Shifting toward cooperative tendencies and forgiveness: How partner‐focused prayer transforms motivation

Several studies tested whether partner‐focused prayer shifts individuals toward cooperative tendencies and forgiveness. In Studies 1 and 2, participants who prayed more frequently for their partner were rated by objective coders as less vengeful. Study 3 showed that, compared to partners of targets in the positive partner thought condition, the romantic partners of targets assigned to pray reported a positive change in their partner's forgiveness. In Study 4, participants who prayed following a partner's “hurtful behavior” were more cooperative with their partners in a mixed‐motive game compared to participants who engaged in positive thoughts about their partner. In Study 5, participants who prayed for a close relationship partner reported higher levels of cooperative tendencies and forgiveness.     

The conceptualisation of forgiveness among Turkish children and adolescents

This study examined (a) how Turkish children and adolescents define forgiveness, (b) the association between self‐reported forgiveness and the concepts participants hold and (c) the association between self‐reported forgiveness and age. Three hundred and sixty‐seven Turkish children in primary (N = 220) and secondary schools (N = 147) were involved in the study. Participants were asked to define forgiveness, and the study used the Enright Forgiveness Inventory for Children (EFI‐C). Participants' conceptions of forgiveness were categorised into four groups: conditional forgiveness, reconciliation, ignoring the hurtful event and affective reactions. Half of all the participants in the study were found to be in the conditional forgiveness category. Turkish children were found to be mostly in the category of conditional forgiveness, reconciliation and affective reactions compared with adolescents. Adolescents were mainly found to be in the ignoring the hurtful event category. The highest self‐reported forgiveness mean was in the affective reactions category. Participants were commonly offended by friends, siblings, teachers and fathers. No correlation was found between self‐reported forgiveness and age. The present results expand the literature of forgiveness by presenting evidence that Turkish children's and adolescents' understanding of forgiveness moderately relates to theoretical definitions.     

Testing the Ideology of Openness: The Comparative Effects of Talking,Writing, and Avoiding a Stressor on Rumination and Health

A persistent assumption across the psychological literature is that talking and writing about one's stress is inherently more beneficial than avoiding it. This study compared the effects of these stress management strategies on personal and relational health. Two hundred and fifty‐one dating individuals focused on a stressor that was a current source of rumination. Writing about one's stressor for 5 consecutive days (without talking about it) decreased anxiety the most. Talking continuously about one's stressor to a dating partner harmed the relationship more than writing about or avoiding it. The effect of talking repeatedly about one's stressor on relationship quality and brooding, however, depended upon the emotional support received from one's dating partner and the ability to reappraise (positively or neutrally) the stressor.     

Positive and negative: Partner derogation and enhancement differentially related to relationship satisfaction

Previous research on positive illusions has treated negatively biased views of one's romantic partner as existing along the same continuum as positively biased views. However, research on the greater psychological impact of negative events suggests that overly negative views of one's partner (derogation) may have a stronger association with relationship outcomes than overly positive views (enhancement). In this study, 353 couples completed 2 measures of relationship satisfaction and rated themselves and their partners on 3 trait domains. For most domains, with the exception of interpersonal virtues, derogating one's partner was a stronger predictor of satisfaction than enhancing one's partner. Being the object of derogation or enhancement had little association with relationship satisfaction, with some exceptions.     

The link between sociotropy/autonomy and dimensions of relationship commitment: Evidence from gay and lesbian couples

The tendency to be excessively concerned about either interpersonal relationships (sociotropy) or self‐reliance (autonomy) has been regarded as increasing one's susceptibility to experience symptoms of depression. In this study, both one's own and one's partner's scores for each tendency were linked to two dimensions of one's own appraisal of relationship commitment (attractions to the relationship and constraints against leaving the relationship) in a sample of both partners from 29 gay and 35 lesbian cohabiting couples. One's own high autonomy was linked to perceiving few attractions to the relationship, whereas one's own high sociotropy was linked to perceiving many constraints to leaving the relationship under two conditions: when one's partner's sociotropy was low or when one regarded the partner as highly dependable. Findings support the view that individual differences variables may serve as either risk factors for or protective factors against difficulties in maintaining a close relationship and underscore the need to examine cross‐partner effects and moderating effects in identifying the individual differences variables linked to relationship functioning.     

Understanding Betrayals in Marriage: A Synthesized Model of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an issue that is problematic for many couples, particularly those in marital therapy. However, little attention has been paid to this construct in the psychological literature. The purpose of this article is to describe a synthesized model of forgiveness using constructs from multiple theories, including forgiveness, trauma recovery, cognitive-behavioral, family systems, and insight-oriented theories. Forgiveness is conceptualized as a process consisting of three stages, each of which has cognitive, behavioral, and affective components. Furthermore, these stages seem to parallel a person's natural response to traumatic stress. First, there is a response to the initial impact; second, there is an attempt to give the event some kind of meaning, or put it into context; and finally, the person begins to move forward and readjust. Forgiveness is conceptualized as attaining: (a) a realistic, nondistorted, balanced view of the relationship; (b) a release from being controlled by negative affect toward the participating partner; and (c) a lessened desire to punish the participating partner. Implications for marital therapy also are discussed.     

Self‐expansion and flow: The roles of challenge,skill, affect,and activation

The self‐expansion model posits that engaging in challenging activities with one's romantic partner increases the quality of that romantic relationship. Research on flow suggests that the optimal level of challenge for such experiences is determined by the skill of the individual. In a series of 5 studies spanning experimental, survey, and experience sampling methodologies, we elaborate on the self‐expansion model to describe how activity challenge effects romantic relationship quality. The results suggest that engaging in challenging activities with one's partner results in increases in relationship quality, though this effect is dependent on the skill of the individual. Changes in affect appear to fully mediate this process. We present a theoretical model combining self‐expansion and flow theories.     

Does executive control relate to sacrificial behavior during conflicts of interests?

Why is it that some people are better able to sacrifice their own immediate interest for the sake of their partner than others? We conducted two studies to test whether an individual's level of executive control plays a role in answering this question. Study 1 demonstrated that executive control is related to the tendency to continue a frustrating task to benefit one's partner. Study 2 replicated this effect by using two different indicators of sacrifice: a behavioral sacrifice measure and a questionnaire on the intention to make major sacrifices for one's partner. Together, our findings suggest that higher levels of executive control facilitate prorelational behavior when facing various conflicts of interests in a romantic relationship.     

When and how forgiving benefits victims: Post‐transgression offender effort and the mediating role of deservingness judgements

For all the well‐established benefits of forgiveness for victims, when and how is forgiving more likely to be beneficial? Three experimental studies found that forgiving is more likely to be beneficial when victims perceived reparative effort by offenders such that offenders deserve forgiveness. Deservingness judgements were elicited by manipulating post‐transgression offender effort (apology/amends). When offenders apologized (Study 1; recall paradigm) or made amends (Study 2; hypothetical paradigm) and were forgiven—relative to transgressors who did not apologize/make amends but were still forgiven—forgiving was beneficial. These findings—that deserved forgiveness is more beneficial for victims than undeserved forgiveness—were replicated when forgiving itself was also manipulated (Study 3). Moreover, Study 3 provided evidence to indicate that if a victim forgives when it is not deserved, victim well‐being is equivalent to not forgiving at all. Of theoretical and practical importance is the mediating effect of deservingness on relations between post‐transgression offender effort and a victim's personal consequences of forgiving.     

The relation between implicit theories of personality and forgiveness

This research examined the effect of implicit theories of personality on interpersonal forgiveness and the mediating mechanism underlying this effect. Two experiments show that incremental personality theorists are less forgiving than entity personality theorists and that this difference can be explained by the incremental theorists’ stronger tendency to appraise the transgressor as responsible for causing the hurtful event. The same findings were obtained regardless of whether forgiveness was measured by self‐report or assessed as responses to anger words in a latency response task.     

The reciprocal cycle of self‐concealment and trust in romantic relationships

We propose that perceived partner concealment, self‐concealment from one's partner (i.e., keeping secrets from one's partner), and trust in one's partner form a reciprocal cycle in romantic relationships. In Study 1, participants in a romantic relationship (N = 94) completed a two‐time point survey within a span of 8 to 10 weeks. Results revealed that perceived partner concealment was associated with a loss of trust in partner, and low trust in partner was associated with an increase in self‐concealment from one's partner. Furthermore, the association between perceived partner concealment and self‐concealment from one's partner was mediated by trust. In Study 2, couples (N = 50) completed daily records for 14 consecutive days. Multilevel analyses indicated that on the days the individuals reported more self‐concealment, their partners reported lower trust in them. Moreover, on the days the partners reported lower trust, the partners also reported higher self‐concealment. These findings suggest that self‐concealment in romantic relationships can create a reciprocal cycle that involves loss of trust and more self‐concealment between partners, which would slowly deteriorate the relationship well‐being. Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Forgiveness or breakup: Sex differences in responses to a partner's infidelity

Infidelities--sexual, emotional, or both--afflict many long-term romantic relationships. When a person discovers a partner's betrayal, a major decision faced is to forgive the partner and remain together or to terminate the relationship. Because men and women have confronted different adaptive problems over evolutionary history associated with different forms of infidelity, we hypothesised the existence of sex differences in which aspects of infidelity would affect the likelihood of forgiveness or breakup. We tested this hypothesis using forced-choice dilemmas in which participants (N = 256) indicated how difficult it would be to forgive the partner and how likely they would be to break up with the partner, depending on the nature of the infidelity. Results support the hypothesis that men, relative to women: (a) find it more difficult to forgive a sexual infidelity than an emotional infidelity; and (b) are more likely to terminate a current relationship following a partner's sexual infidelity than an emotional infidelity. The Discussion provides directions for future work on the determinants of breakup and the psychology of forgiveness.     

SELF‐FORGIVENESS AND FORGIVENESS

If the notion of a victim's forgiveness encounters scepticism in today's world, more so the notion of self‐forgiveness by the offender. However, a failure to forgive oneself, when self‐forgiveness is appropriate, may be detrimental to one's moral and psychological well‐being. Self‐forgiveness is called for when guilt, self‐hatred and shame reach high levels. Further, a third party's assurance that the offence is forgivable may contribute considerably to the completion of the self‐forgiveness process. This article explores the notion of forgiveness of self and compares it with the notion of forgiveness of others. In addition, guilt and shame, right and wrong, repentance and dealing with the consequences of harmful actions are examined in the context of self‐forgiveness.     

Partner–objectification in romantic relationships: A dyadic approach

The present study investigated the relationship between the objectification of one's romantic partner (partner–objectification) and relationship quality using 221 heterosexual couples. Controlling for relevant covariates, actor–partner interdependence models revealed no partner effects but multiple actor effects. First, men who objectified their partners more had lower levels of relationship commitment and relationship satisfaction, and perceived higher quality alternatives to the relationship. Second, women who objectified their partners more had lower levels of relationship satisfaction themselves. Third, relationship duration marginally moderated the association between partner–objectification and relationship commitment, with partner–objectification negatively linked to one's own relationship commitment in relationships of shorter durations, but not when relationship durations were longer. Implications for an investment model and romantic relationship objectification are discussed.     

Third-party forgiveness: (not) forgiving your close other's betrayer

Building on attribution and interdependence theories, two experiments tested the hypothesis that close friends of victims (third parties) are less forgiving than the victims themselves (first parties). In Experiment 1, individuals imagined a scenario in which either their romantic partner or the romantic partner of a close friend committed the identical relationship offense. Third parties were less forgiving than first parties, a phenomenon we termed the third-party forgiveness effect. This effect was mediated by attributions about the perpetrator's intentions and responsibility for the offense. In Experiment 2, first and third parties reported an actual offense and their subsequent unforgiving motivations. The third-party forgiveness effect was replicated and was mediated by commitment to the perpetrator. Perpetrator apology or amends to the victim increased third-party forgiveness. Future third-party research can expand interpersonal forgiveness research beyond the victim-perpetrator dyad.     

Forgiveness, feeling connected to others, and well-being: two longitudinal studies

In two studies, the authors investigated the associations between interpersonal forgiveness and psychological well-being. Cross-sectional and prospective multilevel analyses demonstrated that increases in forgiveness (measured as fluctuations in individuals' avoidance, revenge, and benevolence motivations toward their transgressors) were related to within-persons increases in psychological well-being (measured as more satisfaction with life, more positive mood, less negative mood, and fewer physical symptoms). Moreover, forgiveness was more strongly linked to well-being for people who reported being closer and more committed to their partners before the transgression and for people who reported that their partners apologized and made amends for the transgression. Evidence for the reverse causal model, that increases in well-being were related to increases in forgiveness, was also found. However, changes in feelings of closeness toward the partner appeared to account for the associations of forgiveness with well-being, but not vice versa.     

Let it be: expatriate couples' adjustment and the upside of avoiding conflicts

This research examines the moderating effect of conflict avoidance on the relationship between conflict and psychological adjustment among 45 expatriate couples at two points in time. We propose a model based on the actor–partner interdependence model, which assumes both intrapersonal and interpersonal effects, to address simultaneously the effects of one's own and the other's avoidance behavior. We found substantial support for our model, especially for expatriate spouses. As expected, and only for expatriate spouses, avoidance moderated the conflict–adjustment relationship such that both one's own and one's counterpart's avoidance behavior diminished the negative effect of conflicts. Because these effects were observed only at T2 and psychological adjustment decreased from T1 to T2, our research suggests that the impact of expatriation-associated interaction particularly manifests itself in the long run.     

Perfectionistic Concerns,Social Negativity,and Subjective Well‐Being: A Test of the Social Disconnection Model

Partner‐specific perfectionistic concerns (PC) include concern over mistakes, self‐criticism, and socially prescribed perfectionism as it pertains to one's partner. The social disconnection model proposes that PC influences well‐being indirectly through interpersonal problems. Thus, we hypothesized that social negativity (expressed anger, hostility, and rejection) would mediate the relationship between dyadic PC and subjective well‐being. Data from 203 romantic dyads (92.1% heterosexual) were collected using self‐report surveys and a four‐wave, 4‐week longitudinal design. Participants were predominantly female (53.1%), young (M = 22.69 years), and Caucasian (82.3%). Data were analyzed using an actor‐partner interdependence model with multilevel structural equation modeling. There were significant actor effects at the between‐subjects and within‐subjects levels, and significant partner effects for the relationship between PC and social negativity at the within‐subject level. Social negativity mediated the relationships between PC and both negative affect and life satisfaction. However, positive affect was more weakly related to PC and social negativity. The social disconnection model was supported. PC was positively associated with one's own social negativity and evoked hostile behaviors from one's partner. Hostile, rejecting behaviors reduced the well‐being of the actor, but not the partner. Results suggest perfectionism may be best understood within an interpersonal context.     

Partner's understanding of affective–cognitive meta‐bases predicts relationship quality

Knowledge that partners have about each other's attitudes are consequential for relationship quality. This article extends prior research and examines whether knowledge regarding a partner's meta‐attitudinal bases, or subjective perceptions of how one's attitudes are driven, can influence relationship quality. Given how meta‐bases are reflective of information‐processing goals, we hypothesized that partner understanding of meta‐attitudinal bases would positively predict relationship quality. Self and partner ratings of how relationally relevant attitudes were driven, as well as perceptions of relationship quality, were assessed. Results revealed that a partner's knowledge of one's meta‐bases positively predicts one's own reported relationship quality. Results remained significant when controlling for relationship duration and meta‐bases similarity. Implications of meta‐bases understanding for close relationship functioning are discussed.