Sex, shame and the transcendent function: the function of fantasy in self development

This paper explores a developmental approach to the sense of self-agency and to its influence on conscious and unconscious fantasy. I suggest that the emerging sense of self-agency offers an over-arching framework for our understanding of the nature and function of fantasy. In this context, intrusive and compulsive sexual fantasies which a person experiences as perverted and shameful, can be seen to serve differing psychic purposes, depending on the level of self-agency which is predominant. The fantasies can serve both as warning signals of the dangers of relationship and as opportunities for the mind to reflect on its own processes. Differing psychodynamic theories of fantasy are examined in terms of the developmental sense of self-agency that they represent.     

The supposed shame of aging female bodies and the saving grace of transience

Where does the supposed shame of older women's bodies come from? In this essay, I suggest that such shame is not a natural response to aging; rather, it is a culturally conditioned reaction to the patriarchal fantasy of female physical perfection. While certain norms and narratives within Christianity tacitly encourage women to pursue this fantasy, there are also resources within this tradition that can help us challenge the stigma assigned to older female flesh and affirm the goodness of bodies that have lived a long time. Simultaneously, aging itself can provide a lens for fruitfully rethinking some central Christian ideas.     

The shame of failure: examining the link between fear of failure and shame

The present research was designed to examine hypotheses derived from the proposition that shame is the core of fear of failure. Study 1 was conducted in a naturalistic setting and demonstrated that individuals high in fear of failure reported greater shame upon a perceived failure experience than those low in fear of failure. These findings were obtained controlling for other negative emotions. Study 2 was conducted in a controlled laboratory setting and demonstrated that high fear of failure individuals reported greater shame, overgeneralization, and closeness to their mother (controlling for baseline levels of these variables) than those low in fear of failure. Those high in fear of failure also reported that they would be less likely to tell their mother and father about their failure experience and would be more likely to tell their mother and father about their success experience. The implications of these findings for acquiring a deeper understanding of fear of failure are discussed.     

Revision of SKED: Needs and desires

Modifications are suggested for Snapper’s SKED system.     

Primary shame,mortal wound and tragic circularity: Some new reflections on shame and shame conflicts

Invited to contribute some thoughts on recent developments in psychoanalytic thinking about shame, the author starts off with Aristotle's prescient analysis of shame and then focuses on accumulating experiences in the psychoanalytic treatment of patients with severe neuroses, in particular the close relationship of severe traumatization and chronic states of shame, and how this is reflected in shelfdestructive repetitions. Reminiscent of what we know from tragedy and the tragic dimension of human existence, this repetition compulsion shows a built‐in circularity. These circular dynamics have at their core struggles with deep woundedness that can variably be conceived of as primary pain, primary shame and primary anxiety. Consequently, throughout the experiences with these patients goes the absoluteness both of their conscience and of their ideal, what we know as the “archaic superego:”     

The shame of existing: An extreme form of shame

This paper presents ‘the shame of existing’ as a form of shame that is deeper and more extensive than those customarily encountered. ‘The shame of existing’ is defined as shame about existing as we are and especially at the fact that we are. It is accompanied by merciless and total rejection of the subject's self and by feelings of extreme worthlessness and inferiority coupled with the all‐pervasive conviction that it would be better not to exist. On the basis of clinical material, consideration is given to the specific transference and countertransference aspects of analyses in which the shame of existing constitutes an important part of the patient's pathology. Disturbance of handling and holding by the primary objects right from birth is suggested as the earliest developmental basis of the shame of existing. This disturbance is attributed to hate and rejection of the infant by the primary objects and to the infant's not being touched emotionally and physically and not having its right to exist acknowledged. The paper begins with an introduction to shame as an affect and as a concept in psychoanalytic theory.     

Sex in the City: The ambiguity of female mating strategies

Abstract

The purpose of this paper is to discuss the limitations of evolutionary explanations of female mating strategies, and to present an alternative theory that accounts for the ambiguity of mating strategies throughout a woman's life. While mating strategies are considered to be discrete entities, it is clear that women's decision making in everyday life is based on mutually fused, ambiguous courses of actions. The current perspective addresses the commonality of female mating experiences while highlighting the uniqueness of each woman's mating strategy and outlines a multi-level perspective on strategies of women's reproductive decision making.     

Ambivalent desires and the problem with reduction

Ambivalence is most naturally characterized as a case of conflicting desires. In most cases, an agent’s intrinsic desires conflict contingently: there is some possible world in which both desires would be satisfied. This paper argues, though, that there are cases in which intrinsic desires necessarily conflict—i.e., the desires are not jointly satisfiable in any possible world. Desiring a challenge for its own sake is a paradigm case of such a desire. Ambivalence of this sort in an agent’s desires creates special problems for the project of reducing all facts about an agent’s desires to facts about his or her preferences over options. If this reductive project fails, there is reason to suspect that the Decision Theory cannot give us a complete theory of Humean rationality.     

Distinguishing intentions from desires: Contributions of the frontal and parietal lobes

The ability to represent desires and intentions as two distinct mental states was investigated in patients with parietal (N = 8) and frontal (N = 6) lesions and in age-matched controls (N = 7). A task was used where the satisfaction of the desire and the fulfilment of the intention did not co-vary and were manipulated in a 2 × 2 set. In two experiments we show that lesions to the frontal lobe may impair the ability to deal with desires when their outcome is not congruent with that of the intention, and that parietal damage – especially if it encompasses the left temporo-parietal junction – may cause severe difficulties in the processing of both desires and intentions. The implications of the results for the neuropsychological and the developmental literature are discussed.     

Reclaiming the feeling of shame

The author resorts to Bleger's conception of regression to ambiguity in order to achieve an understanding of patients who have suffered from extreme situations such as torture, disappearance, concentration camp. The regression to ambiguity that helped these patients to survive and that elicits extreme feelings of shame must be gradually diminished so that older intact ego components as well as the original feelings of shame can be reclaimed.