When and why do ideal partner preferences affect the process of initiating and maintaining romantic relationships?

Three studies explored how the traits that people ideally desire in a romantic partner, or ideal partner preferences, intersect with the process of romantic relationship initiation and maintenance. Two attraction experiments in the laboratory found that, when participants evaluated a potential romantic partner's written profile, they expressed more romantic interest in a partner whose traits were manipulated to match (vs. mismatch) their idiosyncratic ideals. However, after a live interaction with the partner, the match vs. mismatch manipulation was no longer associated with romantic interest. This pattern appeared to have emerged because participants reinterpreted the meaning of the traits as they applied to the partner, a context effect predicted by classic models of person perception (S. E. Asch, 1946). Finally, a longitudinal study of middle-aged adults demonstrated that participants evaluated a current romantic partner (but not a partner who was merely desired) more positively to the extent that the partner matched their overall pattern of ideals across several traits; the match in level of ideals (i.e., high vs. low ratings) was not relevant to participants' evaluations. In general, the match between ideals and a partner's traits may predict relational outcomes when participants are learning about a partner in the abstract and when they are actually in a relationship with the partner, but not when considering potential dating partners they have met in person.     

Negative life events and depressive symptoms in late life: Buffering effects of parental and partner bonding?

The buffering function of parental and partner bonding in the relationship between negative life events and depressive symptoms at old age was examined. A community sample of 194 people aged 65 years and older was interviewed. In particular, the control dimension of both parental and partner bonding seems to be of importance in relation to elderly depression: More psychological control is related to higher depression scores, and low partner control seems to work as a protective mechanism when negative life events are faced. Developing prevention and intervention programs aimed at optimizing bonding relationships throughout life seems advisable.     

Actor–partner interdependence of humility and relationship quality among couples transitioning to parenthood

The transition to parenthood is a challenging experience that often strains relationships, but perceiving one’s partner as humble (actor relational humility) and being perceived by one’s partner as humble (partner relational humility) were hypothesized to benefit couples during this transition. Married couples (N = 69) were tracked from the third trimester of pregnancy through 21 months postpartum. Husbands and wives provided ratings of relational humility and dyadic adjustment. Actor–partner interdependence models tested actor and partner effects of relational humility on dyadic adjustment across the transition. Although couples declined in dyadic adjustment over the transition at the same rate regardless of relational humility (counter to Hypothesis 2), those higher in relational humility reported greater dyadic adjustment at each time point during the transition (consistent with Hypothesis 1). These findings support the benefits of relational humility to relationship quality, and we call for further research into humility’s benefits during times of relationship transition.     

Facial first impressions and partner preference models: Comparable or distinct underlying structures?

Given the frequency of relationships nowadays initiated online, where impressions from face photographs may influence relationship initiation, it is important to understand how facial first impressions might be used in such contexts. We therefore examined the applicability of a leading model of verbally expressed partner preferences to impressions derived from real face images and investigated how the factor structure of first impressions based on potential partner preference-related traits might relate to a more general model of facial first impressions. Participants rated 1,000 everyday face photographs on 12 traits selected to represent (Fletcher, et al. 1999, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 72) verbal model of partner preferences. Facial trait judgements showed an underlying structure that largely paralleled the tripartite structure of Fletcher et al.'s verbal preference model, regardless of either face gender or participant gender. Furthermore, there was close correspondence between the verbal partner preference model and a more general tripartite model of facial first impressions derived from a different literature (Sutherland et al., 2013, Cognition, 127, 105), suggesting an underlying correspondence between verbal conceptual models of romantic preferences and more general models of facial first impressions.     

Do motivational interviewing behaviors predict reductions in partner aggression for men and women?

Motivational interviewing is a directive, non-confrontational intervention to promote behavior change. The current study examined therapist behaviors during a successful brief motivational interviewing intervention for physically aggressive college dating couples (Woodin & O'Leary, 2010). Forty-five minute motivational interviews with each partner were videotaped and coded using the Motivational Interviewing Treatment Integrity scale (MITI; Moyers, Martin, Manuel, & Miller, 2003). Hierarchical modeling analyses demonstrated that therapist behaviors consistent with motivational interviewing competency predicted significantly greater reductions in physical aggression perpetration following the intervention. Specifically, greater reflection to question ratios by the therapists predicted reductions in aggression for both men and women, greater percentages of open versus closed questions predicted aggression reductions for women, and there was a trend for greater levels of global therapist empathy to predict aggression reductions for women. These findings provide evidence that motivational interviewing seems to have an effect on behavior change through therapist behaviors consistent with the theoretical underpinnings of motivational interviewing.     

When does partner devaluation predict emotional distress? Prospective moderating effects of reassurance-seeking and self-esteem

Coyne's (1976b) interpersonal theory of depression asserts that devaluation and rejection by relationship partners may exacerbate depressive symptoms. We tested this assertion empirically and investigated two theoretically based moderators of this effect: reassurance-seeking and self-esteem level. Dating women (N= 134) completed measures of depression, reassurance-seeking, and self-esteem at Time 1 and a measure of depression at Time 2 six weeks later. Male partners completed a measure of devaluation of the women. Partner devaluation was not associated with increased emotional distress for women across the entire sample. However, significant moderating effects of both reassurance-seeking and self-esteem level were found. Partner devaluation predicted increased emotional distress among women who reported high levels of reassurance-seeking and among women who reported low levels of self-esteem. Results are discussed in terms of convergence with Coyne's theory.     

Relationship perceptions and persistence: do fluctuations in perceived partner commitment undermine dating relationships?

The authors propose specific temporal profiles that reflect certainty versus doubt about where a partner stands with respect to a dating relationship over time. Two multiwave longitudinal studies focused on within-participant changes in perceived partner commitment. Results from multilevel modeling indicate that individuals whose perceptions of partner commitment fluctuate over time were more likely to be in a relationship that eventually ended than were individuals whose perceptions remained relatively steady. For individuals in recently initiated relationships, the association of fluctuation in perceived partner commitment with later breakup was significant regardless of the initial level of perceived partner commitment or the trend, and for all participants, it remained significant when initial level, trend over time, and fluctuation over time of other meaningful variables were controlled.     

Who shapes the self of independents and interdependents? Explicit and implicit measures of the self's relatedness to family,friends and partner

We suggest that social relationships shape the self in different ways, depending on whether persons define themselves as independent or interdependent. While the self of independents is most strongly associated with mental representations of others to whom they are related because of their own deliberate action (e.g. friends), the self of interdependents is most strongly connected with representations of others with whom they share allocated group memberships (e.g. family members). We took both explicit (Study 1) and implicit measures (Studies 2, 3 and 4) on how strongly independent and interdependent selves are associated with self‐chosen versus allocated close others. In Studies 3 and 4, we additionally primed the independent or interdependent self. Both explicit and implicit measures indicated that mental representations of family members were more strongly associated with the interdependent self than with the independent self, while romantic partners and friends were connected with both the independent and interdependent self. Copyright © 2006 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

My partner’s stories: relationships between personal and vicarious life stories within romantic couples

In this paper, we examined relationships and differences between personal and vicarious life stories, i.e., the life stories one knows of others. Personal and vicarious life stories of both members of 51 young couples (102 participants), based on McAdams’ Life Story Interview (2008), were collected. We found significant positive relationships between participants’ personal and vicarious life stories on agency and communion themes and redemption sequences. We also found significant positive relationships between participants’ vicarious life stories about their partners and those partners’ personal life stories on agency and communion, but not redemption. Furthermore, these relationships were not explained by similarity between couples’ two personal life stories, as no associations were found between couples’ personal stories on agency, communion and redemption. These results suggest that the way we construct the vicarious life stories of close others may reflect how we construct our personal life stories.     

What do men and women want in a partner? Are educated partners always more desirable?

Previous research has shown that males value a potential partner’s physical attractiveness more than females do, whereas females value a potential partner’s socioeconomic status (SES) more than males do. But are men really so unconcerned about a potential partner’s SES? Five studies revealed that men do integrate information about a woman’s SES into their decisions on whether to consider her as a romantic partner or not. Results consistently demonstrated that male participants preferred women with lower SES. Female participants, in contrast, preferred men with higher SES. These sex differences were more pronounced when a long-term romantic relationship rather than a one-night stand was being considered. In addition, men’s lower reported likelihood of romantic contact with a woman with high SES was due to her high educational level rather than her high income. Mediational analyses showed that men perceived a potential partner with high educational level as less likeable and less faithful, and thus reported less likelihood of romantic contact.     

Mutually attracted or repulsed? Actor–partner interdependence models of Dark Triad traits and relationship outcomes

Although the Dark Triad traits – narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy – have been studied in individuals, little is known about their roles in dating relationships. Forty-five heterosexual undergraduate couples (N = 90) reported measures of the Dark Triad and relationship commitment and satisfaction. Within couples, assortative mating was slightly negative for narcissism, marginally positive for Machiavellianism, and significantly positive for psychopathy. Using actor–partner interdependence models, we explored the extent to which satisfaction mediated the direct associations between the Dark Triad and commitment. Men’s satisfaction marginally mediated the women’s Dark Triad → men’s commitment negative association. Among the three Dark Triad subscales, satisfaction marginally mediated both of the actor-effect-based psychopathy → commitment negative associations. We discuss possible implications for couples’ relationship strategies.     

Effects of communication apprehension,familiarity of partner,and topic on selected “women's language” features

In keeping with Lakoff's (1975) notion that the use of women's language (WL) conveys uncertainty on the part of the speaker, the influence of communication apprehension, familiarity of partner, and topic on the use of selected WL forms was investigated. In dyadic conversation with a female friend or stranger, 71 female university students, who had completed the Personal Report of Communication Apprehension—Long, discussed a familiar or an unfamiliar topic. Multiple-regression analyses revealed that (1) communication apprehension was positively related to the use of question intonation, (2) familiarity of topic and partner were negatively related to the use of hedges, and (3) familiarity of topic was positively related to the use of intensifiers. There were no intercorrelations of the linguistic forms. These results challenge the notion that WL forms actually cohere to form a kind of language and suggest that the influence of social and psychological variables on the use of WL is much more complex and multifaceted than Lakoff believed.This article is based on portions of an Honour's thesis completed by the second author, and was presented at the Annual Convention of the Canadian Psychological Association held in Ottawa, Ontario, June 1990.     

The way I make you feel: How relatedness and compassionate goals promote partner’s relationship satisfaction

Research has investigated the role of three basic psychological needs as proposed by Self-Determination Theory – autonomy, competence, and relatedness – in explaining relationship satisfaction. Research has also explored how relatedness specifically increases prosocial motivations in the individual but has not focused on the role of relatedness in shaping partners’ relationship functioning over time. This research takes a dyadic perspective that proposes that relatedness fulfillment fosters compassionate goals, which in turn predict increases in partner’s satisfaction. Forty-five heterosexual dating couples were asked about their relatedness need fulfillment, compassionate goals, and relationship satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction was assessed again four weeks later. Results showed that one’s own relatedness fulfillment, but not one’s partner’s relatedness fulfillment at Time 1 uniquely predicts partner’s increased satisfaction at Time 2, and that this is mediated by one’s own higher compassionate goals. These findings highlight the dyadic importance of having one’s needs met in promoting relationship functioning over time.     

“Sometimes cathartic. Sometimes quite raw”: Benefit and harm in an intimate partner violence trial

Research on intimate partner violence (IPV) has increased over the past two decades, however empirical research on potential harm to participants is limited. The aim of this study was to assess whether 272 women involved in a general practice based IPV intervention trial (weave) reported more benefit or harm, whether this differed by intervention or comparison group, and what types of benefit and harm were reported. Feedback was obtained via adapted Consequences of Screening Tool, visual analogue scale and open-ended question in baseline, 6-month, 12-month and 24-month surveys (all participants), and semi-structured interviews (subset of 28 participants). Participants in both the intervention and comparison groups tended to respond positively on all quantitative items, although on a number of items, the intervention group responded even more positively. At 6 and 12 months, 51.1% and 54.7% of all participants, respectively, reported their quality of life as becoming better and over 40% of women at each time-point, indicated they felt more positive about themselves as a result of some aspect of their involvement in weave. 42% of all participants reported their home lives becoming less difficult. In qualitative analyses, positive themes identified were altruism, value, evaluation of relationship, validation, self-awareness, empowerment, positive reinforcement, catharsis, motivation to seek help, and response to the research process. Negative themes identified were short-term emotional reactions, long-term emotional reactions, recall, retraumatization and minimization. Many participants indicated short-term negative emotions had been balanced by longer-term positive benefits. Further research is needed regarding characteristics and experiences of the small minority of participants who did not report positive benefit.     

Children’s developing views of social excluders: A dissociation between social evaluation and partner preference

When facing social exclusion, children seek to strengthen existing social connections and form new ones. This study asked whether they also make strategic choices about the targets of their affiliative goals. Three- to six-year-olds (N = 69; 36 female; mostly non-Hispanic White) observed characters acting inclusively or exclusively. All ages viewed excluders more negatively than includers, but only five- and six-year-olds preferred includers as play partners. Despite easily detecting and remembering exclusion events, younger children expressed no play partner preference. Children's verbal justifications revealed that older children choose partners more carefully and draw on a richer understanding of exclusion. More generally, the initial dissociation between social evaluation and preference formation underscores that these are distinct processes with different developmental trajectories.     

When is your partner willing to help you? The role of daily goal conflict and perceived gratitude

Motivation to provide help might vary from day-to-day. Previous research showed that autonomously motivated help (i.e., helping because you enjoy/value this behavior), compared with controlled motivated help (i.e., helping because you feel you should do so), has beneficial effects for both the help provider and recipient. In a sample of chronic pain patients and partners (N?=?64 dyads), this diary study examined whether (1) same- and prior day perceived gratitude (i.e., received appreciation for providing support) in partners and (2) same- and prior day goal conflicts in partners (i.e., amount of interference between helping one’s partner in pain and other goals) predicted partners’ helping motivation. Partners provided more autonomously motivated help on days that they perceived more gratitude from their partner and when they experienced less goal conflicts. Lagged analyses indicated that perceived gratitude (but not goal conflict) even predicted an increase in autonomous helping motivation the next day. Implications are discussed in the context of Self-Determination Theory.     

Parent–child warmth as a potential mediator of childhood exposure to intimate partner violence and positive adulthood functioning

Background and Objectives: Links between childhood exposure to intimate partner violence (IPV) and adult functioning are clear, but less research has examined the potential underpinnings of this association, especially the long-term effects of the parent–child relationship on adult well-being. We hypothesized that (i) childhood exposure to IPV would be negatively related to parent–child warmth and positively related to symptoms of psychopathology during adulthood and (ii) the relationship between IPV exposure and positive outcomes in adulthood (i.e., high life satisfaction and low psychopathology) would be mediated by parent–child warmth. Design: Participants included 703 Swedish adults (20–24). Methods: Participants responded to a self-report survey assessing violence exposure, parental warmth in childhood, and current mental health and well-being. Using multivariate regression and path analysis, models of the relationships between IPV exposure, parent–child warmth, symptoms of psychopathology during adulthood, and life satisfaction were examined. Mediation models were considered exploratory. Results: IPV exposure was related to lower levels of parent–child warmth, higher levels of psychopathology symptoms, and lower life satisfaction. The relationship between IPV exposure and positive outcomes in adulthood was mediated by parent–child warmth. Conclusions: Warm parent–child interactions may play a key role in long-term positive functioning for those exposed to IPV during childhood.