‘If I leave home,who will take care of mum?’ Intergenerational transmission of parental trauma through projective identification

Using the construct of projective identification and integrating it with the body of literature on intergenerational transmission of unsymbolized parental trauma, I describe the case of an adult daughter that illustrates intergenerational transmission of unsymbolized parental trauma. It is suggested that the daughter has unconsciously identified with the disavowed feelings of anxiety projected into her by her mother. The daughter’s projective identification of her mother’s unresolved past traumas prevent her from leaving the parental home for the first time, despite being 35 years old. In turn, it is thought that the mother’s unconscious grasping onto her daughter is an attempt to avoid the confrontation of her own unprocessed fears implanted into her by her own mother, thus linking three generations of disavowal. As a way of extending the exiting theory, it is proposed that when there are long-term and inexplicable experiences of anxiety that coalesces around the intergenerational transmission of parental trauma, the term ‘intergenerational transmission of traumatic anxiety’ can be used to describe it.     

Relieving feelings of strain among women with elderly mothers

I hypothesized that feelings of strain experienced by an adult daughter are likely to interfere with the nature of her relationship with her aging mother and to have a potentially deleterious effect on the mother. To test this proposition, I devised a study that examined the impact of two brief interventions on 37 middle-aged women and 24 of their elderly mothers: (a) a cognitive-behavioral presentation designed to reduce the daughter's unrealistic feelings of responsibility and (b) a supportive-educational presentation designed to increase the daughter's awareness of her mother's needs. I found that the first procedure was more effective than the second in reducing the daughter's burden, improving the mother-daughter relationship, and decreasing the loneliness experienced by the elderly mother.     

Between Races and Generations: Materializing Race and Kinship in Moraga and Irigaray

Juxtaposing Cherríe Moraga's Loving in the War Years and Luce Irigaray's Speculum of the Other Woman, I explore the ways that sex and race intersect to complicate an Irigarayan account of the relations between mother and daughter. Irigaray's work is an effective tool for understanding the disruptive and potentially healing desire between mothers and daughters, but her insistence on sex as primary difference must be challenged in order to acknowledge the intersectionality of sex and race. Working from recent work on the psychoanalysis of race, I argue that whiteness functions as a master signifier in its own right, and as a means of differentiation between the light‐skinned Moraga and her brown‐skinned mother. Irigaray's concept of blood deepens Moraga's account of her healing and subversive return to her mother. The juxtaposition of Moraga, Irigaray, and contemporary psychoanalysis of race can allow for a necessary revision of Irigaray's psychoanalysis that acknowledges the ways in which sexual difference is indexed by race and sheds new light on her account of the mother–daughter relation.     

Self-Coherence and Mutuality in the Analytic Dyad: Commentary on Michael Shoshani (Rosenbaum's) Dare to be Human

Michael Shoshani (Rosenbaum's) book Dare to be Human lays bare Michael's emotional relationship with his patient Daniel. Initially, Michael's early childhood relational behavioral patterns are evoked by Daniel's extreme emotional detachment and rejection of Michael as a person. Both analytic partners experienced extreme boundary violations as children in the form of violent beatings, Michael by his father and Daniel by his mother. Michael's mother was overbearing like Daniel's. Both, highly sensitized to intrusions and perceived slights by the other, remain locked in a doer/done to dynamic until Michael successfully breaks through the enactment by learning to stay with Daniel's distress, contain and regulate his own hurt feelings, and provide more space in the relationship by shifting to four times a week and moving Daniel to the couch. Through this process both analytic partners feel safer with each other, deepen their understanding of their own internal object world, and feel intimately engaged with each other. Daniel's life outside the analysis parallels his success in the analytic relationship.     

Sweet Pea Summer

For a number of years, the author, now 64, has studied the mythological theme of the mother and daughter mysteries. An earlier memoir in Psychological Perspectives, entitled “Pictures of My Mother” (2010), explored a strained and often painful relationship. In that essay, the author uncovered a previously unfelt love for the “colorful, constrained, complicated, and courageous” woman her mother was. The generative process of writing “Pictures of My Mother” opened a new understanding. In this article the author receives a fresh visitation from Mnemosyne, the Greek goddess of memory. The goddess penetrates beneath images of illness and old age and travels into an earlier time. The author was five, and her mother, at the age of 44, was still vital and alive. The mother, a gifted gardener, taught her daughter how to grow sweet peas. The flowers blossom as an expression of the bond between mother and daughter.     

The Primary Maternal Oedipal Situation and Female Homoerotic Desire

In this paper, I closely examine classical psychoanalytic theory on the female oedipal complex in order to shed light on same-sex object choice. Given that the mother is the first love object for the girl as well as for the boy, the girl's object relational constellation centrally involves the experience of homoeroticism as well as heteroeroticism. Yet, it remains a question as to whether a mother can see her daughter as a sexual subject; can mother–daughter homoerotic desire be experienced and validated by the mother? That a girl desires her mother is generally not seen or registered by the mother; it remains an unrecognized desire.

I suggest that the obscuring of female desire has to do centrally with the fate of eroticism in the early mother–daughter relationship. I propose relabeling the “negative oedipal complex” in girls as “the primary maternal oedipal situation.” Issues involving invisibility or stigmatization of one's erotic desire likely pose a significant challenge to the self–esteem of many lesbians. It is important in clinical work with lesbian patients to be open to a complex interweaving of developmental experiences, varying with each individual, some of which may have been damaging to, and others strengthening of, female sexuality.     

Opening the mind to reality

The author shows, through the use of clinical material, how an early failure in love can give rise to a severely crippling superego. The experience of a hateful relation with the mother is not simply internalized as a persecuting internal object, but is grafted onto the very roots of superego formation. As a result, the development of other parts of the psyche are affected – specifically the relation between the ego and self and the development of sexuality. The alienation between ego and self impairs thinking and the perception of external reality, which is modified and denied in the service of maintaining a pathological superego. By allowing the patient's hateful feelings to come out in the transference, without making him feel guilty, he is then able to risk expressing his loving feelings without the fear of rejection or abandonment. Through this process, the pathological superego can be dismantled and a more benign superego constructed.     

Religion's encouragement and inhibition of psychological maturity

The secure feelings that religious faith instills can help strengthen people against the anxieties experienced in life. They can strengthen people against anxiety in a mature and immature way. When religion makes people feel secure by providing an image of God that magically removes anxiety, rather than that stimulates the strength to make people feel confident enough to manage anxiety, then religion is of the latter type. However, even religion of this type can lead gradually to growth, rather then permanently to immaturity. It can temporarily free people of their anxieties in order to make them feel secure enough to confront the fears and manage the conflicts which, when they were anxious, they were unable to do. A clinical case is provided to demonstrate this process.     

Detriangulation of Absent Fathers in Single-Parent Black Families: Techniques of Imagery

The projection of the mother's unresolved feelings about an absent father onto one or more of her children-often the eldest son expected to assume the role of parental child-is an obstacle frequently encountered in therapy with single-parent Black families. Acknowledgment and resolution of these feelings by the mother is an important step toward reestablishing generational boundaries and improving communication between mother and children. It is suggested that the empty chair procedure and the use of family photographs are two interventions that can be used within the context of structural and/or transgenerational family therapies to help the mother separate her feelings about the absent father from her feelings about her children. Models for the use of both approaches and the potential benefits of each is presented. The successful outcome of either technique may depend, however, on variables in the family's history and the stage of therapy during which the techniques are introduced.     

Mother–Daughter Relationship Quality and Body Image in Preadolescent Girls

Research suggests that mothers may play a role in girls’ body image development. The “interactive” hypothesis specifies that qualities of the mother–daughter relationship, as opposed to maternal modeling alone, predict daughter’s body image. We sought to understand how maternal relationship quality, from the perception of both daughters and mothers, was associated with preadolescent girls’ body image. The relationship between mother–daughter relationship quality and daughters’ body image was examined in 152 girls (ages 8–12) and their mothers. Mothers and daughters primarily identified as non-Hispanic white or Hispanic. Hierarchical linear regression analyses indicated that daughters’ perception of mother–daughter relationship quality was associated with daughters’ body esteem and body dissatisfaction, adding a small, but significant, amount of variance above the larger effect of child z-BMI and age. In contrast, maternal perception of mother–daughter relationship quality was not associated with any child body image measures. Young girls who perceived their relationships with their mothers more positively had healthier body images. Although effect sizes were relatively small and the cross-sectional design precludes conclusions regarding causality, these results support the “interactive” model of body image development whereby the characteristics of the mother–daughter relationship (as perceived by the daughter) are related to body image. Our findings support the notion that daughters’ perceptions of strong mother–daughter relationships are associated with healthy child body image, and fall in line with family-based prevention efforts that attempt to enhance parent–child relationships.     

Anticipated Regret and Time Perspective: Changing Sexual Risk-taking Behavior

In two studies we test the effects of anticipated affective reactions such as regret on behavioral expectations and behavior. These effects were examined in the context of sexual risk-taking behavior. More specifically, we tested the impact of the anticipated feelings associated with unsafe sex on sexual risk-taking behavior. We assumed a difference between the feelingsabout unsafe sex and the feelings people anticipate to haveafter this behavior. Two studies tested the hypothesis that respondents who are induced to focus on their anticipated, post-behavioral feelings are more likely to report negative feelings such as regret and to adopt safer sexual practices than respondents who are asked to focus on their feelings about the behavior itself. Study 1 shows that anticipated feelings after unsafe sex were more negative than feelings about the behavioral act itself, and that respondents who were asked to consider these anticipated feelings expressed stronger expectations to reduce their risk in future interactions. Thus, asking respondents to take a wider time perspective, and to consider the feelings they would haveafter having had unsafe sex, resulted in ‘safer’ behavioral expectations. Study 2 replicates the findings of Study 1, and also yielded a reliable effect of the time perspective manipulation on actual, self-reported behavior. Respondents who were asked to report on their anticipated feelings after unsafe sex showed less risky behavior in the five months following the experiment than the remaining respondents. Thus, the induced focus on post-behavioral emotions increased the likelihood of preventive behavior. Implications of these findings for behavioral intervention programs are discussed.     

Doing good,feeling good: Values and the self 's moral center

Rarely do social psychological treatments of the self highlight its moral dimension. We expect people with prosocial values to feel better about themselves when enacting such values. Social identities situate individuals within social groups and wider social structures; successfully enacting important identities increases feelings of self-esteem. This paper looks at individual differences and demonstrates that enacting a social identity (volunteering) contributes more to feelings of self-esteem for those individuals whose values align with that identity. Volunteering may increase self-esteem in general; but for those who claim the identity and hold especially prosocial values, volunteering becomes an important route toward positive self-evaluation.     

Maternal self‐perceptions and reactions to infant crying among intrusive and withdrawn depressed mothers

This study compared intrusive (N =15) and withdrawn (N = 10) mothers' ratings of their own interaction styles with their infants and the behaviors of videotaped models of intrusive and withdrawn mothers. Withdrawn mothers rated themselves as less withdrawn than the model withdrawn mother. Intrusive mothers viewed themselves as more intrusive than the model intrusive mother. Both groups viewed their own infants as more outgoing than the infants of the model intrusive and withdrawn mothers. The withdrawn mothers reported feeling more distressed when they observed an infant (of an intrusive or withdrawn mother) crying, suggesting that they feel more empathy than the intrusive mothers. © 2001 Michigan Association for Infant Mental Health.     

Demeter's Compromise: Separation,Loss, and Reconnection in Mothers with Daughters Entering Adulthood

Drawing on contemporary theory of female development that focuses on the dynamics of the mother/daughter relationship regarding issues of separation and individuation, this article examines the treatment of a middle aged mother as she navigates her way through her daughter's adolescence and early adulthood. Psychoanalytic object relations, psychoanalytic relational theory, and feminist theory serve to frame an understanding of the case material in terms of developmental challenges that are uniquely female. Issues around mother/daughter attachment, separation, competition, conflict, and love are explored in the relationships between the patient and her mother, the patient and her daughter, and the patient and the therapist. The therapist's countertransference, intensified by her relationships with her own mother and daughter, suggests the possibility of both pitfalls and opportunities in the treatment. The article attempts to address a gap in psychoanalytic developmental theory, which offers little understanding of the challenges for women in midlife.     

Observers' reaction to parent-child intimacy

A study was carried out to examine how people react to acts of intimacy between parent and child. Based on an extensive series of studies reported in 1998 by Reis who found less intimate interactions between two men who are friends than between men or women or between two women who are friends, it was reasoned that intimacy between two males may violate norms of our culture, so it was predicted that people would react less favorably to intimacy between father and son than to intimacy between father and daughter, mother and daughter, or mother and son. Men (n = 19) and women (n=26), most of whom were 18-24 years of age, read versions of a mother or father having an intimate interaction (lap-sit, hair-stroke, hug/kiss) with an 11-yr.-old daughter or son and then rated the act on a 7-point scale from good to bad. As predicted, the undergraduates rated intimate interactions between father and son less favorably than those between father and daughter, mother and daughter, and mother and son.     

Being there,experiencing and creating space for dialogue: about working with children in family therapy

While most authors agree that it is important to mobilize the active participation of children in the family therapy session, a lot of family therapists exclude children from participating because they do not feel comfortable with children. Teaching family therapists to feel more comfortable around children is a good idea, but perhaps it is not enough. In this article, the author reflects on the complexity of the issue of the comfort of the therapist in a session with children and families. In the discussion of the case story of Elly and her mother, practitioners are reminded that the therapist's experiencing in the session can help her to understand something of what goes on in the families she is working with.     

Parental Influences on Young Women’s Certainty about Their Career Aspirations

Identity control theory (Kerpelman, Pittman, & Lamke, Journal of Adolescent Research, 12: 325–346, 1997) and the literature on possible selves (Markus & Nurius, American Psychologist, 41: 954–969, 1986) and family influences on adolescents’ vocational choices (e.g., Otto, Journal of Career Development, 27: 111–117, 2000; Whiston & Keller, The Counseling Psychologist, 32: 493–568, 2004) were used to guide this study of young women’s career aspirations. How mother–daughter and father–daughter relationships were associated with young women’s certainty about their anticipated future careers was addressed with data from 304 female undergraduates. Findings indicated that parent–daughter connectedness predicted the young women’s anticipated distress, as well as their willingness to change to fit parental views should their parents disagree with their career aspirations. In addition, anticipated distress mediated associations between willingness to change and connectedness with parents, and between willingness to change and father–daughter career discussions. Discussing career goals with mother increased mother’s influence, but decreased father’s influence, on daughter’s career certainty under conditions of father–daughter disagreement about career choice. The ability to separate her own feelings from those of her father was particularly important in reducing the daughter’s willingness to change her career goals to fit maternal or paternal expectations. Collectively, these findings offer additional insights about the role of parent–adolescent relationships in understanding young women’s career aspirations and note the importance of considering the distinct influences of mothers and fathers on their daughters’ career goals and plans.     

Temporal dynamics of guilt: changes in the role of interpersonal and intrapsychic factors

Baumeister, Stillwell and Heatherton (1994) argue that guilt serves primarily interpersonal functions and take issue with more traditional intrapsychic accounts of guilty feelings, in which causality, responsibility, and blame are emphasized. We examined the validity of these claims by asking 198 college students to imagine that they destroyed the valued property of either their best friend or mother, under each of three conditions of causal responsibility (accidental, foreseeable, unjustifiably intended). They then rated the reactions they anticipated from the victim (anger, disappointment; change in impression of the perpetrator), their perceived blameworthiness, aspects of causality, and how guilty they would feel immediately after perpetrating the harm as well as an entire day later. Imagined guilt was curvilinearly related to responsibility at time 1, but linearly at time 2. Results suggest that people only weigh interpersonal concerns more heavily after time has elapsed, but that both factors integrally affect feelings of guilt. © 1997 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

The role of self-evaluation and envy in schadenfreude

In this article we address why and when people feel schadenfreude (pleasure at the misfortunes of others) in both interpersonal and intergroup contexts. Using findings from our own research programmes we show that schadenfreude is intensified when people are chronically or momentarily threatened in their self-worth, whereas it is attenuated when their self-evaluation is boosted; that malicious envy, but not benign envy, intensifies pleasure at the misfortunes of others; that these emotional responses are manifested in intergroup contexts via the same mechanisms; and that mere stereotypes, in the absence of any interaction or overt competition, are sufficient to elicit schadenfreude via such mechanisms. Together, these findings suggest that self-evaluation and envy both play an important role in evoking schadenfreude; people feel pleasure at the misfortunes of others when these misfortunes provide them with social comparisons that enhance their feelings of self-worth or remove the basis for painful feelings of envy.