Reply to Aijaz and Weidler on Hiddenness

In this brief reply I argue that criticisms of the hiddenness argument recently published in this journal by Imran Aijaz and Markus Weidler are without force. As will be shown, their critique of my conceptual version of the argument misses the mark by missing crucial distinctions. Their critique of my analogical version of the argument misunderstands that argument and also misapplies the work of W. H. Vanstone. And their critique of my view that belief is necessary for a certain kind of relationship with God overlooks both some central features of that kind of relationship and some good reasons for not accepting acceptance or anything similarly nonbelieving as a substitute for belief in this context.     

Optimal Strategies in Couple Therapy: Treating Couples Dealing with the Trauma of Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most difficult problems to address in couple therapy, most likely because it involves a traumatic relationship event that alters the ways in which couples process information about each other and established behavioral patterns. This article presents a three-stage treatment designed to address the cognitive, behavioral, and emotional sequelae of affairs that integrates cognitive-behavioral and insight-oriented strategies with the literatures on traumatic response and forgiveness. Critical and unique features of this treatment are discussed and a case study is presented to illustrate the treatment methods.     

The Big Five personality traits and perceptions of touch to intimate and nonintimate body regions

This investigation tested whether (1) the Big Five personality traits contribute to favorable perceptions of touch from a relational partner, (2) participants’ sex or personality better predicted positive perceptions of touch, and (3) perceptions of touch vary as a function of relationship satisfaction. A total of 305 participants aged 18–69 years completed self-report measures of reactions to touch, personality, and relationship satisfaction. Results showed that agreeableness was a significant predictor of positive perceptions of touch to both intimate and nonintimate body regions. Openness to experience was also a significant predictor in positive perceptions of touch to nonintimate body regions. Overall, personality was a stronger predictor of positive perceptions of touch than either biological sex or relationship satisfaction with the toucher.     

Parents Perceived as Peers: Filial Maturity in Adulthood

Filial maturity refers to the adult offspring’s perception of parents as individuals with past histories and limitations. Three studies were conducted to measure filial maturity and its relational and developmental correlates. Study 1 included adults aged 18–59 to empirically assess filial maturity and its correlates across adulthood. Study 2 examined associations between filial maturity and constructs indicative of emerging adulthood (e.g., emotional autonomy), among people aged 18–24. Study 3 included young and middle-aged adults (N = 158; ages: 22–49) and their parents to assess associations between parents’ reports of relationship quality and offspring’s filial maturity. Offspring reported greater filial maturity with mothers and with parents with whom they reported greater relationship quality, closeness, and autonomy. Parents who reported greater relationship quality had offspring who reported greater filial maturity. Findings suggest that filial maturity is a dyadic phenomenon that influences parent child relationship quality across the lifespan.     

Parasocial Interaction and Parasocial Relationship: Conceptual Clarification and a Critical Assessment of Measures

Parasocial interaction and parasocial relationship are often conflated conceptually and methodologically, leaving researchers unclear as to which concept is being tapped. This research clarifies these concepts and experimentally compares the most common measure of parasocial interaction, the Parasocial Interaction Scale (PSI‐Scale), with a newer measure, the Experience of Parasocial Interaction Scale (EPSI‐Scale). Participants (N = 383) viewed a brief videorecording of a woman who either bodily addressed the viewer or not, then completed a questionnaire. The EPSI‐Scale was a better measure of parasocial interaction, understood as a within‐viewing experience of mutual awareness, whereas the PSI‐Scale may measure short‐ or long‐term liking, or something else. To avoid conceptual and empirical confusion, researchers must choose measures with greater care.     

You do not only hurt the one you love: Self-protective responses to attractive relationship alternatives

Committed romantic relationships confer important benefits to psychological health and well-being. However, to effectively maintain these relationships, individuals must avoid threats posed by the temptation of attractive relationship alternatives. Previous work has demonstrated that individuals in committed relationships consciously downplay the allure of romantic alternatives. The current work tested the hypothesis that attractive relationship alternatives evoke an automatic self-protective response at an early stage of cognition. The current study employed a computer simulation that recorded automatic, split-second assessments of threat elicited by social targets that varied in their gender and level of attractiveness. Consistent with hypotheses, attractive opposite-sex targets evoked automatic self-protective responses from participants in committed heterosexual relationships. Moreover, these responses seemed to be particularly pronounced among the male participants in committed relationships. These findings have implications for the maintenance of long-term close relationships.     

An Examination of the Role of Mentees’ Social Skills and Relationship Quality in a School-Based Mentoring Program

Research on youth mentoring highlights the importance of the relationship quality between mentor and mentee; mentoring results in more positive outcomes when the mentee perceives the relationship as satisfying and trustworthy. Research on relationship quality shows that social skills are important for constructing new relationships. However, whereas improved social skills are often one of the main goals of youth mentoring, little is known about the importance of social skills for relationship quality in youth mentoring relations. In this study, we examined whether mentee's pre-intervention social skills were related to mentor–mentee relationship quality as perceived by the mentee, and in turn, if relationship quality was associated with post-intervention social skills. We additionally examined possible gender and age differences in these associations. Data were used from a two-wave study that assessed relationship quality and social skills before and after one semester of mentoring of 390 secondary school students in a school-based mentoring program. Results indicated that relationship quality was positively associated with post-intervention social skills. However, only for young mentees pre-intervention social skills were associated with better relationship quality. Moreover, only for young mentees, relationship quality mediated the association between pre- and post-intervention social skills.     

“We Hardly Ever Talk about It”: Emotional Responsive Attunement in Couples after a Child's Death

Within Western cultural traditions, the idea that parents should talk about the death of their child with each other is deeply rooted. However, across bereaved parent couples there are wide variations in communication about their grief with each other. In this study, we explored the experiences of bereaved couples related to the process of talking and not talking. We used a thematic coding approach to analyze 20 interviews with 26 bereaved parents (11 interviewed as couples, four as individuals). Four main meanings emerged out of our analysis: not talking because of the inadequacy and pointlessness of words in grief, not talking as a way to regulate emotions in daily life, not talking as an expression of a personal, intimate process, and not talking because the partner has the same loss but a different grief process. In addition, we found that the process of talking and not talking can partly be understood as an emotional responsive process on an intrapersonal and interpersonal level. In this process partners search for a bearable distance from their own grief and their partner's, and attune with their relational context. A better understanding of this process is sought in a dialectical approach, emphasizing the value of both talking and not talking in a tense relationship with each other. Implications for clinical work are described.     

Heteronormative Relationship Education for Same‐Gender Couples

In recent years, same‐gender group‐based relationship education has emerged as a viable intervention to prevent relationship distress among same‐gender couples. However, many of these programs are conducted in metropolitan areas and lack the ability to reach rural populations. The current study sought to investigate whether two wide‐reaching web‐based heteronormative relationship education programs could positively impact same‐gender relationships. In a sample of 49 same‐gender couples, heteronormative relationship education had small (Cohen's d = 0.16–0.39) but reliably positive effects on key areas of relationship functioning and perceived stress relative to a waitlist control group. Additionally, when same‐gender couples were matched with different‐gender individuals with similar baseline characteristics, no reliable differences between the two groups emerged even though the program effects were sometimes half as large for same‐gender couples. Finally, same‐gender participants were as satisfied with the program as the matched different‐gender individuals. Though the results of the present study indicate that heteronormative relationship education can be helpful for same‐gender couples, additional tailoring should be undertaken to ensure that same‐gender couples experience as much benefit as possible. Estimates from the current study could be used in future studies to detect what might be small‐sized differences.     

Escalation and Regulation of Emotional Arousal in Couples Predicts Relationship Satisfaction Concurrently and 25 Years Later

Relationship distress and divorce are major risk factors for the development or exacerbation of psychopathology and psychosocial impairments. Given that heightened negative emotions within couples’ interactions may portend negative relationship outcomes, it is critical to understand how emotions unfold across a conversation and how partners may influence each other’s immediate emotional experiences. This study examined whether these regulatory dynamics within one interaction predicted relationship satisfaction concurrently and 25 years later. Vocally‐encoded emotional arousal (f₀) was measured during couples’ (N = 25 couples) conversations about a relationship issue. Across different analytical strategies, results demonstrate that one partner’s f₀ dynamics had immediate and long‐term associations with the other partner’s satisfaction. Partners were less satisfied if the other partner (a) expressed higher f₀ overall and (b) escalated more in f₀ across the conversation. Yet, partners were more satisfied when their f₀ escalated across the conversation. Also, women specifically were more satisfied if their f₀ remained elevated longer before regulating back to their emotional baseline. Thus, higher f₀ was associated with higher satisfaction in the same partner, but associated with less satisfaction in the other partner—particularly when these emotions come from women. It may be that partners have to decide whether to prioritize expressing their emotions fully or limit expression in the service of their partner’s happiness. These findings challenge us to think of ways to address this “win–lose” scenario so that couples can balance both partners’ emotional needs and preserve relationship quality across the life span.