Psychotherapy: Close encounters of the intimate kind

The therapeutic relation is a unique and special kind of human interaction, an intimate relationship which involves the whole of two human beings, but which is confined to a certain place, time and circumstance. The intimacy that develops between therapist and patient within the context of psychotherapy can be compared to other close and intimate human interactions, but it differs from other human encounters in numerous respects, especially in regard to the roles of the participants.The therapist-patient relationship is examined across various therapeutic techniques and theoretical models, with focus on the intimacy that may develop within the context of therapy, and contrasting it with other human intimate contacts. The roles of the therapist and the patient in developing and maintaining this intimacy, as well as its potential for both contributing to personal growth and to termination of the relationship, are reviewed. An issue that may usually be a natural extension of intimacy, sexual involvement between intimate partners, is explored with reference to the special nature of the therapeutic relationship.Based on a paper presented at the 37th annual convention of the Ontario Psychological Association, February 9, 1984; Toronto, Ontario.     

Babytalk as a communication of intimate attachment: An initial study in adult romances and friendships

Babytalk is a speech register that has been studied most extensively as it is spoken by mothers to infants, but without attention to its possible role in emotional bonding. We suggest that babytalk plays such a role–that it expresses and facilitates intimate psychological connection, and in a variety of relationships. We first overview relevant literature to show that an association between babytalk and intimate attachment makes sense. Then we report a questionnaire study, which is the first to explore this association as well as the first empirical documentation that babytalk occurs in adult romances and friendships. Self-reported features and examples of the speech register (as spoken in a particular romance) verified it as babytalk. Individuals who had babytalked to friends or romantic partners tended to be more secure and less avoidant with regard to attachments in general. Within a particular romantic relationship, indicators of intimacy and attachment accounted for about 22% of the variance in babytalk frequency. Partner's babytalking was the strongest predictor, accounting for about 42% of the variance. Communication intentions accompanying babytalk paralleled the hallmarks of attachment, especially affection and play. These and other results suggest that babytalk functions in the process of intimate personal connection.     

Boarding school: the trauma of the 'privileged' child

Sending young children to boarding school may be considered a particularly British form of child abuse and social control. The trauma of the rupture with home may be followed by other ordeals such as emotional deprivation and, in extreme cases, physical and sexual abuse. The taboo on expressing emotion, which is common in such institutions, may lead to an encapsulation of the self. Consequently, the needs of the distressed child/self remain active, but unconscious, within the adult. This maybe disguised by an armoured, and very often socially successful, persona. The psychological interplay, between these two facets of the personality, may be detrimental to intimate relationships. In clinical practice the emotional conflict between a desire for intimacy and anticipated exile comes to the fore. Three examples demonstrate how within the transference this may lead to a dependent and erotic atmosphere, which abruptly changes to sever all connection. Changes in the frame, breaks in analysis, and confessions of emotional need are all points at which vigilance is required if such disturbance in analysis is not to end in its abrupt termination.     

From intersubjectivity to subjectivity: the transformative roles of emotional intimacy and imitation

How is the transition between intersubjectivity and subjectivity accomplished? While many developmental theorists have argued that social interaction gives rise to individualistic capacities (e.g. representation, language, consciousness), relatively few theorists have attempted to identify the precise mechanisms that might be responsible for this transformation. The present paper addresses this gap by drawing attention to the central role played by emotional intimacy. It is argued that subjectivity arises out of intimate engagement with others, and particular attention is given to the role of imitation in fostering such intimacy. While the primary focus is on infant development, links are made to work with atypical populations because they offer valuable insights into the developmental processes under consideration here. The ultimate aim of the paper is to demonstrate that by recognizing the emotional intimacy inherent within adult–infant interactions, new solutions are offered to theoretical problems that developmental psychology continues to face in accounting for the origins of subjectivity. Copyright © 2006 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

The temporality of intimacy: Promise,world, and death

This paper explores the temporal character of intimacy. I begin by examining the significance of “promise” and “habit” in intimate relationships. These themes are developed through the work of M. Merleau-Ponty and J.H. van den Berg to reveal the embedded or en-worlded character of intimacy. These analyses help to articulate and to problematize the sense we often have of “established” relationships as possessing a fixed, already determined character. The final section discusses the issues of intimacy that surround the situation of dying. Specifically, it analyses (1) ways in which the issue in death is the stripping away of one's world, but also ways in which the meaning of one's death is still something futural, and thus “to be shaped”; and, (2) ways in which the shaping of this meaning with intimate others is significant both for the one manifestly dying and for those whose death seems distant.     

Intimacies: An Integrative Multicultural Framework for Couple Therapy

Implicitly or explicitly, our ideas about intimacy are the most fundamental notions giving direction to the process of couple therapy. Yet, as a field, we have spent little time conceptualizing intimacy and even less time considering the diversity of priorities and meanings couples bring to our offices. In Part One, Varieties of Intimacy, I describe a kaleidoscope of contexts—socio‐historical, cultural, gender, life cycle, and developmental—that inform our ideas and expectations for intimacy in couples’ relationships. I highlight different spheres in which intimacy may take place such as the emotional, sexual, intellectual, or familial. I propose a starting point in which the therapist, in a collaborative manner, helps the partners articulate their yearnings and priorities in order to negotiate a shared vision. In Part Two, Conceptualizing Intimacy, I suggest an experiential definition that gives room for each partner's subjective meanings, yet consider diverse relational processes that may need to be addressed for a resilient ebb and flow of intimate experiences. In Part Three , Sexual Intimacy, I outline conditions in which sex is more likely to be experienced as intimate rather than nonintimate. Finally, in Part Four, I describe Therapeutic Principles to guide the therapist in taking couples from reactivity to dialogue to negotiations of intimacy. The integrative framework proposed here discourages monolithic a priori notions of intimacy and highlights instead: nuanced meanings, relational processes to be considered differentially, present and past emotional blocks, and a flexible clinical approach to foster conditions for the creation and resilience of intimate experiences.     

Daily experiences of intimacy: A study of couples

The present study examined people's working definitions of intimacy, which emerge through daily interactions that are perceived as intimate by the participant. We proposed that working definitions should be reflected in a set of interaction characteristics that prompt relationship partners to label their interaction as intimate. Participants were 113 cohabiting couples who completed questionnaires and kept diaries of their interactions for 1 week. Interaction characteristics explaining perceived intimacy were interaction pleasantness, disclosure of private information, the expression of positive feelings, the perception of being understood by one's partner, and the disclosure of emotion. Further, more satisfied couples perceived their interactions as more intimate and showed stronger associations between interaction intimacy and partner disclosure than did less satisfied couples. Findings indicated that couple characteristics are more salient than person characteristics as predictors of intimacy in interactions. The deepest need of man, then, is the need to overcome his separate‐ness, to leave the prison of his aloneness. The absolute failure to achieve this aim means insanity, because the panic of complete isolation can be overcome only by such a radical withdrawal from the world outside that the feeling of separation disappears–because the world outside, from which one is separated, has disappeared.     

British women's experiences of drinking alcohol: Dynamics of emotional proximity and distance

Research on alcohol consumption suggests that friendship and peer relations are highly influential and have a decisive impact on drinking behaviours. Further, that women's friendships appear to be characterised by emotional disclosure and ‘knowing’ one another. In this paper I draw on debates around emotional intimacy, ideas of ‘closeness’ and ‘distance’ to explore how this might work when young women go out and drink alcohol. Drawing on in-depth interviews with 25 British undergraduate female students aged 18–25, this research suggests that one of the compelling appeals of alcohol is that it creates a ‘space of suspension’, whereby feelings of being both close and distant (intimate proximity) coexist, often for strategic reasons associated with security. Two themes emerged from the data: firstly that the young women had a preference for paradoxically maintaining ‘distance’ alongside ‘closeness’ with friends, and secondly, that contingencies of safety and vulnerability promoted the need for co-operation to manage risk in the night-time economy. These themes permeated relationships and became a significant dynamic in group behaviour creating a tension between functionality and friendship. This paper contributes to a growing body of work that suggests intimacy and women's friendships are complex: traditional conceptions about young women seeking intimate and close friendships need revaluating to take into consideration how ‘distance’ within groups is both desirable and negotiated, and may be facilitated through the drinking of alcohol.     

Low intimacy as a mediator between depression and clinic couple relationship satisfaction

This study examined low intimacy as a mediator between partners' depression symptoms and low relationship satisfaction in a sample of 82 heterosexual couples who sought therapy at an outpatient clinic. Both the amount of intimate behavior that partners enact and the level of pleasure they experience from each other's intimate acts were assessed. Using an actor–partner interdependence model approach, path model analysis simultaneously included both partners' scores on measures of depression, intimate behavior, pleasure from partner's intimate behavior, and relationship satisfaction. Overall, female depression symptoms had a greater impact than male depression symptoms on the couple relationship. Male depression had little effect on intimacy, whereas the female partner's depression affected her pleasure from the male's intimate behavior and both partners' enactment of intimate behavior. The results indicate the importance of examining reciprocal influences between partners' functioning to understand and treat intimacy problems.     

Gradients of attraction as a function of the fit between social setting and stimulus person characteristics: Studies of the differentiation of attitude

Two experiments compared three alternative hypotheses concerning differences in attraction to a person across interaction settings: A compartmentalization hypothesis assumes that a person's (A's) intimate and nonintimate characteristics only affect attraction to him in intimate and nonintimate interactions, respectively, and that there is no generalization of attraction across levels of intimacy. An intimacy dominance hypothesis assumes that a person's intimacy-related characteristics determine attraction to him at all levels of interaction. Finally, an intimacy threshold hypothesis assumes that a person's intimacy-related characteristics become increasingly relevant to attraction as the intimacy of interaction increases, but that these characteristics need not influence attraction at nonintimate levels of interaction. Experiment 1 supported the compartmentalization hypothesis. Attraction to a formal teacher decreased as the intimacy of the anticipated setting increased, while attraction to an informal teacher increased with increasing setting intimacy. In Experiment 2, agreement on intimate topics promoted liking for a peer while no effect was found for agreement on superficial topics. This effect only emerged for intimate interaction settings, supporting the intimacy threshold hypothesis. High positive correlations between distance preference and attraction were obtained in Experiment 1, while analogous data obtained in Experiment 2 had less clear implications.     

Chiasm and hyperdialectic: re-conceptualizing sensory deprivation in infancy

The literature on sensory processing disorders in institutionalized infants highlights the impact of early deprivation on infant perception. Through a Merleau-Pontian, hyperdialectic analysis of the extraordinary development of infant perception under circumstances of severe deprivation the intimate link between environmental affordances and perceptual systems becomes apparent. This paper offers an updated reading of Merleau-Ponty’s late work as a philosophy of systems (“structures”, “forms”, “gestalts”, as he called them) and outlines some fertile philosophical concepts and methods developed by Merleau-Ponty in The visible and the Invisible. Merleau-Ponty’s concept of the chiasm, understood from a systems perspective, and his method of the hyperdialectic are applied in a child case study of an infant who suffered severe neglect in a Romanian orphanage.     

Perceived intimacy of expressed emotion

Research on norms for emotional expression and self-disclosure provided the basis for two hypotheses concerning the perceived intimacy of emotional self-disclosure. The first hypothesis was that the perceived intimacy of negative emotional disclosure would be greater than that of positive emotional disclosure; the second was that disclosures of more intense emotional states would be perceived as more intimate than disclosures of less intense emotional states for both negative and positive disclosures. Both hypotheses received support when male students in Canada rated the perceived intimacy of self-disclosures that were equated for topic and that covered a comprehensive sample of emotions and a range of emotional intensities. The effects were observed across all the topics of disclosure examined.     

Sander’s Life Work,on Mother-Infant Vitality and the Emerging Person

ABSTRACT

In the 1960s, partly a result of the availability of television for micro-analysis of life in spontaneous communication with infants, there was a revolution in the scientific understanding of how the human mind grows. The inquisitive and responsive way a healthy baby moves shows that humans are born for intimate sharing of interests and feelings that are essential for acquiring cultural habits and understanding, including language. A newborn infant was found able to provoke and imitate emotional expressions and responses of another person, and an affectionate mother is ready to make her special contribution to joyful episodes of dialogue with rhythms and emotions that confirm the baby’s interest and eagerness to participate. A leader in this work was the psychoanalyst and neonatologist Louis Sander. His sensitive support and observation of how mothers with different personalities and degrees of self-confidence respond to a young baby’s expressions of need for companionship proved their health is adapted to share and support the expression and growth of impulses for human living.     

Predicting Marital Adjustment from Young Adults’ Initial Levels and Changes in Emotional Intimacy over Time: A 25-Year Longitudinal Study

Emotional intimacy has long been known to influence marital adjustment. However, little is known about whether emotional intimacy experienced and developed during early adulthood predicts marital adjustment at a later time. Using longitudinal data from a sample of recent university graduates (N = 144) at five data points over a period of 25 years, it was found that higher levels of earlier emotional intimacy with a closest other and change in emotional intimacy over the first 8 years predicted Wave 5 marital adjustment. On average, women reported greater emotional intimacy than men at Wave 1. Neither change in marital status nor gender moderated the associations between emotional intimacy intercept and slope with marital adjustment at Wave 5. These as well as cluster analytic findings are discussed in light of Erikson’s developmental theory and applied to the idea that emotional intimacy may be a skill that can be developed and potentially modified.     

A Multifaceted and Dyadic Examination of Intimate Relationship Quality during Pregnancy: Implications for Global Relationship Satisfaction

Understanding how couples navigate and negotiate the challenges and demands of pregnancy has important implications for family health. The aim of this study was to apply a multidimensional model of intimate relationship quality in a sample of 154 pregnant, cohabitating couples, to investigate the association between a range of intimate relationship processes (i.e., emotional intimacy, conflict management, sexual quality, received respect and acceptance, and received support) and the global relationship satisfaction of each partner. Semistructured clinical interviews were administered to each partner assessing multiple qualities of the relationship, and participants completed home surveys of global relationship satisfaction each day for 14 days. Results demonstrated that multiple dimensions of the intimate relationship were associated with greater relationship satisfaction. Some processes (e.g., degree of emotional intimacy and closeness, conflict management) had larger effects on relationship satisfaction than others (e.g., quality of the sexual relationship). Furthermore, some processes were more important for maternal than paternal satisfaction (e.g., emotional intimacy, support, respect). Finally, results varied, to some degree, as a function of whether parents were transitioning to parenthood for the first time. We discuss the implications of adopting a multidimensional approach to studying the specific relationship processes associated with global relationship satisfaction and present implications for clinicians working with couples navigating the transition into parenthood.     

Differentiating the effects of enacted parental support on adolescent adjustment in Taiwan: Moderating role of relationship intimacy

The moderating effect of relationship intimacy on the relation between enacted parental support and adolescent adjustment was examined. Using a pretest-posttest design, we studied 213 Taiwanese parent-adolescent dyads in which the adolescents were facing a major stressful event, the final school examinations. Analyses showed a significant cross-over interaction of provided parental support and relationship intimacy on change in emotional anxiety. Parental support predicted reduced anxiety when adolescent's perceived relationship with parents was intimate, and increased anxiety when it was distant. Possible underlying mediators that account for the moderating effect are discussed.     

Feminist Therapy as a Path to Friendship with Women

While many feminist therapists have found that their personal experiences of friendship have given them an experiential base from which to develop their work, some feminist therapists have had alternative journeys through connections with women. This article explores how the author transformed her childhood and adolescent experiences of relational aggression into a deepened understanding of the value and importance of relationships between women. The contributions of misogyny and sexism to relational aggression among girls and women, and their enduring effects on all women's relationships to other women is explored. Finally, the author describes her intimate e-epistolary friendship with two other women, and considers how the medium of email and other forms of electronic communication may facilitate emotional intimacy for women who have experienced relational aggression with other women.     

Personal Inadequacy and Intimacy Predictors of Men's Hostility Toward Women

In this study we examined social/personality and intimacy predictors of men's hostility toward women (HTW). The study was framed in terms of a projection model that suggests that men's feelings of inadequacy contribute to hostility toward women. The sample consisted of 172 college men. The strongest attitudinal predictors were measures of locus of control. These data support the feminist analysis of sexual violence as an issue of power and lend support to the proposed projection model in terms of perceived powerlessness. In addition, based on the projection model, intimacy predictors for best male friend and female romantic partner were examined. The strongest correlate of men's HTW was intellectual intimacy, which conceptually is more related to the idea of an egalitarian relationship than other aspects of intimacy and may be most inhibited in men who are hostile toward women's intimate relationships.