The subjective experience of intimacy,passion, and commitment in heterosexual loving relationships

Lovers’responses to open-ended questions concerning the experience and communication of intimacy, passion, and commitment were content- and factor-analyzed. These analyses resulted in six ways of experiencing intimacy (openness, sex, affection, supportiveness, togetherness, and quiet company); two ways of experiencing passion (romance and sexual intimacy); and five ways of experiencing commitment (supportiveness, expressions of love, fidelity, expressions of commitment, and consideration and devotion). These results suggest that love, intimacy, passion, and commitment are best conceived as related, overlapping gestalts in the subjective experiences of actual lovers.     

On being lonely: fear of one's own aggression as an impediment to intimacy

This paper considers loneliness from the point of view of compromise formation and the development of fantasy as a means of defending against painful affect. Our idea is that at least one strand of loneliness derives from longing for an ideal object with whom one would never have to feel aggression and from whom no aggressive actions would have to be tolerated. The development of such a fantasy in a middle-aged man is traced to early loss of a parent with missed mourning, and is shown to be ameliorated by psychoanalytic treatment that allowed the mourning to take place.     

Loneliness and fear of intimacy among adolescents who were taught not to trust strangers during childhood

This study explored feelings of loneliness and fear of intimacy among adolescents as a function of whether they were taught not to trust strangers during childhood. Eighty college students and their parents completed the Revised UCLA Loneliness Scale, both versions of the Fear of Intimacy Scale (FIS-D and FIS-F), and a background information questionnaire. It was found that students whose parents taught them not to trust strangers during childhood had greater fear of intimacy. Further, females who were taught to distrust strangers also experienced more loneliness than did their male counterparts, as well as females and males who were not taught to distrust strangers.     

Aspects of fear of personal death,levels of awareness,and religious commitment

This study used a multidimensional and multilevel approach to study the relation between fear of death and religious commitment. A multidimensional self-report measure of fear of personal death, four TAT cards known to elicit a relatively high frequency of death themes, and an index of Jewish religious commitment were administered to 178 young male Jewish Israelis. Unidimensional and multidimensional analysis of these measures suggested that Jewish religious commitment is related to a heightened specific sensitivity to death at different levels of awareness.     

Relapse of anxiety-related fear and avoidance: Conceptual analysis of treatment with acceptance and commitment therapy

Excessive fear and avoidance in relatively safe situations can lead to a narrowing of one's behavioral repertoire and less engagement with valued aspects of living. Ultimately, these processes can reach clinical levels, as seen in anxiety, trauma, and obsessive–compulsive disorders. Research on the basic behavioral processes underlying successful treatment with exposure therapy is growing, yet little is known about the mechanisms contributing to clinical relapse. Until recently, these mechanisms have largely been conceptualized in terms of Pavlovian return of fear, with relatively little research into operant processes. In the current paper, we briefly review translational research in anxiety disorders and the connections between fear and avoidance, focusing on recent work in the acquisition, extinction, and relapse of avoidance behavior and the generalization of this learning through arbitrary symbolic relations. We then introduce one possible treatment approach to mitigating clinical relapse, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and provide a conceptual analysis for why ACT may be especially well-situated to address this issue. Finally, we end with potential directions for future research on treatment and relapse of anxiety disorders.     

Family dances and the rhythms of intimacy

Over time each couple evolves its own repetitive, rhythmic patterns of loving, fighting, etc. This dance is picked up by the couple's children and becomes kinesthetic, rather than intellectual, knowledge of how to be in an intimate relationship. For each new generation of couples, making one dance out of two is the unspoken challenge to a marriage. Often mates do not fit into each other's dance, do not know the right moves, and thus remain rhythmically unfamiliar to one another, making it difficult to live in comfortable intimacy.It is possible to quickly and graphically represent these family dances in a therapy session. From the dances of the family of origin to the current dance of a couple, the impact of the rhythmic patterns of intimacy can be seen. The objective of performing a couple's family dance is to bring the rhythmic patterns into awareness and to develop a powerful metaphor for use throughout therapy.Sandra Watanabe-Hammond, BS, OTR, a co-founder of the Boston Family Institute and a faculty member of the Family Institute of Chicago, also is in private practice in Chicago at 253 E. Delaware Place and at 2 Pine Circle, Urbana, IL.     

Cultural appropriation and the intimacy of groups

Philosophical Studies - What could ground normative restrictions concerning cultural appropriation in cases where they are not grounded by independent considerations such as property rights or...     

counselor nonverbal self‐disclosure and fear of intimacy during employment counseling: an aptitude—treatment interaction illustration

This study investigated the effects of nonverbal self‐disclosure within the dynamic of aptitude—treatment interaction. Participants (N= 94) watched a video of a career counseling session aimed at helping the jobseeker to find employment. The video was then edited to display 3 varying degrees of nonverbal self‐disclosure. In conjunction with the measure of counselor assessment, the authors measured the fear‐of‐intimacy level by using the Doi and Thelen (1993) model. Results showed that when self‐disclosure does not have an effect on counselor assessment, a moderator effect due to the fear of intimacy becomes evident. Implications for research and practice are presented.     

Divine intimacy and the problem of horrendous evil

The problem of horrendous evil is the problem of reconciling the existence of horrendous evils with the existence of a God that is nevertheless good to individuals. A solution to the problem along the lines of that proposed by Morilyn McCord Adams resolves the problem by appeal to various sorts of intimacy with God on the part of the participants in horrendous evils. One half of the problem concerns the victims of horrendous evils. A second half of the problem of horrendous evil is the same problem for those perpetrators of horrendous evils who also potentially have their lives defeated. The present paper argues not only that the intimacy such an overall strategy appeals to fails to solve the first half of the problem, but also that it makes no progress at all on the second half.     

When curiosity breeds intimacy: taking advantage of intimacy opportunities and transforming boring conversations

Curious people seek knowledge and new experiences. In 3 studies, we examined whether, when, and how curiosity contributes to positive social outcomes between unacquainted strangers. Study 1 (98 college students) showed that curious people expect to generate closeness during intimate conversations but not during small talk; less curious people anticipated poor outcomes in both situations. We hypothesized that curious people underestimate their ability to bond with unacquainted strangers during mundane conversations. Studies 2 (90 college students) and 3 (106 college students) showed that curious people felt close to partners during intimate and small-talk conversations; less curious people only felt close when the situation offered relationship-building exercises. Surprise at the pleasure felt during this novel, uncertain situation partially mediated the benefits linked to curiosity. We found evidence of slight asymmetry between self and partner reactions. Results could not be attributed to physical attraction or positive affect. Collectively, results suggest that positive social interactions benefit from an open and curious mind-set.     

The assessment of social intimacy

Research exploring the psychological importance of closeness with others has been hampered by the absence of a reliable and valid measure of this variable. The development of the Miller Social Intimacy Scale (MSIS), a 17-item measure of the maximum level of intimacy currently experienced, is presented. Evidence for internal consistency and test-retest reliability as well as for convergent, discriminant and construct validity is discussed in the context of the need for further scientific exploration of this important phenomenon.     

Predictors of alcohol consumption on dates and sense of intimacy

The drinking culture in Western societies infiltrates many aspects of life, including early romantic relationships. This study investigated factors that predict drinking on dates and the impact of date drinking on feelings of intimacy. Regression analyses of questionnaire data revealed that expectancies, general drinking tendencies, and partner's drinking as well as their interactions with gender and ethnicity contributed to explaining alcohol consumption on dates. Intimacy was significantly predicted by alcohol usage on dates, but the effects of drinking by self and partner varied by gender. Women's own drinking positively predicted their sense of intimacy, but their partner's drinking was linked to decreased intimacy. Men's reports showed significant effects but in the opposite direction. The Discussion section considers implications for dating and future research.