What is this thing called love? Defining the love that supports marriage and family

The aim of this article was to define, on the basis of theorizing and research, the love that supports marriage and the family, or the type of love that is related to high levels of satisfaction in relationships, to the psychological well-being of family members and to stable family relationships. Literature is reviewed that explores the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral aspects of both mature and immature love, and I conclude that all three aspects of love can be either mature or immature. With regard to the emotional component, I have noted that feelings of both passion and companionship can continue throughout life. Immature love is exemplified in such constructs as limerence, love addiction, and infatuation. Given that love is socially constructed, I note that it can be strongly affected by the beliefs about love that are present in the culture, and that these beliefs can be either functional or dysfunctional. Particularly dysfunctional beliefs include those emphasizing that love is blind, external, and beyond the control of the lovers. Behaviors characteristic of mature and immature love are also explored. It seems that mature love may be best conceptualized as creating an environment in which both the lovers and those who depend on them can grow and develop. This type of love supports marriage and family life.     

Adult attachment style and partner choice: Correlational and experimental findings

Three studies were conducted to assess the role of attachment style in partner selection using both correlational and experimental methods. Study 1 (n = 83 couples) assessed correlations between partner ratings on attachment-style dimensions and the relations between own and partner attachment style and relationship satisfaction. In Study 2 (n = 226) and Study 3 (n = 146), participants who varied in terms of attachment style rated the desirability of potential partners who also differed in terms of attachment style. Results of all three studies generally suggested that individuals were most attracted to partners with similar attachment styles. For example, anxious individuals tended to be dating anxious partners in Study 1, and they preferred anxious partners over secure and avoidant partners in Studies 2 and 3 (combined data). Thus, not all individuals preferred secure partners. Second, unlike previous studies that looked primarily at partner correlations, there was no evidence of anxious/avoidant matching. In fact, anxious individuals seemed particularly averse to avoidant partners. Finally, ratings of parental caregiving styles (especially ratings of mothers) were associated with adult attachment dimensions and partner choices. For example, individuals who rated their mothers as more cold and ambivalent were less attracted to secure partners. Clinical and research implications are discussed.     

An Easy and Practical Approach to Data Management

This article demonstrates the usefulness and practicality of the Statistical Analysis System (SAS) (1979, version 79.5) as a data base management system for a developmental studies program. SAS is available on IBM computers at educational institutions across the county, and it provides an effective tool for data management.     

Counselor Values And The Pregnant Adolescent Client

A PREGNANCY FOR AN unmarried teenager is a dynamic and often traumatic situation. It is generally unplanned and frequently the cause of real heartache. Most counselors will respond with empathy to the problem and certainly to the adolescent.     

A Power-base Training Model for Women

This article describes a behavioral skills training model aimed at decreasing feelings of powerlessness often experienced by women, adapted from the literature on power-bases.     

Understanding Dual Career Couples

The increasing number of clients seeking to maintain a dual career life-style has increased the need for counselors to educate themselves to the unqiue set of concerns, needs, and characteristics particular to dual career partners and their families. This article presents an overview of the published literature delineating the variables associated with this life-style, including the numerous benefits or incentives, the common conflicts and stressors, and the personality dynamics shared by these men and women. In addition, the article will describe dysfunctional coping strategies as well as adaptive strategies employed by individuals attempting to manage the coupling of both career and family.     

Sexual media use and relational satisfaction in heterosexual couples

This study assessed how sexual media use by one or both members of a romantic dyad relates to relationship and sexual satisfaction. A total of 217 heterosexual couples completed an Internet survey that assessed sexual media use, relationship and sexual satisfaction, and demographic variables. Results revealed that a higher frequency of men's sexual media use related to negative satisfaction in men, while a higher frequency of women's sexual media use related to positive satisfaction in male partners. Reasons for sexual media use differed by gender: Men reported primarily using sexual media for masturbation, while women reported primarily using sexual media as part of lovemaking with their partners. Shared sexual media use was associated with higher relational satisfaction compared to solitary sexual media use.     

More Thinking About Gender: A Response to Julie A. Nelson

Nelson argues the best we can hope for in a nonsexist society is to revalue those feminine qualities that have previously been devalued. I argue that those qualities are the result of a sexist construction of gender categories, and that a nonsexist society would have no reason to preserve them.