Not all ideals are equal: Intrinsic and extrinsic ideals in relationships

The ideal standards model suggests that greater consistency between ideal standards and actual perceptions of one's relationship predicts positive relationship evaluations; however, no research has evaluated whether this differs across types of ideals. A self‐determination theory perspective was derived to test whether satisfaction of intrinsic ideals buffers the importance of extrinsic ideals. Participants (N = 195) in committed relationships directly and indirectly reported the extent to which their partner met their ideal on two dimensions: intrinsic (e.g., warm, intimate) and extrinsic (e.g., attractive, successful). Relationship need fulfillment and relationship quality were also assessed. Hypotheses were largely supported, such that satisfaction of intrinsic ideals more strongly predicted relationship functioning, and satisfaction of intrinsic ideals buffered the relevance of extrinsic ideals for outcomes.     

When and why do ideal partner preferences affect the process of initiating and maintaining romantic relationships?

Three studies explored how the traits that people ideally desire in a romantic partner, or ideal partner preferences, intersect with the process of romantic relationship initiation and maintenance. Two attraction experiments in the laboratory found that, when participants evaluated a potential romantic partner's written profile, they expressed more romantic interest in a partner whose traits were manipulated to match (vs. mismatch) their idiosyncratic ideals. However, after a live interaction with the partner, the match vs. mismatch manipulation was no longer associated with romantic interest. This pattern appeared to have emerged because participants reinterpreted the meaning of the traits as they applied to the partner, a context effect predicted by classic models of person perception (S. E. Asch, 1946). Finally, a longitudinal study of middle-aged adults demonstrated that participants evaluated a current romantic partner (but not a partner who was merely desired) more positively to the extent that the partner matched their overall pattern of ideals across several traits; the match in level of ideals (i.e., high vs. low ratings) was not relevant to participants' evaluations. In general, the match between ideals and a partner's traits may predict relational outcomes when participants are learning about a partner in the abstract and when they are actually in a relationship with the partner, but not when considering potential dating partners they have met in person.     

Ideals, perceptions, and evaluations in early relationship development

This research examined partner and relationship perceptions and ideal standards in 100 individuals over time, from the 1st to the 12th month of their dating relationships. As expected, the results revealed that (a) individuals evaluated their relationships on both distinct evaluative components and global evaluative dimensions, (b) higher ideal-perception consistency was associated with higher perceived quality of relationships and partners, (c) more positive perceptions of partners and relationships at earlier points in time were associated with more importance being placed on relevant ideals over time but not vice versa, and (d) higher levels of ideal-perception consistency predicted lower rates of relationship dissolution but were mediated through perceptions of relationship quality. These results support the ideal standards model (Fletcher & Simpson, in press).     

The Compatibility of Ideal and Real Romantic Partner Characteristics,Attachment to Partner and Relationship Satisfaction Among Indian Women

This study examined the compatibility between the characteristics of ideal and real romantic partners, attachment to partner (defined by two categories—avoidance and anxiety) and relationship satisfaction of (N = 272) women involved in close heterosexual relationships. As hypothesized, higher compatibility of ideal and real romantic partner characteristics was related to lower levels of avoidance and anxiety and higher levels of relationship satisfaction. This study also revealed that the three-factor model for ideal partner (partner warmth-trustworthiness, vitality-attractiveness, and status-resources), designed by Fletcher, Simpson et al. (1999) was not fully suitable to Indian women; there were five major dimensions, which defined what women used as standards to evaluate ideal partners. The study showed that: older women more than younger ones desired external and family—related attributes of ideal partner. The results suggest that ideals may be very important for satisfying relationships and secure connection with the romantic partner. The cultural differences in evaluative dimensions for ideal partner needs further investigation.     

Value priorities and preferences for a relationship partner

Despite extensive research into preferences for a romantic partner, previous work has not addressed the role of individual values in informing desires for a partner. The present study employed a recent comprehensive model of values [Schwartz, S. H. (1994). Beyond individualism-collectivism: new cultural dimensions of values. In U. Kim, H. C. Triandis, C. Kagitcibasi, S-C. Choi, & G. Yoon (Eds.), Individualism and collectivism: theory, method and application (pp. 81–119). Newbury Park, CA: Sage] to examine the role of values and sex, age and education in partner preferences. One hundred general population respondents from two British towns completed the Schwartz Value Survey and rated the desirability of 13 partner characteristics. Correlational analyses confirmed 12 of the 17 expected relationships between value scores and partner preferences whilst regressions conducted on three preference factors underlined the importance of the sex and education of the respondent in their rating of some partner ideals. We conclude by considering the need for future studies of partner preferences to combine the study of values with a range of demographic factors studied across a number of cultural settings.     

The action model of relationship security: How one's own behavior shapes confidence in partners' care,regard, and commitment

The authors present and test the action model of relationship security, which predicts that people's behavior toward a relationship partner shapes their security regarding that partner's care, regard, and commitment. Specifically, actors who enact prosocial or antisocial behavior develop corresponding prosocial or antisocial metaperceptions (i.e., they believe they are viewed as prosocial or antisocial by their partner). In turn, these metaperceptions have a strong influence on actors' security in their partner's care, regard, and commitment due to lay theories positing that prosocial and antisocial behavior impacts others' sentiments. Four studies supported this model. Moreover, findings suggest that prosocial metaperceptions buffer the harmful effects of attachment anxiety on relationship security. This research suggests the relevance of own behavior for relationship security.     

The importance of similarity and understanding of partners' marital ideals to relationship satisfaction

This article extends earlier work on the association between relationship partners' similarity and understanding about marital ideals and relationship satisfaction by controlling for individual differences in stereotype endorsement or typical responding. For heterosexual couples we separated a measure of understanding into the general understanding of partners and understanding that is unique to the specific relationship partner. The measures of similarity and understanding were also separated into general similarity and understanding and into those that are unique between partners. We examined the contribution of each type of similarity and understanding to relationship satisfaction in 238 dating and married couples. Findings indicate that the more satisfied individuals believe that the partner endorses a “female” stereotype. Understanding does not relate to length of the relationship or satisfaction, but similarity in values does There is some indication that marital discord decreases with an increase in the male partners' understanding of their female partners.     

Attachment styles and relationship quality: Actual,perceived, and ideal partner matching

Attachment dimension matching in dating relationships and how matching relates to relationship quality were investigated. Across 2 studies, individuals preferred similar but more secure partners (lower anxiety and lower avoidance) as reflected by their ideals. In Study 1, greater similarity between the self and perceptions of the partner's anxiety predicted more positive relationship outcomes (e.g., relationship satisfaction, trust). Similar results were found for ideal–perceived partner avoidance similarity, whereas ideal–perceived partner anxiety similarity was less important. Study 2 involved both partners in the relationship and indicated that relationship outcomes were predicted by the actor's and partner's attachment dimensions as well as by ideal–perceived partner similarity and self–perceived partner similarity.     

Enhancing relationship perceptions by reducing felt inferiority: The role of attachment style

To trust in a romantic partner’s acceptance and love, people need to believe they are just as good a person as their partner (and that their partner shares this perception). Yet, people low in attachment security may have difficulty sustaining these beliefs. Two experiments examined the consequences of reducing felt inferiority to the partner. Participants high in attachment anxiety (Experiment 1) and attachment avoidance (Experiment 2) reported greater confidence in their partner’s acceptance and love and attached greater value to their partner when led to feel (or to believe their partner saw them as) superior to their partner. Thus, reducing felt inferiority may effectively enhance relationship perceptions for people relatively low in attachment security.     

Partner effects in relationship research: Conceptual issues,analytic difficulties,and illustrations

This article discusses the conceptual meaning of partner effects, which occur when one person is affected by the behavior or characteristics of his or her partner. We show that partner effects can be used to validate the presence of a relationship and can elaborate the particular nature of that relationship. We discuss possible moderation of partner effects and show that many theoretical variables in relationship research (e.g., similarity) can be viewed as the interactions of partner effects with other variables. We present three extended examples that illustrate the importance of partner effects.     

情绪分享和感知恋人回应对亲密关系满意度的影响

研究通过问卷星收集了150对异性恋情侣的情绪分享、感知恋人回应、亲密关系满意度的数据,并采用行动者-对象互依模型进行统计分析。结果显示：（1）情绪分享通过感知恋人回应的中介作用影响亲密关系满意度。女性的积极情绪分享与男性的消极情绪分享直接正向影响自身亲密关系满意度。（2）男性的积极情绪分享正向影响女性的亲密关系满意度。研究揭示了亲密关系中情绪分享和感知恋人回应对关系满意度的影响特点。     

Attention and consciousness: two distinct brain processes

The close relationship between attention and consciousness has led many scholars to conflate these processes. This article summarizes psychophysical evidence, arguing that top-down attention and consciousness are distinct phenomena that need not occur together and that can be manipulated using distinct paradigms. Subjects can become conscious of an isolated object or the gist of a scene despite the near absence of top-down attention; conversely, subjects can attend to perceptually invisible objects. Furthermore, top-down attention and consciousness can have opposing effects. Such dissociations are easier to understand when the different functions of these two processes are considered. Untangling their tight relationship is necessary for the scientific elucidation of consciousness and its material substrate.     

Sexual Passion in Committed Relationships: Measurement and Conceptual Issues

The purpose of this study is to discuss the need for a new triadic model of sexual passion in relationships and to present the preliminary psychometric properties of a scale designed to measure these three approaches to passion (harmonious, obsessive, and inhibited) for use in clinical and scholarly work. Existing theory and measures of general passion are based on a dualistic model of passion that includes the harmonious and obsessive approaches to passion. We added the inhibited approach to passion from the sexuality research and develop measures for assessing sexual passion in relationships. We utilized an Amazon Mechanical Turk sample of 1,421 individuals in committed relationships to test this measure. Reliability analyses and confirmatory factory analyses evinced that these three approaches to sexual passion were unique constructs and distinct from sexual satisfaction. Sexual passion showed predictive validity above and beyond relationship length, sexual desire toward a partner, and a broader variable of sexual drive. Harmonious sexual passion robustly predicted higher sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction, and inhibited sexual passion moderately predicted lower sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction. Obsessive sexual passion had minimal associations with either outcome. These new constructs, especially harmonious and inhibited sexual passion, may help scholars and practitioners improve their understanding of sexual satisfaction and overall relationship satisfaction.     

基于行动者-对象相互依赖模型探究牺牲动机对亲密关系满意度的影响

目的:探究牺牲动机对亲密关系满意度的影响以及知觉到对方牺牲动机的中介作用。方法:对168对情侣采用亲密关系满意度、牺牲动机和知觉到对方的牺牲动机量表来测量,并运用行动者-对象相互依赖模型进行分析。结果:行动者效应:知觉到对方的牺牲趋近动机是牺牲趋近动机和关系满意度的中介变量。对象效应:只发现女性的牺牲趋近动机通过正向影响男性知觉到的牺牲趋近动机从而正向影响男性的关系满意度。结论:本研究有助于理解恋人双方做出牺牲行为背后的动机对于双方关系满意度的影响。     

Your goals or mine? Women’s personal and vicarious eating regulation goals and their partners’ perceptions of support,well-being,and relationship quality

This research examined the types of eating regulation goals that women have for themselves as well as for their romantic partner, and how these relate to their interpersonal style toward their partner, and to their partner’s psychological and relational well-being. Participants were 131 heterosexual couples. Results show that the eating regulation goals that women have for their partner (health or appearance oriented) reflect the type of goals that they personally pursue. Furthermore, women who have health-focused eating goals for their partner are perceived as more autonomy-supportive, which is associated with the partner’s report of higher relationship quality. Conversely, women who have appearance-focused eating goals for their partner are more likely to be perceived as controlling, which negatively predicts the partner’s psychological and relational well-being. These results attest to the importance of considering women’s personal eating regulation goals for a better understanding of the type of goals they have for their partners and how these relate to their partners’ well-being and relationship quality.     

Organization of partner knowledge: relationship outcomes and longitudinal change

This study examined the association between organization of knowledge about a romantic partner (partner structure) and relationship status (ongoing or ended) 1 year later. Ironically, partner structures that were associated with more positive feelings about one's partner at Time 1 were associated with greater rates of breakup by Time 2. These results are interpreted in terms of the vulnerability of compartmentalized partner structures to shifts in the salience of negative beliefs and the hypothesized difficulty of maintaining integrative structures for an extended period of time. Change in partner structure during 1 year's time was consistent with the predictions of the dynamic model that evaluative integration should increase when negative beliefs become salient. Such change (which may represent a transient shift) was associated with couples' longevity when relationship conflict was low, supporting the view that integration reflects a struggle with negative attributes that may or may not be successful.     

Human Bonds

ABSTRACT There are three kinds of bonds between human beings: biological and natural; legal and artificial; social and voluntary. Marriage can be seen as an artificial and legal means of shifting the loose bonding of the third category of relationship into the deep and inescapable bonding of the first. The desire to create bonds of this type is widespread, but non-bonding, too, has been recommended either as good in itself—a way of achieving peace of mind or personal emancipation through wider relationships—or as necessary self-denial for some higher cause. In the latter case, the bonds of family are seen as a positive good, a view shared, though for different reasons, by religious and political conservatives and by revisionist feminists.
In contrast to this, three philosophical conceptions which would favour unbonding, or detachment from emotional ties, are categorised here as (a) the Stoic, (b) the Existentialist and (c) the Feminist. Within the Feminist ideal, it is radical, rather than liberal or socialist feminism that has most in common with Stoic or Existentialist ideals. These ideals are considered, together with various alternatives to marriage, and are judged not to override the need for deep personal bonds between human beings. These personal bonds of love and commitment are compared with the alternative bonds of religion and politics and it is concluded that, whatever forms they take, personal bonds have fundamental moral priority in the lives of human beings.     

The Couple's Grid: A Tool for Assessing Interpersonal Construction in Couples

In the study of human relationships, interest in interpersonal construction is increasing because of its implications for the quality of the couple's relationship. The processes involved in construing self and others may play a key role. However, a precise methodology to study those processes has not yet been developed. The aim of this article is to present a dyadic assessment tool, the couple's grid (CG), which is inspired from constructivist and systemic perspectives. Derived from Procter's (1985) family grid, the CG is similarly based on the repertory grid technique. The CG assesses perception of self and partner, and their ideals, and also the metaperception of the partner's view (e.g., “What does your partner think about you?”). These two levels of analysis provide measures of perceived similarity, commonality, and sociality. This article describes the development of CG as an assessment tool with a case illustration.