Successful Marriage

Drawing on the professional experience of the author, this article presents an overview of the process of differentiation through which individual spouses can choose to grow and thus gain the possibility of a cooperative marital relationship. Beginning with developmental psychology to show the origins and influence of differentiation, the author shows the antithesis of differentiation, namely merger, and then expounds on issues of differentiation anxiety and then intimacy. The article then discusses strategies to help couples achieve differentiation.     

Marriage and Family Therapists' Endorsement of Myths About Marriage

Marriage and family therapy training programs aim to provide students with research-based knowledge about marriage and divorce. A group of 223 California-based clinical members of the American Association for Marital and Family Therapy (AAMFT) was surveyed on their endorsement of 21 myths about marriage. Therapists provided correct responses to an average of 9.4 of these items. Endorsement of specific myths correlated with varying demographic, professional and family of origin variables. Implications for therapist training, practice, and future research are discussed.     

婚姻债务

还记得你在婚礼上许下的绝妙无比的誓言吗?“我宣誓,无论贫穷,还是富裕:无论生病,还是健康,在人生漫漫历程中,面对生活的方方面面,我总是会热爱你,呵护你,尊敬你,珍惜你,”但是,从我们婚礼的那天开始,我们发现这些誓言说起来容易,做起来很难。     

Individuation in Marriage

This is an outline of marriage as a relationship which may facilitate continued personal growth and individuation (Jung's concept for the process of selfhood). Seeing marriage, including their own, in this fashion guides the authors in psychotherapy of marital partners and of the relationship.     

Marriage and Attachment

SUMMARY

Attachment behavior (Bowlby, 1969) is considered an integral part of intimate human relating throughout the life span. This research examined the recollections of ten happy couples in long-term marriages as to their attachment experiences in childhood, and their current attachment experiences in marriage. The findings indicated that none of these happily married subjects were raised in homes where both parents were physically and emotionally available. Yet, in adult life they had clearly succeeded in establishing fulfilling long-term relationships. These findings suggested that attachment behavior is subject to modification throughout the life cycle and is not rigidly fixed in childhood. The data suggested that insight, changes in the parent/subject relationship, and the marital relationship were some of the primary factors which could account for the changes in attachment behavior.     

Love and Marriage

Summary

An analysis of the conditions and qualities necessary for maintaining a long term relationship is made based on the author's observations and inquiries. Conclusions are drawn from the analysis.     

The Marriage Contract

This article is intended to serve as an introduction to the concept of the marriage contract, which has proved to be a useful clinical tool for clarification and treatment of troubled marriages. Transactional as well as intrapsychic factors are important aspects of marital dynamics. The contract concept employs both these behavioral parameters and facilitates therapeutic intervention at both levels.     

Implicit Theories of Marriage and Evaluations of Marriage on Television

This study integrated social-cognitive and interpersonal frameworks in the mass communication setting. Although television presents a fairly consistent view of marriage as conventional and happy, we proposed that college students’ marital schemata, or implicit theories about marriage, would influence their evaluations of television couples’ marital satisfaction. College students (N = 358) completed two waves of questionnaires that used Fitzpatrick's (2988) Relational Dimensions Instrument to assess marital schemata and perceptions of married couples on television. Partial correlations revealed that greater similarity between marital schemata and ratings of television couples’ marriage type was associated with higher ratings of perceived television marital satisfaction. Analysis of covariance indicated that this effect held only for the Traditional schema type. The discussion focuses on the implications of the findings for media effects and marital communication research.     

Marriage Guidance Training and the Trainee's Own Marriage: A Prospective Study

Twenty trainees and 18 partners took part in a study of the effects of a marriage guidance training programme on their own marriage. Changes were assessed in two ways: retrospectively ('perceived' changes as assessed following training) and prospectively (changes calculated by comparing scores obtained before training and those obtained after training). For most dimensions there was little correspondence between 'perceived' change and 'calculated' change. This has important methodological implications, which are discussed. The 'calculated' change indicated poorer marital adjustment following training. The trainees' scores suggested that they had become less 'abasing' and less 'nurturant' towards their partners; also that they had more disagreements about 'philosophy of life' and 'dealing with in-laws'. Their comments suggested that a number of the trainees had become more analytical of their own marriages, and that training had heightened their awareness of their own needs and individuality.     

Decoupling Marriage and Parenting

This article argues for separating the institutions of marriage and parenting, conceptually and legally. Marriage is neither necessary nor adequate for fostering cooperative and stable co‐parenting. Because promoting marriage fails to protect all children, the state should develop a more suitable formal mechanism whereby co‐parents can commit to cooperate in good faith in order to best serve the interests of their children. Like civil marriage, many of the terms of these contracts are aspirational and not enforceable, though they can guide arrangements for custody and financial support. Co‐parenting agreements need not be limited to two parents, nor need they be limited to legal parents, but can include de facto parents, such as stepparents, foster parents, and other support parents. One important aim of these agreements is to recognise and support the valuable work that married or unmarried co‐parents perform, and to protect the parental rights of caregivers in different kinds of situations.     

Narcissistic Vulnerability in Marriage

Many couples who seek therapy with issues around money, work, sex or children are actually dealing at a deeper level with problems of narcissistic entitlement, vulnerability to emotional injury, or defenses that protect against perceived attacks upon a fragile self. This paper considers the concept of narcissism as it relates to marriage and family issues and suggests some important ingredients in treating a narcissistically vulnerable relationship.     

Marriage and Family Counseling

This article provides an overview of marriage and family counseling, including the growth and interest of this specialty within the American Counseling Association (ACA). Areas discussed include the evolution of marriage and family counseling within ACA, standards for training, credentialing, and unique ethical considerations when counseling couples and families.