Commitment to Connection in a Culture of Fear

SUMMARY

This article was originally presented at the May 2004 Learning from Women Conference sponsored by Harvard Medical School and the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute. It examines the ways in which cultural and personal denial of fear and vulnerability contribute to a sense of isolation. Fear is manipulated in hierarchical settings to ensure the preservation of existing power arrangements. In a culture built on exploitation of fear, people do not experience the safety necessary to let their inevitable vulnerabilities show. Unmitigated chronic fear is an unsafe context that leads to a traumatic sense of disempowerment and personal immobilization, whether it is in war, childhood sexual abuse, living with a battering partner, or, perhaps in a more subtle way, in being immersed in massages of un-safety, danger, and having no influence in the larger public domain. Through mutual empathy we can heal these places of fear and disconnection. Mutual empathy arises in a context of profound respect, authentic responsiveness, humility, non-defensiveness, an attitude of curiosity, mindfulness (staying with the “not knowing”), and an appreciation of the power of learning. Movement out of isolation helps us pass through fear to hope and ultimately leads to growth and more connection.     

Methodological issues in language acquisition research with very young children

It is suggested that the dominance of observational methods in child language research with very young children has limited progress in understanding the language acquisition process. Evidence is presented that, contrary to popular belief, naturalistic methods do not guarantee ecological validity, nor are they free of task biases. Furthermore, observational studies do not necessarily provide better measures of linguistic competence than do more structured methods. Instead, it is argued that new insights from cognitive developmental research are applicable in studying language production in children younger than 3 years. A number of structured techniques are reviewed that have been used or could be used to study language production. It is concluded that a combination of methods is necessary in order to disentangle and control the many variables that enter into the language acquisition process.     

Relational-Cultural Practice: Working in a Nonrelational World

SUMMARY

While more and more clinicians are practicing a relational-cultural approach to therapy, many work in settings that continue to reinforce the normative values of separation and disconnection. Consequently, practitioners face the challenges of helping clients heal and grow-through-connection while navigating work settings that are all too often professionally disempowering, disconnecting, and isolating, i.e., “cultures of disconnection.” This article begins a conversation about the complexities of practicing Relational-Cultural Theory in nonrelational work situations and explores new possibilities for creating movement and change in these settings.     

Valuing Vulnerability: New Definitions of Courage

SUMMARY

In a dominant, Western culture that celebrates strength in separation and holds unrealistic expectations for independent, autonomous functioning, vulnerability is seen as a handicap. This system creates the illusion of an invulnerable and separate self, and uses individualistic standards to measure a person's worth. Since these unrealistic expectations cannot be humanly attained, these controlling images become the source of shame and disconnection. RCT suggests that there is value in embracing vulnerability and in providing support, both at an individual and a societal level, for the inevitable vulnerability of all people. Rather than espousing the individual, mostly mythical, traits of a “lone hero,” RCT moves us toward new and important pathways to resilience and courage through connection. A version of this article was originally presented at the 2002 Learning from Women Conference, co-sponsored by Harvard Medical School and the Jean Baker Miller Training Institute.     

How Therapy Helps When the Culture Hurts

SUMMARY

The purpose of psychotherapy is movement toward relational healing. However, the practice itself is embedded in a culture where relational disconnection and power-over arrangements are normative. The purpose of this article is to examine the impact of cultural disconnections on the therapy relationship. Because they embody multiple social identities within a power-over paradigm, both client and therapist are “carriers” of cultural disconnections. The article examines the shifting vulnerabilities associated with those identities that may lead to impasse and violation or contribute to possibilities for growth. Scenarios from clinical practice illustrate how conflict becomes a pathway to deeper connection when embraced with such processes as empathic attunement, authentic responsiveness, and mutuality.