Past and present,day by day: Communication with former romantic partners,relationship-contingent self-esteem,and current relationship outcomes

In an effort to illuminate factors delineating when communication with former romantic partners can be beneficial versus detrimental, this work examines how communication affects both the current and former relationships, and whether these associations vary as a function of one’s self-worth being tied to the relationship (i.e., relationship-contingent self-esteem, RCSE). Over three weeks, undergraduates in relationships who regularly communicated with a former partner (N = 46) completed nightly measures of former partner communication and satisfaction with current and former relationships. Results indicated that among those higher in RCSE, communication with former partners undermined current relationship satisfaction and bolstered former relationship satisfaction, patterns not evident among those lower in RCSE. For some, communication with former partners can be problematic for the current relationship.     

How sweet it is to be loved by you: the role of perceived regard in the terror management of close relationships

Drawing from terror management theory, the present research examined whether people turn to close relationships to manage the awareness of mortality because they serve as a source of perceived regard. Studies 1 and 2 demonstrated that mortality salience (MS) leads people to exaggerate how positively their romantic partners see them and demonstrated that people are more committed to their partners to the extent that their romantic partners serve as a source of perceived regard after MS (Study 3). Study 4 revealed that activating thoughts of perceived regard from a partner in response to MS reduced death-thought accessibility. Studies 5 and 6 demonstrated that MS led high relationship contingent self-esteem individuals to exaggerate perceived regard from a partner, and this heightened regard led to greater commitment to one's partner. Study 7 examined attachment style differences and found that after MS, anxious individuals exaggerated how positively their parents see them, whereas secure individuals exaggerated how positively their romantic partners see them. Together, the present results suggest that perceptions of regard play an important role in why people pursue close relationships in the face of existential concerns.     

Sociosexuality and Romantic Partner Choice

ABSTRACT In three studies, we explored how individual differences in sociosexual orientation systematically relate to the types of attributes people prefer in romantic partners. In Investigation 1, individuals rated the importance of 15 partner attributes. Two factors emerged: personal/parenting qualities and attractiveness/social visibility. Individuals who possessed a restricted sociosexual orientation rated attributes that loaded highly on the former factor as being more important than those that loaded highly on the second one, whereas the reverse was true for unrestricted individuals. In Investigation 2, individuals evaluated two prospective romantic partners, one who was described as highly attractive and socially visible but less desirable in terms of personal/parenting qualities and one who had the opposite set of attributes. Unrestricted individuals tended to select the former partner, whereas restricted individuals chose the latter one. Investigation 3 examined the attributes actually possessed by their romantic partners. Unrestricted individuals were dating partners who were more socially visible and attractive, whereas restricted individuals were dating partners who were more responsible, faithful/loyal, and affectionate. Results are discussed in terms of an evolutionary model that links sociosexuality to mate selection.     

Saving graces: Impact of partner support and maternal attachment on partner attachments in an individualistic and a collectivist context

The current study investigated the relationships between current attachment to mother and attachment to romantic partners, and the role of current partner support and culture as moderators of that relationship. University students who were currently in a romantic relationship were recruited from Hong Kong and USA, and completed measures on attachment styles and partner support. Results showed that maternal attachment anxiety was correlated with romantic attachment anxiety; maternal attachment avoidance was correlated with romantic attachment avoidance, but this linkage varied by level of current partner support. Romantic attachment avoidance was also associated with current partner support, but this linkage was stronger for HK Chinese than for Americans. These results are discussed in terms of how interpersonal and personality factors promoted by culture can affect the developmental course of romantic relationships.     

Putting the brakes on aggression toward a romantic partner: the inhibitory influence of relationship commitment

Why do people behave aggressively toward romantic partners, and what can put the brakes on this aggression? Provocation robustly predicts aggression in both intimate and nonintimate relationships. Four methodologically diverse studies tested the hypothesis that provocation severity and relationship commitment interact to predict aggression toward one's romantic partner, with the aggression-promoting effects of provocation diminishing as relationship commitment increases. Across all four studies, commitment to one's romantic relationship inhibited aggression toward one's partner when individuals were severely (but not mildly) provoked. Study 4 tested the hypothesis that this Partner Provocation × Commitment interaction effect would be strong among individuals high in dispositional tendencies toward retaliation but weak (perhaps even nonexistent) among individuals low in such tendencies. Discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding instigating, impelling, and inhibiting processes in the perpetration of aggression toward intimate partners.     

The reciprocal cycle of self‐concealment and trust in romantic relationships

We propose that perceived partner concealment, self‐concealment from one's partner (i.e., keeping secrets from one's partner), and trust in one's partner form a reciprocal cycle in romantic relationships. In Study 1, participants in a romantic relationship (N = 94) completed a two‐time point survey within a span of 8 to 10 weeks. Results revealed that perceived partner concealment was associated with a loss of trust in partner, and low trust in partner was associated with an increase in self‐concealment from one's partner. Furthermore, the association between perceived partner concealment and self‐concealment from one's partner was mediated by trust. In Study 2, couples (N = 50) completed daily records for 14 consecutive days. Multilevel analyses indicated that on the days the individuals reported more self‐concealment, their partners reported lower trust in them. Moreover, on the days the partners reported lower trust, the partners also reported higher self‐concealment. These findings suggest that self‐concealment in romantic relationships can create a reciprocal cycle that involves loss of trust and more self‐concealment between partners, which would slowly deteriorate the relationship well‐being. Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Self-presentation as a function of perceived closeness and trust with romantic partners,friends, and acquaintances

ABSTRACT

Self-presentation represents behaviors used in establishing an identity with others; such behaviors may differ across various interpersonal relationships. The current article presents two studies examining differences in self-presentation to acquaintances, friends, and romantic partners among college students in relationships. Study 1 was an experiment, and Study 2 utilized a within-subject design. Results showed that individuals engaged in more self-presentation in more established types of relationships. Additionally, both closeness and trust served as moderators, such that those lower in closeness/trust reported more self-presentation in more established types of relationships than in less established types of relationships. At higher levels of closeness/trust, the results were somewhat inconsistent, with Study 1 finding no differences between relationship types and Study 2 finding more self-presentation to romantic partners than to friends and acquaintances. These results are among the first to suggest that individuals engage in differing levels of self-presentation, depending on the type of relationship and the extent to which they feel close to and trust the person.     

Shifting toward cooperative tendencies and forgiveness: How partner‐focused prayer transforms motivation

Several studies tested whether partner‐focused prayer shifts individuals toward cooperative tendencies and forgiveness. In Studies 1 and 2, participants who prayed more frequently for their partner were rated by objective coders as less vengeful. Study 3 showed that, compared to partners of targets in the positive partner thought condition, the romantic partners of targets assigned to pray reported a positive change in their partner's forgiveness. In Study 4, participants who prayed following a partner's “hurtful behavior” were more cooperative with their partners in a mixed‐motive game compared to participants who engaged in positive thoughts about their partner. In Study 5, participants who prayed for a close relationship partner reported higher levels of cooperative tendencies and forgiveness.     

Self-determined self-other overlap: Interacting effects on partners’ perceptions of support and well-being in close relationships

Self-other overlap, an important dimension of interpersonal closeness, is linked to positive interpersonal and well-being outcomes in relationships with romantic partners and friends. Three studies applied principles from self-determination theory to examine whether individual differences in self-determined motivation moderate the effects of higher self-other overlap on partner outcomes. Studies were cross-sectional and longitudinal, and examined personality and relationship-specific self-determination in friends (Study 1) and romantic partners (all studies); all were comprised of dyads to examine partner effects. Results suggested that as self-determined individuals reported greater self-other overlap, their partners also reported receiving more positive motivational support as well as enhanced commitment. On the other hand, when individuals were low in self-determination, partners did not benefit from greater self-other overlap.     

“Date nights” take two: The maintenance function of shared relationship activities

One‐hundred and ninety‐six individuals (Study 1) and 83 couples (Study 2) reported on their shared relationship activities—activities that individuals engage in with their partner to facilitate closeness in their romantic relationships. Couples also reported on the quality of their shared activities and relationships 3 months later (Study 2). Results indicated that shared activities help to sustain relationships, and do so beyond threat‐based maintenance strategies (i.e., accommodation). Activities that were satisfying, stress‐free, and increased closeness predicted greater relationship quality concurrently and longitudinally. However, positive activity and relationship outcomes depended on the degree to which partners were dedicated to the activity, indicating that shared activities sustain relationship quality only when partners are responsive and want to share relationship activities.     

The influence of personal,relational, and contextual factors on forgiveness communication following transgressions

The way that individuals adapt to stress in their romantic relationships plays a major role in determining relational satisfaction. This study used the Vulnerability‐Stress‐Adaptation Model as a framework to examine how individuals adapt to a relational transgression in their romantic relationships. This study examined individuals' attachment dimensions and perceived relational equity as factors that influenced how they used forgiveness strategies following a relational transgression. The results revealed that both attachment dimensions and perceptions of relational equity inform our understanding of the strategies that individuals use to communicate forgiveness to a romantic relationship partner. Furthermore, the results suggest that the communication of forgiveness has important implications for relational satisfaction.     

To Know You is (Not) to Want You: Mediators Between Sociosexual Orientation and Romantic Commitment

Past studies have indicated that individuals with an unrestricted sociosexual orientation (SO; ‘unrestricted’ reflects comfort with sex outside the confines of a committed relationship) emphasize attractiveness and desirability when pursuing romantic partners. Additionally, SO is related to decreased commitment, and ultimately increased infidelity, in a current romantic relationship. Thus, the current study investigates potential mediators between sociosexual orientation (SO) and romantic commitment. Perceptions of a romantic partner’s characteristics such as physical attractiveness, various personality traits, and perceived similarities were examined as mediators. The findings indicate perceived social skills, intellect, and perceived similarities with the partner were all significant mediators between SO and commitment. Additionally, physical attractiveness was a marginally significant mediator. The final mediation model suggests that individuals with unrestricted SOs may have lower commit in their current relationships because participants with an unrestricted SO, compared to participants with a restricted SO, rated their partners as having fewer social skills, less intellect, and also fewer similarities between themselves and their partners.     

The Role of Attachment Anxiety and Avoidance in Communication Modality and Relationship Quality of Romantic Relationships Initiated Online

This study explores the relationships among an individual's attachment anxiety and avoidance, the ratio of technology mediated communication (TMC) in their relationship, and relationship quality for individuals who met their romantic partners online. Participants (N = 219) consisted of individuals between the ages of 18–25, who were US citizens, and met a romantic partner utilizing online dating, dating mobile web applications, social networking sites, online chatrooms, or any way of meeting through technology. A survey measuring relationship beliefs, relationship attitudes, and use of technology was distributed and completed via MTurk. Structural equation modeling revealed that anxious attachment was associated with a higher ratio of TMC, whereas avoidant attachment was not significantly related with the ratio of TMC. Higher ratios of TMC were associated with lower relationship quality. Implications for intervention are discussed.     

Family approval as a constraint in dependency regulation: Evidence from Australia and Indonesia

Murray and colleagues’ dependency regulation model suggests that individuals in romantic relationships permit themselves to be emotionally dependent on a romantic partner only when they are certain they are valued by their partners. We argue that in cultures where family has a role in mate selection, family approval of the relationship provides an additional constraint on emotional dependence. Reports of relationship perceptions were collected from Australian and Indonesian individuals in dating relationships. The traditional dependency regulation model was affirmed for the Australian sample, but regulation of emotional dependence was best accounted for by both feelings of security in a partner’s affections and perceptions of approval from the partner’s family for the Indonesian sample.     

Seeking security or growth: a regulatory focus perspective on motivations in romantic relationships

Using a multimethod approach, we examined how regulatory focus shapes people's perceptual, behavioral, and emotional responses in different situations in romantic relationships. We first examined how chronic regulatory focus affects romantic partners' support perceptions and problem-solving behaviors while they were engaged in a conflict resolution discussion (Study 1). Next, we experimentally manipulated regulatory focus and tested its effects on partner perceptions when individuals recalled a prior conflict resolution discussion (Study 2). We then examined how chronic regulatory focus influences individuals' emotional responses to hypothetical relationship events (Study 3) and identified specific partner behaviors to which people should respond with regulatory goal-congruent emotions (Study 4). Strongly prevention-focused people perceived their partners as more distancing and less supportive during conflict (Studies 1 and 2), approached conflict resolution by discussing the details related to the conflict (Study 1), and experienced a negative relationship outcome with more agitation (Study 3). Strongly promotion-focused people perceived their partners as more supportive and less distancing (Studies 1 and 2), displayed more creative conflict resolution behavior (Study 1), and experienced a negative relationship outcome with more sadness and a favorable outcome with more positive emotions (Study 3). In Study 4, recalling irresponsible and responsible partner behaviors was associated with experiencing more prevention-focused emotions, whereas recalling affectionate and neglectful partner behaviors was associated with more promotion-focused emotions. The findings show that regulatory focus and approach-avoidance motivations influence certain interpersonal processes in similar ways, but regulatory focus theory also generates novel predictions on which approach-avoidance models are silent.     

Behavior expectations in cross‐sex friendships,same‐sex friendships,and romantic relationships

Abstract In 2 studies, university students from the United States rated the importance of 43 behavior expectations about their cross‐sex friends, same‐sex friends and romantic partners. In Study 1, all 399 participants had a current romantic partner, whereas in Study 2, romantic partner status varied across the 165 participants. Participants always rated their expectations for romantic partners higher than for either type of friend, and expectations for behaviors promoting emotional closeness were always rated higher than expectations about behaviors promoting social companionship or relationship positivity. In Study 2, expectations for cross‐sex friends were rated lower and more similar to same‐sex friends when participants had a current romantic partner than when they did not.     

Can we still be friends? Resources and barriers to friendship quality after romantic relationship dissolution

Using a social exchange framework, this study examined the influence of resources, satisfaction with resources, and barriers on friendship quality between former dating partners. Three hundred and eighty‐six college students were surveyed regarding their current relationship with their most recent former romantic partner. Results indicated that participants who received more resources reported higher levels of friendship quality with their former partner. Satisfaction with resources moderated the relationship between receipt of resources and friendship quality. Lack of family or friends’ support, involvement in a new romantic relationship, and the use of neglect as a disengagement strategy were all found to be barriers to friendship quality.     

The association between attachment orientations and partner evaluations: An ideal standards perspective

This research examined links between attachment orientations and evaluations of potential and existing relationship partners with respect to ideal standards. In Study 1, attachment anxiety and avoidance predicted the tradeoffs individuals made when choosing between potential mates. In Studies 2 and 3, attachment anxiety and avoidance were associated with ideal partner discrepancies within existing relationships. The findings across the three studies suggest that highly anxious individuals are more likely to use the ideal partner warmth/trustworthiness and status/resources dimensions when evaluating hypothetical and actual romantic partners, whereas highly avoidant individuals are more inclined to use the ideal partner vitality/attractiveness and status/resources dimensions when making partner evaluations. These novel findings are discussed in terms of evolutionary models of mating strategies and evaluations.     

So far away from one's partner, yet so close to romantic alternatives: avoidant attachment, interest in alternatives, and infidelity

Temptation pervades modern social life, including the temptation to engage in infidelity. The present investigation examines one factor that may put individuals at a greater risk of being unfaithful to their partner: dispositional avoidant attachment style. The authors hypothesize that avoidantly attached people may be less resistant to temptations for infidelity due to lower levels of commitment in romantic relationships. This hypothesis was confirmed in 8 studies. People with high, vs. low, levels of dispositional avoidant attachment had more permissive attitudes toward infidelity (Study 1), showed attentional bias toward attractive alternative partners (Study 2), expressed greater daily interest in meeting alternatives to their current relationship partner (Study 5), perceived alternatives to their current relationship partner more positively (Study 6), and engaged in more infidelity over time (Studies 3, 4, 7, and 8). This effect was mediated by lower levels of commitment (Studies 5-8). Thus, avoidant attachment predicted a broad spectrum of responses indicative of interest in alternatives and propensity to engage in infidelity, which were mediated by low levels of commitment.     

Detached and antagonistic: Pathological personality features and mate retention behaviors

Basic personality features have been found to be associated with a variety of romantic relationship outcomes including the strategies that individuals employ to retain their romantic partners. In the current studies, we were interested in determining whether pathological personality features were associated with mate retention behaviors. We examined the associations between the pathological personality features captured by the PID-5 and mate retention behaviors across two samples (i.e., an undergraduate sample and a community sample). Pathological personality features reflecting negative affect, detachment, and antagonism were associated with mate retention behaviors such that individuals who possessed these features were less likely to provide benefits to their partner and more likely to inflict costs on them. Discussion focuses on the implications of these findings and how they can influence the tactics that individuals employ to maintain their romantic relationships.