Separateness/Togetherness

SUMMARY

Within the framework of the developmental stages of marriage, this article focuses on the paradox of separateness/togeth-emess in the marital relationship and how this issue is manifested in the first four stages of marriage. The author also examines the intervention of a “structured trial separation” as a method for ensuring the growth of the individuals and for enhancing the growth of the couple during one of the most critical stages of marriage.     

Separateness and connectedness: Differences between the genders

The theme of separateness and connectedness plays a central role in many schools of psychological thought. While traditional theories, such as those of Mahler in 1975 and Winnicot in 1965, conceptualize a universal development of separateness and connectedness, a number of recent theories such as those of Choderow in 1978, Gilligan in 1982, Frankenstein in 1966, Bakan in 1966, and Gutmann in 1965, propose gender differences such that males are more separated and females are more connected. The present study examined the hypothesis that men are more separated (as measured by self—other differentiation and independence) and women are more connected (as measured by empathy and desire for intimacy). Thirty men and 30 women (Israelis of western origin) responded to self-report questionnaires. Males and females were found to differ with regard to all four variables examined, such that men are more differentiated and independent, and women are more empathic and desire higher intimacy. These results are consistent with those theories that propose that males are more separate and females are more connected. The results are relevant as to the nature of the constructs themselves. The relationships between the variables defining separateness and connectedness suggest that these constructs are complex and multifaceted.This paper is based on an M.A. thesis written by the first author and supervised by the second and Dan Davis.     

Rights,Duties and the Separateness of Persons

Let the fact of the separateness of persons be that we are separate individuals, each with his or her own life to lead. This is to be distinguished from the doctrine of the separateness of persons: the claim that the fact of our separateness is especially deep and important, morally speaking. In this paper, I argue that we ought to reject this doctrine. I focus most of my attention on the suggestion that the separateness of persons best explains the importance we attach to moral rights. After criticizing Nozick's use of the doctrine, I formulate an alternative account of the significance of rights. I then show how proponents of the doctrine of separateness have no principled way of distinguishing between egoism and moral libertarianism. I suggest that rejecting the doctrine of our separateness for the reasons I propose ensures that we need have no fear of having to embrace consequentialism as a result.     

Birkin's Struggle for Separateness in D. H. Lawrence's Women in Love

In Women in Love, Birkin's fulfilment in the relationship with Ursula Brangwen is presented as the result of a struggle to achieve the separation of his self from a devouring mother image. Lawrence's unconscious fantasies concerning the processes contributing to the achievement of this goal are expressed in his depiction of Birkin's strategies. We can distinguish three different strategies: the homoerotic escape, the direct attack on the devouring mother image and the anal erotic self-assurance. We will analyze the devouring mother concept as well as these strategies and check whether the data related in the novel can fit in psychoanalytic formulations of relations and fantasies concerning the separation-individuation process in infancy and early childhood. Finally, we wonder to what extent the eventual relationship of Birkin with Ursula, presented as a fulfilment, can be conceived as a mature sexual love relation.     

Individuation in Marriage

This is an outline of marriage as a relationship which may facilitate continued personal growth and individuation (Jung's concept for the process of selfhood). Seeing marriage, including their own, in this fashion guides the authors in psychotherapy of marital partners and of the relationship.     

Marriage and Attachment

SUMMARY

Attachment behavior (Bowlby, 1969) is considered an integral part of intimate human relating throughout the life span. This research examined the recollections of ten happy couples in long-term marriages as to their attachment experiences in childhood, and their current attachment experiences in marriage. The findings indicated that none of these happily married subjects were raised in homes where both parents were physically and emotionally available. Yet, in adult life they had clearly succeeded in establishing fulfilling long-term relationships. These findings suggested that attachment behavior is subject to modification throughout the life cycle and is not rigidly fixed in childhood. The data suggested that insight, changes in the parent/subject relationship, and the marital relationship were some of the primary factors which could account for the changes in attachment behavior.     

Love and Marriage

Summary

An analysis of the conditions and qualities necessary for maintaining a long term relationship is made based on the author's observations and inquiries. Conclusions are drawn from the analysis.     

Marriage and Family Therapists' Endorsement of Myths About Marriage

Marriage and family therapy training programs aim to provide students with research-based knowledge about marriage and divorce. A group of 223 California-based clinical members of the American Association for Marital and Family Therapy (AAMFT) was surveyed on their endorsement of 21 myths about marriage. Therapists provided correct responses to an average of 9.4 of these items. Endorsement of specific myths correlated with varying demographic, professional and family of origin variables. Implications for therapist training, practice, and future research are discussed.     

MA and Togetherness (Ittaikan) in the Narratives of Dancers and Spectators: Sharing an Uncertain Space

The Japanese concept/character MA (間), commonly translated as “gap, interval, or the in between,” partakes in many forms of Japanese arts and daily-life practices. In this article, we report the results of a qualitative research on the meaning or experience of MA and its relation with the feeling of togetherness in the context of contemporary dance improvisation. We interviewed performers and spectators (all professional dancers) while they watched the videotaped and reduced stick-figure versions of short dance improvisations created in a laboratory installed with motion-capture sensors. Based on the individual narratives, and inspired by Japanese and occidental aesthetic writings, we elaborate a specific understanding of MA as attending to the event's preacceleration, and how this experience causally relates to the feeling of togetherness (一体感, ittaikan). We propose that MA, understood not extensionally (as an empty space or a silent gap), but intentionally/internally as a certain quality of attention or perceptual mode, is fertile ground for serendipity. MA as an interpersonal ethical construct suggests a transsubjective difference as a foundation for a collective coming together.     

婚姻债务

还记得你在婚礼上许下的绝妙无比的誓言吗?“我宣誓,无论贫穷,还是富裕:无论生病,还是健康,在人生漫漫历程中,面对生活的方方面面,我总是会热爱你,呵护你,尊敬你,珍惜你,”但是,从我们婚礼的那天开始,我们发现这些誓言说起来容易,做起来很难。     

Implicit Theories of Marriage and Evaluations of Marriage on Television

This study integrated social-cognitive and interpersonal frameworks in the mass communication setting. Although television presents a fairly consistent view of marriage as conventional and happy, we proposed that college students’ marital schemata, or implicit theories about marriage, would influence their evaluations of television couples’ marital satisfaction. College students (N = 358) completed two waves of questionnaires that used Fitzpatrick's (2988) Relational Dimensions Instrument to assess marital schemata and perceptions of married couples on television. Partial correlations revealed that greater similarity between marital schemata and ratings of television couples’ marriage type was associated with higher ratings of perceived television marital satisfaction. Analysis of covariance indicated that this effect held only for the Traditional schema type. The discussion focuses on the implications of the findings for media effects and marital communication research.     

Marriage and ministry in midlife women

This study of 15 midlife women seminarians or clergy and 13 of their husbands focuses upon the tension between a commitment to family life and a commitment to ordained ministry. The women were preparing to become Protestant clergy or were already in this vocation, while their husbands were middle-class, successful professional people. The study examines the impact of the new cultural self-development ethic upon the lives and religious faith of the women. Husbands' responses to the wives' changes are considered, and suggestions are made to supervising judicatories regarding assistance that may be given to the couples.He is an ordained minister of the Lutheran Church in America as well as a licensed psychologist in the state of Pennsylvania.     

Marriage in theological and church debate

This article discusses some contemporary claims made about the value of “practice” in pre-modern religious thinkers such as Gregory of Nyssa. It is argued that the claim made by some modern ethicists (e.g. Brewer) that value is intrinsic to practice must be modified in order to adequately describe religious practice such as Christian liturgy. Value can not in this case be considered intrinsic to practice, but practices can nevertheless derive value extrinsically, though non-instrumentally as they can be understood as what is called “negative dialectical activities.”     

Social Support in Marriage

The current study examines the role of perceived adequacy of social support provided by spouses for both marital and individual functioning. Married individuals from a college sample (N = 177) recorded the adequacy of specific supportive behaviors provided by the spouse on a daily basis for 7 days. Perceived support adequacy was correlated in the expected direction with marital quality, depressive symptomatology, and perceived stress. Furthermore, hierarchical multiple regressions indicated that perceived support adequacy accounts for significant unique variance in marital quality, depressive symptomatology, and perceived stress, even after controlling for social desirability. Discussion focuses on limitations of the study and implications of the findings for clinical work with couples.