Anticipation of future identities: A control theory approach to identity development within the context of serious dating relationships

Control theory was used to investigate identity microprocesses (i.e., self-verification)within the context of serious dating relationships. Forty-two college women importance for, and certainty about, their future career identities served as targets in the study. The targets and their dating partners participated in a procedure in which the targets received career information that was contrary to their beliefs about their future identities. Results revealed that women who were highly certain about their future career identity, regardless of its importance level, engaged in more self-verification efforts than did women who were uncertain. A comparison of congruent (partner herself) and incongruent dating partners revealed that congruent partners were the most overt in their disagreement with the contrary information. Certainty and partner congruence predicted the target's self-rating change following the identity disruption. Partner congruence accounted for a substantial amount of variance in self-rating change, indicating that close relationships provide an influential context for identity development.     

Allure of negative feedback: self-verification strivings among depressed persons.

We propose that people with negative self-views are rejected because they gravitate to partners who view them unfavorably. In relation to nondepressed college students (n = 28), depressives (n = 13) preferred interaction partners who evaluated them unfavorably (Study 1). Similarly, in relation to nondepressives (n = 106), depressives (n = 10) preferred friends or dating partners who evaluated them unfavorably (Study 2). Dysphorics (n = 6) were more inclined to seek unfavorable feedback from their roommates than were nondepressives (n = 16); feedback-seeking activities of dysphorics were also associated with later rejection (Study 3). Finally, people with negative self-views (n = 37) preferentially solicited unfavorable feedback, although receiving such feedback made them unhappy, in comparison with people with positive self-views (n = 42; Study 4). It seems a desire for self-verification compels people with negative self-views to seek unfavorable appraisals.     

PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, SELF-ESTEEM, AND WOMEN'S DATING RELATIONSHIP OUTCOMES

Self-verification theory implies that people with negative self-views may be drawn to abusive partners who mistreat them. However, abusive partner behavior differs from the types of partner feedback typically examined within a self-verification framework, which could render generalization to abuse problematic. We propose that self-enhancement theory better accounts for the effects of abuse on relationship outcomes. Self-enhancement theory suggests that people are drawn to others who treat them favorably, regardless of people's own self-views. We investigated the effects of abusive feedback from dating partners, relative to women's Self-esteem levels, on relationship intimacy and stability. Predictions based on both self-verification and self-enhancement theories were tested cross-sectionally and with a subsample of women 6 weeks after the initial assessment. Results were most consistent with self-enhancement theory; partner abuse was related to lesser relationship stability and intimacy. More limited support was obtained for self-verification theory. Importantly, women with lower self-esteem did not endorse greater stability or intimacy as a function of receiving psychological abuse. We conclude that self-enhancement theory better explains the link between psychological abuse and relationship outcomes, although self-verification theory may account for reactions to other types of partner behavior.     

The Effects of Perceived Dysfunctional Family-of-Origin Rules on the Dating Relationships of Young Adults

This study examined the effects of perceived dysfunctional family-of-origin rules on the dating relationships of young adult offspring. A sample of 322 students from three universities completed self-report questionnaires measuring dysfunctional family-of-origin rules, current dating behaviors, dating anxiety, relationship satisfaction and commitment. The results indicated that dysfunctional family-of-origin rules were positively related to dating anxiety, and negatively related to advancement in dating stages, relationship satisfaction, and commitment in the dating relationships of young adults. There also was a tendency for young adults from families with dysfunctional rules to date later and less frequently than young adults from families with more functional rules, although they dated about the same number of partners. Implications for future research and clinical interventions are discussed.     

Assessment of relationship thinking in dating relationships

In a series of five studies a method of assessing relationship thinking and its role in close relationship dynamics was developed. These studies were carried out with college students who responded to questionnaires. Studies 1 and 2 focused on identifying items representing the content and frequency of relationship thinking about participants' present dating relationships. Studies 3 and 4 examined personal characteristics, general relationship schema, and subjective conditions that were related to relationship thinking. Study 5 identified the ability of relationship thinking to predict individuals' perceptions of an interaction with their partners. Results uncovered three types of relationship thinking: partner, positive affect, and network. Relationship thinking was related in expected ways to several personal characteristics, subjective conditions, and general relationship schema. Relationship thinking was predictive of perceptions of distress-maintaining and relationship-enhancing interactions with the dating partners. The findings suggest increased attention to the social cognitive aspects of close relationships.     

Social benefits of humility: Initiating and maintaining romantic relationships

Previous research has highlighted the social nature of humility. In three studies, we provide evidence that humility facilitates the initiation and maintenance of romantic relationships. In Study 1, very humble potential dating partners, relative to less humble partners, were rated more favorably and were more likely to elicit intentions to initiate a romantic relationship. Study 2 was a conceptual replication of Study 1 that provided evidence that participants find humble potential dating partners more attractive than arrogant dating partners. In Study 3, we examined perceptions of humility in participants in proximal or long-distance relationships. We found that humility buffers against unforgiveness in long-distant relationships. Although long-distance relationships were associated with greater unforgiveness, this effect was only present when partners were viewed as having low humility. Together, these findings highlight the social benefits of humility in initiating and maintaining romantic relationships.     

Giving up and giving in: the costs and benefits of daily sacrifice in intimate relationships

This research provided the first empirical investigation of how approach and avoidance motives for sacrifice in intimate relationships are associated with personal well-being and relationship quality. In Study 1, the nature of everyday sacrifices made by dating partners was examined, and a measure of approach and avoidance motives for sacrifice was developed. In Study 2, which was a 2-week daily experience study of college students in dating relationships, specific predictions from the theoretical model were tested and both longitudinal and dyadic components were included. Whereas approach motives for sacrifice were positively associated with personal well-being and relationship quality, avoidance motives for sacrifice were negatively associated with personal well-being and relationship quality. Sacrificing for avoidance motives was particularly detrimental to the maintenance of relationships over time. Perceptions of a partner's motives for sacrifice were also associated with well-being and relationship quality. Implications for the conceptualization of relationship maintenance processes along these 2 dimensions are discussed.     

The joys of genuine giving: Approach and avoidance sacrifice motivation and authenticity

Why do sacrifices undertaken in pursuit of approach and avoidance goals differentially influence well‐being and relationship quality? A cross‐sectional study (Study 1), an experiment (Study 2), and a 2‐week daily experience study (Study 3) demonstrate that the personal and interpersonal outcomes of approach and avoidance sacrifice goals in dating and married relationships are mediated by felt authenticity. When people sacrificed for approach goals such as to make their partner happy, they felt more authentic, in turn contributing to greater personal and relationship well‐being. However, when they sacrificed for avoidance goals such as to avoid conflict, they felt less authentic, in turn detracting from personal and relationship well‐being. Implications for research and theory on motivational processes in close relationships are discussed.     

Why people self-verify.

Why do people choose interaction partners who see them as they see themselves? Self-verification theorists propose that a desire to bolster perceptions of predictability and control underlies such activities. In contrast, advocates of positivity strivings argue that people choose such interaction partners in the hope of making themselves feel good. Two studies tested these competing explanations by examining the spontaneous verbalizations of participants as they chose interaction partners. The results suggested that positivity as well as self-verification strivings caused participants with positive self-views to choose partners who appraised them favorably. The epistemic considerations underlying self-verification processes, however, best explained why people with negative self-views chose partners who appraised them unfavorably.     

Strategies of influence in close relationships

In this study, we examined how close relationship partners spontaneously influence each other while they discussed an existing problem in their relationship. According to theories of social influence, people in important, self-defining relationships should experience the relationship itself as a potent source of influence. Thus, they are likely to rely on the relationship as a source of power and to use influence strategies that reference relationship norms and values. Consistent with this reasoning, dating partners who were subjectively closer to their partners/relationships were more likely to reference the relationship in their influence attempts than those who were less subjectively close. Furthermore, referencing the relationship was an effective influence strategy. Greater referencing was associated with opinion shifts during discussions for both agents and targets of influence, with each compromising toward the other's position. In contrast, greater use of negative coercion as an influence strategy (e.g., derogation of the partner or punishment) was associated with less compromise.     

Interpersonal regulation of relationship partners’ security: A causal chain analysis

Security in relationship partners’ positive regard promotes high-quality close relationships, and insecurity in partners’ regard undermines relationship quality. Hence, people may be motivated to dispel their close partners’ insecurity. The current research used an experimental-causal-chain design to test a novel model of the interpersonal regulation of relationship partners’ security. Manipulated perceptions of relationship partners’ insecurity increased the activation of security regulation goals (i.e., goals to improve partners’ security and dispel their insecurity) and selective attention to threat-relevant information (Study 1). In turn, manipulated security regulation goals increased the expression of positive regard for relationship partners, particularly in negatively evaluated and important domains (Study 2). In turn, manipulated expression of positive regard increased partners’ relationship security and satisfaction, particularly when partners had chronic doubts about the extent to which they were valued (Study 3). These studies provide compelling causal evidence for a relationship-protective response to detection of partner insecurity; people try to dispel the relationship threat posed by an insecure partner by adopting security regulation goals, which motivate expressions of positive regard that increase partner security.     

Suspicious minds: The motive to acquire relationship‐threatening information

In four studies, we obtained evidence for the reliability and validity of a 21‐item scale designed to measure a new theoretical construct: individual differences in the motivation to acquire relationship‐threatening information (hereafter, MARTI). Study 1 provided evidence for the MARTI scale's reliability and discriminant validity, revealing that it was reliable and not significantly correlated with measures of the Big Five personality traits, adult attachment styles, or more general social orientations. Studies 2 and 3 provided evidence for the scale's convergent and discriminant validity, showing that dating partners with higher MARTI scores (i.e., those who were more motivated to acquire relationship‐threatening information) scored lower in relational trust and reported engaging in more “suspicion behaviors.” Study 4 provided behavioral evidence for the scale's predictive validity, revealing that (a) dating partners with higher MARTI scores were more likely to break up within 5 months, and (b) the breakup rate was most pronounced for dating partners who scored higher on the scale and who also reported being less close. We discuss how this new construct and measure can be used to study important relationship dynamics.

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Online dating system design and relational decision making: Choice,algorithms, and control

One of the most popular ways to initiate romantic relationships today is through online dating. Typical dating systems follow one of three formats, see‐and‐screen (e.g., Match.com ), algorithm (e.g., eHarmony.com ), and blended (e.g., OkCupid.com ), which differ in the amount of individual control and algorithmic involvement they offer users. Do different features affect daters' decisions and expectations regarding relational development with selected partners? Study 1 indicated that although daters appreciated the personal control over mate selection afforded by see‐and‐screen systems, they also enjoyed using algorithmic systems. Study 2 found that blended systems provided “the best of both worlds” by offering dual benefits of control and algorithmic validation during mate selection. Findings shed light on self‐determination theory, decision making, and relationship formation more broadly.     

Physical attractiveness, romantic love, and equity restoration in dating relationships

Measures of physical attractiveness, romantic love, and dominance were given to a sample of 123 dating couples. Contrary to expectation, attractive subjects were not loved more than those judged as less attractive. As suggested by equity theory, however, subjects who believed that their partners were the more attractive member of the dyad loved their partners more (p < .05) and indicated greater submission in their relationships (p < .01) than those who believed that they were the more attractive member. The results suggest that as the dating relationship progresses, the relative difference in attractiveness between partners may become a more important determinant of attraction than overall level of attractiveness.     

Physical Attractiveness,Romantic Love,and Equity Restoration in Dating Relationships

Measures of physical attractiveness, romantic love, and dominance were given to a sample of 123 dating couples. Contrary to expectation, attractive subjects were not loved more than those judged as less attractive. As suggested by equity theory, however, subjects who believed that their partners were the more attractive member of the dyad loved their partners more (p < .05) and indicated greater submission in their relationships (p < .01) than those who believed that they were the more attractive member. The results suggest that as the dating relationship progresses, the relative difference in attractiveness between partners may become a more important determinant of attraction than overall level of attractiveness.     

Optimistic,Approach-oriented,and Avoidance Strategies in Social Situations: Three Studies on Loneliness and Peer Relationships

The aim of the three studies was to examine the extent to which the cognitive and behavioural strategies young adults apply in social situations are associated with their subsequent feelings of loneliness, their peer relationships, and social behaviour. In Study 1, 303 young adults first filled in the Strategy and Attribution Questionnaire (SAQ) and, 1 year later, the revised UCLA Loneliness scale. In Study 2, 71 young adults filled in first the SAQ and, 4 months later, the UCLA Loneliness scale and a sociometric questionnaire measuring popularity and unpopularity. In Study 3, 35 young adults who had participated in Study 1 were rated by student tutors according to their social behaviour in an academic group situation. The results showed that the less optimistic the subjects were, the less they applied an approach-oriented strategy, and the more they used a social avoidance strategy, the more lonely they were. Furthermore, the more they used an approach-oriented strategy and the less they reported social avoidance, the more successful they were in their peer relationships. These two strategies were also associated with the ways in which an observer perceived their behaviour in a group situation, whereas social optimism was not.     

Overcoming Adversity in Adolescence: Narratives of Resilience

Our overarching goal is to understand the unfolding of resilient development. Our person-based approach is based on a follow-back design, enabling us to examine previously recorded adolescent clinical and adult attachment interviews of now-competent young adults who experienced significant adversity during their adolescent years.

In their adolescent years, these young adults encountered three serious misfortunes. Between 13 and 16 years old (middle adolescence) they were sent to live in a psychiatric hospital, from 2 to 12 months. Their physical home ties with their parents and community friends were abruptly severed, as they lived full-time in High Valley Hospital. In addition, experiencing a serious psychiatric disorder leading to hospitalization, regardless of how time limited, can markedly change the experience of self, often leading to lowered self-regard and lowered personal competence. The label of psychiatric patient is made even more indelible by living in a psychiatric hospital. Their third serious misfortune was trauma. Many of the young adults previously reported serious child and adolescent physical abuse at the hands of immediate family members or other close relatives. Using a profile definition (ego development levels, attachment coherence, close relationships, and social competence), we identified nine young adults who were now functioning in the upper 50th percentile of all former patients and same age high school nonpatient adolescents. After being identified, our intensive study of the narratives embedded in earlier interviews revealed key themes for these resilient young adults—including agency, reflectiveness, relationship recruiting—differentiating them from contrasting young adults, who were also former patients. We illustrate these differences through narratives of two resilient young adults.     

恋爱中大学生依恋焦虑与心理健康的关系：恋爱关系质量的中介和调节作用

依恋焦虑与个体心理健康存在密切关联,恋爱关系质量可能在二者关系中发挥着重要作用。本文以595名处于恋爱关系中的大学生为被试,探讨了恋爱关系质量在大学生依恋焦虑与心理健康关系中的作用。结果表明,恋爱关系质量在大学生依恋焦虑与心理健康的关系中既发挥着中介作用,也发挥着调节作用。一方面,依恋焦虑能够通过影响恋爱关系质量对心理健康造成影响,另一方面,高质量的恋爱关系能够缓解依恋焦虑对心理健康的消极影响。     

Effects of Abusive Parenting,Caretaker Arrests,and Deviant Behavior on Dating Violence Among Homeless Young Adults

Although dating violence is widespread among young adult homeless populations, its risk factors are poorly understood by scholars. To address this gap, this study uses a social learning theory to examine the effects of abusive parenting and caretaker arrests on dating violence among 172 homeless young adults. Results from path analyses revealed that child physical abuse and caretaker arrests were positively associated with engaging in a greater number of school fights, which, in turn, was strongly and positively correlated with participating in more deviant subsistence strategies (e.g., stealing) since being on the street. Young people who participated in a greater number of delinquent acts were more likely to report higher levels of dating violence. Study results highlight the extent of social learning within the lives of homeless young adults, which is evident prior to their leaving home and while they are on the street.