Is Silence More Golden for Women than Men? Observers Derogate Effusive Women and their Quiet Partners

Couples in which the woman is more verbally disinhibited than the man (man-more-inhibited couples) report lower satisfaction than couples in which the man is more verbally disinhibited (woman-more-inhibited couples). A violation of traditional gender roles is hypothesized to underlie this phenomenon. It was predicted that members of man-more-inhibited couples would be rated less likeable than woman-more-inhibited couples, and disinhibited men would be rated more competent than other males and females. To test these hypotheses, 95 undergraduate participants from a southwestern US university viewed a videotaped conflict between a man-more-inhibited or woman-more-inhibited couple. As predicted, members of man-more-inhibited couples were rated less likeable than members of woman-more-inhibited couples and disinhibited husbands were rated more competent than all other targets.     

Tempting today, troubling tomorrow: the roots of the precarious couple effect

The precarious couple effect occurs when men pair with women who are both critical and more verbally disinhibited than them. Evidence that dissatisfaction runs high in such relationships makes one ask why people enter them in the first place. In Study 1, respondents recalled that past partners who were verbally disinhibited were relatively active in initiating the relationship. In Study 2, verbally inhibited men evidenced ambivalence in that they disliked disinhibited women more than inhibited ones but these feelings of disliking did not translate into expectations of feeling tense during the interaction. Study 3 revealed that initial interactions between inhibited men and disinhibited women go smoothly unless (a) the women are critical and (b) the pair discusses a stressful topic. The authors suggest that members of precarious couples are drawn to one another because, in initial encounters, their communication styles are relatively symbiotic. Alas, this initial chemistry does not always endure.     

Swimming serenely in a sea of words: Sexism,communication, and precarious couples

When critical, verbally disinhibited women pair with verbally inhibited men, relationship quality suffers, rendering the relationship precarious. The interpersonal and personal antecedents of this precarious couple effect were examined. It was found that the precarious couple effect was partially mediated by unhealthy communication patterns, specifically, the absence of mutual constructive criticism and the presence of a woman‐demand/man‐withdraw pattern. It is proposed further that such unhealthy communication patterns emerge because inhibited men who endorse traditional conceptions of sex roles are dissatisfied with relatively disinhibited women who are also critical, setting in motion a chain of unhealthy communication patterns. Results were generally consistent with this prediction. Implications for understanding the role of sexism and personality mismatch in relationships are discussed.     

Three-year follow-up of same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont, same-sex couples not in civil unions, and heterosexual married couples

This study was a 3-year follow-up of 65 male and 138 female same-sex couples who had civil unions in Vermont during the 1st year of that legislation. These couples were compared with 23 male and 61 female same-sex couples in their friendship circles who did not have civil unions and with 55 heterosexual married couples (1 member of each was a sibling to a member of a civil union couple). Despite the legalized nature of their relationships, civil union couples did not differ on any measure from same-sex couples who were not in civil unions. However, same-sex couples not in civil unions were more likely to have ended their relationships than same-sex civil union or heterosexual married couples. Compared with heterosexual married participants, both types of same-sex couples reported greater relationship quality, compatibility, and intimacy and lower levels of conflict. Longitudinal predictors of relationship quality at Time 2 included less conflict, greater level of outness, and a shorter relationship length for men in same-sex relationships and included less conflict and more frequent sex for women in same-sex relationships at Time 1.     

Couple therapy for military veterans: overall effectiveness and predictors of response

Despite the numerous challenges facing U.S. veterans and their relationships, there have been no examinations of the effectiveness of couple therapy for relationship distress provided to veterans. In the present study, 177 couples presenting for couple therapy at two Veteran Administration Medical Centers completed assessments of relationship satisfaction prior to therapy and weekly during therapy. Results revealed that the average couple showed significant gains in relationship satisfaction during treatment (d=0.44 for men; d=0.47 for women); gains were larger for couples beginning therapy in the distressed range (d=0.61 for men; d=0.58 for women) than for couples in the nondistressed range (d=0.19 for men; d=0.22 for women). Rates of premature termination were high, with 19% of couples completing fewer than three sessions and 62% rated as not completing a "full course" of therapy. Benchmarking analyses demonstrated that the average gains were larger than would be expected from natural remission and similar to previous effectiveness trials; however, average gains were smaller than those observed in couple therapy efficacy trials. Relationship, psychological, and demographic characteristics were generally unrelated to the amount of change in therapy after controlling for initial satisfaction. However, African American couples showed significantly larger gains than Caucasian, non-Hispanic couples. Thus, though yielding smaller effects than those shown in efficacy trials, the impact of couple therapy for veterans' relationship problems appears to generalize across various demographic, psychological, and relationship characteristics.     

Fight-seeking motivation in dating partners with an aggressive relationship

The author studied aggression among dating couples to determine if partners' fight-seeking motivation could explain the phenomenon. Intact dating couples were classified as aggressive if either partner reported having perpetrated 2 or more acts of assaultive violence in the past year. The author asked participants to rate the extent to which they and their partners intentionally physically or verbally fought with one another, felt calmer after physical or verbal conflict with their partners, and sought to increase sensory stimulation by taking part in high-risk activities. Together, these ratings constituted a measure of fight-seeking motivation. Results of a logistic regression analysis showed that couples classified as aggressive (48%) had relationships longer in duration than did nonaggressive couples. In addition, both men and women in aggressive relationships had greater fight-seeking motivation than did individuals in nonaggressive relationships.     

Gender differences in perceptions of emotionality: The case of close heterosexual relationships

Previous research suggests some support for the stereotype that women are the more emotional gender, but very little research has examined whether women are more emotional than men in the context of close relationships. We examined gender differences in reports of emotions experienced and expressed in close heterosexual relationships. A sample of 197 couples (at different stages of relationship involvement), most of whom were white and from middle-class backgrounds, responded to a list of 25 positive and negative emotions three times. Participants indicated how often they experienced the emotions, how often they expressed the emotions, and how often they believed their partner experienced the emotions (all in the past month). Women reported experiencing several emotions to a greater frequency than men, regardless of degree of relationship involvement. Further, women reported being more emotionally expressive than men in dating and more advanced (e.g., engaged) relationships, but not in marital relationships. Finally, women believed that they were generally more emotional than men, whereas men believed that women were more emotional in the experience of negative but not positive emotions. The results were generally consistent with the stereotype that females are the more emotional gender.     

IS SEXUAL ORIENTATION A MATTER OF CHOICE?

Ninety women in lesbian and heterosexual couples were compared on relationship values, views of same-gender and cross-gender intimate relationships, and perceived choice of sexual orientation. Both groups reported similar values, levels of self-esteem, and capacity for intimacy. The majority in both groups described their relationships with women as more emotionally and intellectually intimate than those with men. A majority of women in lesbian couples (58%) and a third of women in heterosexual couples reported choosing the orientation of their current sexual relationship. Women with male partners did not perceive major differences between homosexual and heterosexual relationships, citing sexual attraction as the primary reason they chose a male partner. In contrast, many women with female partners characterized lesbian relationships as more intimate and equal, and less gender-role stereotyped, frequently citing these characteristics, along with sexual attraction, as reasons for their relationship preference.     

Gay males’ intimate relationship quality: The roles of attachment security,gay identity,social support,and income

Past research of relationship quality in same–sex couples has emphasized similarities with heterosexual couples. The present study examined both general and gay–specific intra– and interpersonal factors as predictors of gay men's relationship durability and relationship satisfaction. Our proposed path model postulated effects of contextual variables on self and relationships (i.e., social support/acceptance as context for attachment security, self–acceptance, and intimate relationships). The data, collected from an Israeli sample of gay men (N = 121), supported this model. All hypothesized paths were significant: Attachment security mediated the association of perceived friends’ support and self–acceptance with relationship quality, self–acceptance mediated the association of self–definition and perceived friends’ acceptance with relationship quality, and income had a direct association with relationship quality.     

SILENCING THE SELF

Silencing the self theory (Jack, 1991) holds that women's depression is closely related to experiences in close relationships, especially if women conform with societal norms for feminine relationship roles. In conforming, Jack believes that women develop relationship schema that heighten vulnerability to loss of self-esteem and depressive symptomatology. An exploratory study addressed relationships among self-report measures of silencing the self, dyadic adjustment, demographic variables, and depressive symptomatology in a community sample of 155 cohabiting women and men, including 37 heterosexual couples from which both partners provided data. Although relationship adjustment was no more closely associated with depressive symptomatology for women than for men, silencing the self was. Demographic variables (number of children, employment status, and income) accounted for a significant proportion of variance in depressive symptomatology for men but not for women. Women's self-reported silencing was related to both their own and their partner's relationship adjustment.     

Romantic relationship quality during the COVID-19 pandemic: The longitudinal associations with relationship loneliness and depression

The COVID-19 pandemic created significant strain on both mental health and romantic relationships. Therefore, we examined longitudinal associations between romantic relationship quality, relationship loneliness, and depressive symptoms over 6 months of the COVID-19 pandemic. We surveyed 122 couples (n = 244 individuals) in approximately May, September, and November 2020. Using a dyadic mediation model, findings indicated that relationship quality at Time 1 was positively associated with depression at Time 3 for men, but not for women. A significant indirect effect of relationship quality on depression via relationship loneliness at Time 2 was found for both men and women. Self-mastery, or feeling in control of one's life circumstances, was an important covariate of women's depressive symptoms. Overall, these findings highlight relationship loneliness as particularly salient for mental health and demonstrate the importance of high-quality relationships for promoting well-being during stressful events, such as global pandemics.     

Longitudinal associations between relationship problems,divorce, and life satisfaction: Findings from a 15-year population-based study

Relationship problems are negatively associated with life satisfaction. Bottom-up theories assume that relationship quality affects life satisfaction while top-down theories assume that global personality dispositions affect evaluations of relationship quality. Only bottom-up theories imply that the negative association between relationship problems and life satisfaction will be removed when the relationship is ended and that divorce thus may be a positive event for persons from troubled relationships. In this study associations between relationship problems, divorce, and life satisfaction were examined among 369 heterosexual couples. Relationship problems predicted life satisfaction 15 years later in both men and women. This association was significantly stronger among not-divorced than among divorced couples. Among couples with severe relationship problems those who divorced had higher life satisfaction at 15-year follow-up than those who remained together while the reverse was true among less troubled couples. The findings thus support bottom-up theories of life satisfaction.     

They May Disapprove,but I Still Love You: Attachment Behaviors Moderate the Effect of Social Disapproval on Marital Relationship Quality

The degree of approval for a relationship from one’s social network has been shown to predict relationship outcomes. Additional research has shown that attachment can buffer the negative effects of various factors (e.g., depression) on relationships. Using an actor–partner interdependence model in an SEM framework, we research the effects of disapproval from parents and friends for one’s relationship on marital relationship quality for self and partner in a sample of 858 married couples. We also examine whether each spouse’s attachment behaviors can moderate these effects. Results indicated that one’s own attachment behaviors moderate the effects of their own parents’ and friends’ disapproval on their self-reported relationship quality for both men and women. Partner’s attachment behaviors moderate own friend’s disapproval on self-reported relationship quality for men and women; additionally, the main effect of partner’s friends’ and parents’ disapproval became nonsignificant with that test. The findings provide evidence that attachment behaviors of both partners play a role in buffering the negative effects of the social network disapproval on relationship outcomes. Clinical implications are discussed.     

What’s Love Got to Do with It: Relationship Functioning and Mental and Physical Quality of Life Among Pregnant Adolescent Couples

The study objective was to describe relationship adjustment and its association with mental and physical quality of life for young couples expecting a baby. 296 young pregnant couples recruited from urban obstetric clinics reported on relationship strengths (e.g., equity, romantic love, and attractiveness), relationship risks (e.g., attachment, intimate partner violence), external family support, relationship adjustment, and mental and physical quality of life. Using the Actor Partner Interdependence Model we assessed both actor and partner effects of relationship variables on relationship adjustment and quality of life. Sixty-one percent of couples had at least one member with moderate or severe relationship distress. Lower attachment avoidance, lower attachment anxiety, higher relationship equity, lack of intimate partner violence, feelings of love, perceived partner attractiveness, and family support of the relationship related to better relationship adjustment. Associations were fairly consistent across gender. Better relationship adjustment related to more positive mental and physical quality of life for both young women and men. Our results highlight the potential importance of strong relationships on the well-being of expecting parents. Our results suggest that secure attachments, equitable relationships, feelings of love, and a lack of violence may be particularly important in having strong relationships and improved mental and physical health during pregnancy.     

Cohesion and adaptability among individuals under treatment for infertility

The objective of this study was to evaluate cohesion and adaptability as relationship patterns of individuals in the presence or absence of infertility. Infertile subjects (20 men and 26 women, age 29.9 yr., SD = 3.8), and 100 fertile individuals (52 men and 48 women, age 29.5 yr., SD = 3.6) were included in this cross-sectional study conducted in Brazil. Subjects were married for the first time and had no children. The pattern of relationship (cohesion and adaptability) was assessed on the Family Adaptability and Cohesion Evaluation Scale (FACES III). Subjects were also interviewed and the interviews tape-recorded and analyzed by independent and blinded senior psychiatrists. The concepts of cohesion and adaptability did not differentiate infertile couples from fertile ones. Further, the recorded interviews also resulted in heterogeneous. nonconcordant judgments. These results lead to two conclusions: that awareness of infertility is not present in the population studied or that it is present but the magnitude of its effect is quite small and that FACES III and the interview focus on adaptability and cohesion are not sensitive enough to measure the difficulties in these couples' relationships. This leads us to reflect on the type of psychiatric support available to infertile couples.     

“Hold Me Tight”: The Generalizability of an Attachment-Based Group Intervention to Chinese Canadian Couples

“Hold Me Tight” (HMT) groups are an adaptation of emotionally focused therapy (EFT) for couples and have emerged out of 30 years of research into the efficacy and process of EFT. The goal of this study was to test the effects of a Chinese-language version of the HMT relationship enrichment program in a sample of Chinese Canadians. Twenty-three men and 23 women (N = 46) in committed couple relationships completed an HMT relationship education program with their partners in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Results indicated statistically significant improvements in participants' satisfaction with their attachment relationships, in their attachment security, and in their family functioning. The implications of these findings are discussed in light of relevant cross-cultural literature on attachment and couple relationships.     

The Relationship Between Social Support and Family Relationships Among Low-Income Couples Attending Relationship Education

Results are mixed for relationship education (RE) interventions with low-income couples. For couples who experienced positive changes, it is not clear what aspects of program models contributed to change. Many low-income couples attend government-funded RE with limited access to social and community resources. Program models often provide related resources complimentary to RE skill-building. We examined the relationship between income, social support, and family functioning for low-income, ethnically diverse couples (N = 856) who attended RE, as well as the mediating effects of social support on family functioning outcomes. Analyses included three separate dyadic models that examined associations among constructs at baseline and immediately following the RE intervention. Results demonstrated relationships between participants’ reported social support and family functioning such that (a) social support was associated with baseline family functioning for both men and women; (b) men’s baseline social support was influenced by women’s baseline family functioning; and (c) men’s and women’s social support change score had a positive influence on their own family functioning change score. However, social support was not a significant mediator of change in family functioning. Implications for RE practice and research are also discussed.     

The Balance of Power in Romantic Heterosexual Couples Over Time from “His” and “Her” Perspectives

In this investigation, the balance of power between men and women in romantic relationships was examined with a sample of 101 heterosexual couples, some of whom were surveyed up to jive times over a four-year period. A majority of the participants (who were primarily Caucasian and middle class) reported some imbalance in power in their relationship (53% of the men and 52% of the women on a global measure of power; 67% of the men and 65% of the women on a measure of decision making). The longitudinal data indicated that perceptions of power were quite stable over time. When power imbalances in relationships occurred, the male partner was more likely than the female to be seen as the power holder, although these differences were statistically significant only for men (full sample). In support of W. Waller's principle of least interest [(1937) The Family: A Dynamic Interpretation, New York: Gordon], being the less emotionally involved partner in the relationship was associated with greater power. We further found that men were more likely than women to perceive themselves as the less emotionally invested partner. Perceptions of power balance were generally unrelated to either relationship satisfaction or to the likelihood that the couple broke up over time. In one exception, men who perceived their relationship to be equal in power (but not decision making) reported the highest level of satisfaction. We conclude that the balance of power still often favors men in these romantic couples (especially in decision making), although couples do not always agree on their perceptions, with male partners tending to see more male dominance than females.     

“We Told You that's How They Are”: Responses To White Women in Abusive Intimate Relationships with Men of Color

The urging by interracial couples to be accepted as “normal” couples may present as challenging if problems arise in the relationship; especially if those “problems” are of an abusive or violent nature. Drawing on semi-structured, in-depth interviews we analyze the experiences of White women in abusive intimate relationships with men of color. We query the struggles of the women negotiating these relationships and explore the responses the women receive by family, friends, the general public, and workers in the criminal justice system and social and medical services. We argue that White women abused by men of color face additional challenges because of outsiders' disapproving views of the interracial nature of the relationships.