Japan (N = 223), Russia (N = 401), and the United States (N = 1,043). The love variables examined were: frequency of lore experiences, attachment types, love styles, love as a basis for marriage, romantic attitudes, and predictors of falling in love. Many cultural differences were found in the love variables, but the effect of culture was not always in the expected direction. We also examined how the pattern of gender differences in love variables differed across the three societies. Some of the gender differences and similarities found in previous love research and also in the U.S. sample of this study were not replicated in the Japanese and/or Russian samples. We discuss the importance of studying love and other aspects of close relationships with data collected from more than one culture.     

When similars do not attract: Tests of a prediction from the self‐expansion model

This study tested the hypothesis from the self‐expansion model that the usual effect of greater attraction to a similar (vs. dissimilar) stranger will be reduced or reversed when a person is given information that a relationship would be likely to develop (i.e., that they would be very likely to get along) with the other person. The study employed the “bogus stranger” paradigm and focused on similarity/dissimilarity of interests in the context of attraction to a same‐gender other. The effect for similarity under conditions in which no information is given about relationship likelihood replicated the usual pattern of greater attraction to similars. However, as predicted, a significant similarity by information interaction demonstrated that this effect was significantly reduced (and slightly reversed) when participants had been given information that the partner will like self. In analyses for each gender separately, both of these effects were significant only for men, suggesting that the focus on interest similarity may have been less relevant for women.     

Analytic impasse and the third: Clinical implications of intersubjectivity theory

The author examines the notion of the third within contemporary intersubjectivity theory. He utilizes a variety of metaphors (the triangle, the seesaw, strange attractors, and the compass) in an effort to explain this often misunderstood concept in a clear and readily usable manner. An argument is made to the effect that intersubjectivity theory has direct implications for clinical practice, and that the notion of the third is particularly useful in understanding what happens in and in resolving clinical impasses and stalemates. Specifi cally, the author suggests that certain forms of self-disclosure are best understood as attempts to create a third point of reference, thus opening up psychic space for self-refl ection and mentalization. He provides a clinical case as well as a number of briefer vignettes to illustrate the theoretical concepts and to suggest specifi c modifi cations of the psychoanalyst's stance that give the patient greater access to the inner workings of the analyst's mind. This introduces a third that facilitates the gradual transformation from relations of complementarity to relations of mutuality.