Personality features and mate retention strategies: Honesty–humility and the willingness to manipulate,deceive, and exploit romantic partners

Personality features are associated with several relationship outcomes. We examined whether specific personality features differed in their associations with “mate retention” strategies. We examined the unique associations that personality features had with mate retention strategies reported by 179 community members in romantic relationships for at least 6 months. Personality features were associated with each of the mate retention strategies such that positive personality features (e.g., high levels of honesty–humility) were associated with less reliance on mate retention strategies that involved manipulating, deceiving, or exploiting romantic partners. Discussion focuses on the implications of these results for understanding the connection between personality features and behaviors intended to preserve and maintain romantic relationships.     

Insecure romantic attachment dimensions and frequency of mate retention behaviors

Individual differences in attachment bonds may influence the performance of mate retention behaviors. Because anxiously attached individuals are hypervigilant to partner rejection cues, we hypothesize that individuals higher in anxious attachment will perform more frequent mate retention behaviors. Because avoidantly attached individuals evade intimacy with their partners, we hypothesize that individuals higher in avoidant attachment will perform less frequent mate retention behaviors. Participants (N = 469) in a romantic relationship completed measures of romantic attachment and mate retention behaviors. The results provide support for the study hypotheses but also reveal that avoidantly attached women perform more frequent mate retention behaviors that deter intrasexual rivals. We discuss limitations of this research and highlight directions for research on romantic attachment, mate retention behaviors, and infidelity.     

Borderline personality disorder features and mate retention tactics

The purpose of the present study was to examine the association between features of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and mate retention tactics as a means of examining an evolutionary perspective on the association between BPD features and interpersonal problems and violence in romantic relationships. Two-hundred twenty-five college student participants completed the Personality Assessment Inventory for Borderlines (PAI-BOR; Morey, 1991) and the Mate Retention Inventory-Short Form (MRI-SF; Buss, Shackelford, & McKibbin, 2008) embedded within other measures. There was a strong association between BPD features and cost-inflicting mate retention tactics, including the specific tactics of vigilance, punishing mate's infidelity threat, intrasexual threats, and sexual inducements for both men and women. There were also gender-specific associations for additional tactics. These results contribute to our understanding of problems in romantic relationships among men and women with BPD features, including violence, and to our understanding of impulsive sexual behavior among individuals with BPD features by showing how these behaviors are used as extreme, maladaptive attempts at mate retention.     

Women’s mate retention behaviors,personality traits,and fellatio

Women perform oral sex on their male partner (i.e., fellatio) as part of a Benefit-Provisioning mate retention strategy, and women’s personality predicts their interest in, and time spent, performing fellatio. We explored whether women’s mate retention behavior mediates the relationship between their personality traits and their performance of fellatio in a long-term romantic relationship. Women (n = 401) reported their personality traits, the frequency with which they performed mate retention behaviors during the past month, and their interest in and the time they spent performing fellatio on their partner during their most recent sexual encounter. The results indicate that women higher in Conscientiousness spend more time performing fellatio on their partner, and this relationship is mediated by their Benefit-Provisioning mate retention. Women higher in Agreeableness report greater interest in performing fellatio on their partner, and less Cost-Inflicting mate retention, but mate retention behaviors do not mediate the relationship between their Agreeableness and their interest in performing fellatio. The current research is the first to investigate the relationship between women’s personality traits and oral sex behaviors, and contributes to research documenting that mate retention strategies are associated with sexual behavior.     

When we hurt the ones we love: Predicting violence against women from men's mate retention

Mate retention behaviors are designed to solve several adaptive problems such as deterring a partner's infidelity and preventing defection from the mating relationship. Although many mate retention behaviors appear to be innocuous romantic gestures (e.g., displaying resources, giving flowers), some may be harbingers of violence. We investigated the associations between male mate retention and violence against women in romantic relationships. In Study 1, 461 men reported their use of mate retention behaviors and separately completed instruments designed to assess violence in their relationships. Study 2 assessed 560 women's reports of their partners’ mate retention behaviors and the degree to which their partners used violence against them. As predicted, and across both studies, men's use of particular mate retention behaviors was related positively to female‐directed violence. Study 3 secured 2 separate data sources—husbands’ reports of their mate retention and wives’ reports of their husbands’ violence in a sample of 214 individuals forming 107 couples. The results corroborated those of Studies 1 and 2, with particular male mate retention behaviors predicting violence against romantic partners. The general discussion outlines future directions for research that are likely to result in a more comprehensive understanding of partner violence against women.     

Machiavellianism in long‐term relationships: Competition,mate retention and sexual coercion

Machiavellianism is characterized by a manipulative interpersonal style and willingness to exploit others (Christie & Geis, 1970). Though previous research has focused on the influence of Machiavellianism in short‐term relationships, Machiavellianism may also influence behavior within long‐term committed romantic relationships. Heterosexual men (N = 93) and women (N = 141) in current romantic relationships of at least 12 months duration were recruited online. Participants completed Machiavellianism, Intra‐Sexual Competition, Mate Retention and Sexual Coercion scales. Regression analyses revealed that those with high levels of Machiavellianism were more likely to compete with same‐sex rivals, directly guard a mate and employ inter‐sexual or intra‐sexual negative inducements as a form of mate retention than those with low levels of the personality trait. Gender did not moderate the influence of Machiavellianism on these behaviors. Findings highlight the influence of Machiavellianism within long‐term committed romantic relationships.     

Mate retention tactics in Spain: personality, sex differences, and relationship status

Mate retention is an important problem in romantic relationships because of mate poachers, infidelity, and the risk of outright defection. The current study (N=892) represents the first study of mate retention tactics conducted in Spain. We tested hypotheses about the effects of gender, relationship commitment status, and personality on mate retention tactics. Women and men differed in the use of resource display, appearance enhancement, intrasexual violence, and submission/self-abasement as mate retention tactics. Those in more committed relationships reported higher levels of resource display, appearance enhancement, love, and verbal signals of possession. Those in less committed relationships more often reported intentionally evoking jealousy in their partner as a mate retention tactic. Personality characteristics, particularly Neuroticism and Agreeableness, correlated in coherent ways with mate retention tactics, supporting two evolution-based hypotheses. Discussion focuses on the implications, future research directions, and interdisciplinary syntheses emerging between personality and social psychology and evolutionary psychology.     

Dishonest individuals request more frequent mate retention from friends

Coalitional mate retention (CMR) occurs when individuals request assistance from a friend to minimize the risk of partner infidelity. We secured reports from men and women in a committed, heterosexual relationship to investigate associations between CMR requests and the sex and personality traits of individuals who request CMR and the sex of their friends. Consistent with our hypothesis, individuals scoring higher in Honesty–Humility requested CMR less frequently. We also documented that individuals higher in Extraversion and lower in Conscientiousness requested CMR more frequently. We address limitations of the research and future research directions, including tests of the hypothesis that CMR involves duplicitous behaviors that are less typical of individual mate retention.     

面孔吸引力、人格标签对于男女择偶偏好的影响

通过对征婚启事、婚姻统计资料等的分析发现相貌、身材对于男性择偶重要, 能力、资源和个性等对于女性择偶重要。本研究运用实验法进一步探讨了面孔吸引力、人格标签及其交互对于大学生理想择偶偏好的影响。研究结果表明：(1)对于漂亮异性, 男性与其成为情侣的意愿显著高于女性; 而对于不漂亮的异性, 男性与其成为情侣的意愿明显低于女性。(2)对于积极词汇标签下的异性, 女性与其成为情侣的意愿显著高于男性; 而对于消极词汇标签下的异性, 女性与其成为情侣的意愿显著低于男性。(3)与消极词汇标签比较, 积极词汇标签使被试更愿意与其成为情侣, 但这种意愿的提高在相对漂亮的面孔上表现得更加明显。(4)大五人格的五个维度对择偶意愿都有影响, 影响力依次为尽责性、随和性、开放性、情绪稳定性和外倾性。女性更喜欢外向的男性, 但女性是否外向对男性择偶无影响。研究结果为理解择偶行为的性别差异提供了实验性证据。     

Should have known better: The impact of mating experience and the desire for marriage upon attraction to the narcissistic personality

Narcissistic males do not make good romantic partners. Narcissistic males lack commitment, engage in manipulative game-playing and are unfaithful. Despite this, they are still desired by females. Females value different traits in short-term and long-term partners. Previous mate sampling experience is also important to facilitate mate assessment. This study aimed to determine whether amongst young adult heterosexual females; their mate sampling experience and desire for marriage influenced their attraction to narcissistic personality traits in a potential mate. British females aged 18–28 provided information on past mating experience, future desire for marriage and rated their agreement with 20 statements relating to the extent that they found narcissistic personality traits attractive in a potential mate. Females with greater mating experience and those desiring marriage were more attracted to the narcissistic male personality. The narcissistic personality, whilst having many negative qualities, possesses qualities associated with status and resource provision. These traits are desirable in short and long-term mating contexts. Despite future long-term mating desires which are unlikely to be achieved with a narcissistic male and possession of substantial mate sampling experience, females view the narcissistic male as a suitable partner: a testament to the success of the narcissistic personality in facilitating short-term mating.     

Discrepancies Between Explicit and Implicit Self-Esteem: Implications for Mate Retention Strategies and Perceived Infidelity

ABSTRACT

The purpose of the present study was to examine whether the association between explicit self-esteem and relationship outcomes was moderated by implicit self-esteem. This was accomplished by asking 210 undergraduates who were currently involved in romantic relationships to complete measures of their explicit self-esteem, implicit self-esteem, mate retention strategies, and likelihood of future infidelity. Implicit self-esteem was found to moderate the association between high explicit self-esteem and relationship outcomes for male participants such that men with discrepant high self-esteem (i.e., high explicit self-esteem but low implicit self-esteem) reported less use of mate retention strategies and perceived a greater likelihood of future infidelity in their relationships during the next year. These findings provide additional support for the idea that fragile self-esteem may have consequences for the manner in which individuals perceive their relationships.     

Do women perform fellatio as a mate retention behavior?

Men who report performing more mate retention behaviors, in general, and more benefit-provisioning mate retention behaviors, in particular, also report greater interest in, and spend more time, performing oral sex on their female partner. We extended these findings to a female sample to investigate whether women’s oral sex behaviors are related to their mate retention behaviors. We secured self-report data from 410 women residing in the United States or in Germany in a committed, sexual, heterosexual relationship. The results indicate that women who report performing more benefit-provisioning mate retention behaviors also report greater interest in, and spend more time, performing oral sex on their partner. Further, there are no sex differences in the magnitudes or directions of these relationships. The results suggest that both men and women are more interested in, and spend more time, performing oral sex on their partner as part of a benefit-provisioning strategy to increase their partner’s relationship satisfaction. We address limitations of this research, and discuss explanations for the results.     

Dark and immoral: The links between pathological personality features and moral values

Recent research on morality has highlighted important individual differences in moral judgment and reasoning. The present study extends these findings by examining the connections between moral concerns and pathological personality features. This was accomplished by asking 447 community participants to complete self-report measures concerning their pathological personality features and moral concerns. The results showed that pathological personality features differ in their associations with moral concerns as measured by individualizing values (i.e., sensitivity to harm and fairness) and binding values (i.e., reflecting in-group loyalty, respect for authority, and sanctity). For example, negative affect was associated with stronger individualizing and binding values, whereas antagonism was associated with weaker individualizing values. Discussion focuses on the implications of these results for understanding the connections between pathological personality features and moral concerns.     

Personality characteristics associated with romantic attachment: a comparison of interview and self-report methodologies

This study compared the personality attributes associated with self-report versus interview assessment of romantic attachment. Twenty-three-year-olds (N = 83) completed the Romantic Attachment Interview, the Experiences in Close Relationship Inventory, and measures of response bias, self-enhancement, and self-insight. Five psychologists evaluated the participants' personality. Although both self-report and interview assessment were related to attachment-relevant personality attributes, interview assessment was slightly more likely to explain unique variance in personality, especially regarding intrapsychic attributes. Self-enhancement was negatively related to secure attachment and positively related to dismissing attachment. The opposite pattern emerged for self-insight. A subgroup of 12 vulnerable individuals who described themselves as securely attached on self-report was judged as dismissing according to interview assessment. These individuals scored low on self-insight and high on self-enhancement and psychological vulnerability. The results are discussed with reference to the relative strengths of different measures of romantic attachment and relations among dismissing attachment, self-enhancement, and narcissism.     

美的就是好的?外貌吸引力在亲密关系中的作用

外貌吸引力对亲密关系的建立和发展发挥着不可忽视的作用。由于高外貌吸引力个体被认为具有更多的社会理想特质和更优良的基因, 因此被视为具有更高的配偶价值, 从而有效地促进亲密关系的建立。然而在亲密关系发展中, 由于不匹配的外貌吸引力引起低外貌吸引力伴侣采取一系列的伴侣保留、嫉妒、侮辱和性强迫行为, 从而加速亲密关系的破裂。也有研究指出高外貌吸引力男性可能不具有良好的基因, 而女性也不会在繁殖高峰期偏爱高外貌吸引力男性。“美的就是好的”的看法正在受到质疑, 研究结果也已引发了诸多争议和分歧, 相关的直接证据亦有待进一步夯实。     

Perceived and actual characteristics of parents and partners: A test of a freudian model of mate selection

The present research examined the psychoanalytic theory of mate selection (Freud, 1927) which proposes that people choose romantic partners similar to their oppositesex parents (Epstein & Guttman, 1984). This phenomenon was addressed as both an actual phenomenon that guides partner choice and as a perceived phenomenon regarding people's conceptualizations of their parents and partners. Participants were asked to describe their parents, significant others, and ideal significant others in terms of several personality characteristics. Also, actual parents and partners of subjects described themselves. For four of eight personality variables, subjects' opposite-sex parents scored similarly to their partners. Also, subjects perceived their significant others as similar to their parents across all variables. Relationship satisfaction was significantly related to the degree to which participants perceive similarity between their parents and partners. Implications for understanding how people's parents influence both actual mate selection and romantic partner perception are discussed. The author expresses his gratitude to the institutions of the University of New Hampshire and Western Oregon University for supporting this research. Additionally, the author expresses his sincere appreciation for the help of the following individuals who all contributed to this research in some way: Rebecca Warner, Kathleen Bauman, Nicole (Nikki) Stoecker, Sara Elizabeth Kay Hubbard, Tracy Beckel, Becky Briggs, Jennifer Palmacci, Cortney Ravenscroft, Allison Schermerhorn, Gregory Tetrault, Vicki Banyard, Kathleen McCartney, Jack Lannamann, and Sally Ward.     

Perceived and actual characteristics of parents and partners: A test of a freudian model of mate selection

The present research examined the psychoanalytic theory of mate selection (Freud, 1927) which proposes that people choose romantic partners similar to their oppositesex parents (Epstein & Guttman, 1984). This phenomenon was addressed as both an actual phenomenon that guides partner choice and as a perceived phenomenon regarding people's conceptualizations of their parents and partners. Participants were asked to describe their parents, significant others, and ideal significant others in terms of several personality characteristics. Also, actual parents and partners of subjects described themselves. For four of eight personality variables, subjects' opposite-sex parents scored similarly to their partners. Also, subjects perceived their significant others as similar to their parents across all variables. Relationship satisfaction was significantly related to the degree to which participants perceive similarity between their parents and partners. Implications for understanding how people's parents influence both actual mate selection and romantic partner perception are discussed. The author expresses his gratitude to the institutions of the University of New Hampshire and Western Oregon University for supporting this research. Additionally, the author expresses his sincere appreciation for the help of the following individuals who all contributed to this research in some way: Rebecca Warner, Kathleen Bauman, Nicole (Nikki) Stoecker, Sara Elizabeth Kay Hubbard, Tracy Beckel, Becky Briggs, Jennifer Palmacci, Cortney Ravenscroft, Allison Schermerhorn, Gregory Tetrault, Vicki Banyard, Kathleen McCartney, Jack Lannamann, and Sally Ward.     

Oral sex as mate retention behavior

Men perform “mate retention” behaviors to reduce the likelihood of their partner’s infidelity. One mate retention strategy men use is to increase their partner’s relationship satisfaction by provisioning her with benefits. We recruited 351 men to investigate whether men perform oral sex on their partner as part of a broader benefit-provisioning mate retention strategy. In support of the predictions, men who reported performing more mate retention behaviors, in general, and more benefit-provisioning mate retention behaviors, in particular, also reported greater interest in and spent more time performing oral sex on their partner. We present limitations of the research and discuss the benefits of an evolutionary perspective for investigating oral sex as a mate retention behavior.     

Can we be (and stay) friends? Remaining friends after dissolution of a romantic relationship

Although many individuals report being friends with their ex-romantic partners (Wilmot, Carbaugh, & Baxter, 1985), the literature regarding post-romantic friendships is very limited. We investigated whether satisfaction in the dissolved romantic relationship could predict post-romantic friendships and friendship maintenance. We found that the more satisfied individuals were during the dissolved romance, the more likely they were to remain friends and the more likely they were to engage in friendship maintenance behaviors. We also found that friendship maintenance fully mediated the association between past romantic satisfaction and current friendship satisfaction.     

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS AT WORK:

This study focuses on those features of organizations and individuals that are associated with the development of romantic relationships among employees. Likelihood of romantic involvement was found to be negatively related to formalization and curvilinearly related to organizational size. Neither participativeness nor climate were associated with organizational romance. In addition, the data showed that women who were younger, newer, and of lower rank were most likely to enter into a relationship. Education was positively related to likelihood of romance for males, but not for females.