Seeing ‘the dark passenger’ – Reflections on the emotional trauma of conducting post-disaster research

This paper acknowledges ‘the [my] dark passenger’ of emotional vicarious trauma associated with conducting post-disaster research. Post-disaster research is tightly bounded by ethics and professional codes of conduct requiring us to be vigilant about the impact of our work on our participants. However, as a disaster researcher, I have been affected by vicarious trauma. ‘Direct personal’ vicarious trauma is where I experienced trauma associated with witnessing devastation making a professional separation from my objective subjects impossible. ‘Indirect professional’ vicarious trauma occurred when PhD students and others under my supervision that I sent to disaster affected places, experienced significant negative emotional responses and trauma as they interviewed their participants. In these situations, I became traumatised by my lack of training and reflected on how the emphasis on the participants came at the expense of the researcher in my care. Limited literature exists that focuses on the vicarious trauma experienced by researchers, and their supervisors working in post-disaster places and this paper is a contribution to that body of scholarship. In acknowledging and exploring the emotions and vicarious trauma of researchers embedded in landscapes of disaster, it becomes possible for future researchers to pre-empt this phenomenon and to consider ways that they might manage this.     

Exile and bereavement

In this paper I describe the disruptions of external and internal reality in the experience of exile, the interplay of these, and the impact of bereavement in the context of trauma. I consider the factors which disturb the mourning process in such circumstances. I draw upon the psychoanalytic literature, particularly that related to the Holocaust and other ‘man-made disasters’, and upon my own clinical material. Particular attention is drawn to the importance of acknowledgment and containment, and to awareness of the symbolic value of traditional mourning practices.     

A Psychotherapist Retires

Abstract

This article reflects on a year of my personal experience as I prepared to retire from my psychotherapy practice of 40 years. While aware that this might be a poignant experience for bothmyself and my clients, my own surprising emotions and dreams demanded that I pay attention to myself. By acknowledging my feelings I was able to direct sensitive attention to the clients' feelings of loss and sadness. Finding the balance between the sadness that filled the therapy room and my own enthusiasm for what awaited me outside that room, was not a simple task     

A Multimodal Approach in Dealing with Chronic Epstein-Barr Viral Syndrome

Chronic Epstein-Barr Viral Syndrome (CEBV) is a puzzling and controversial disease with a variety of symptoms that frequently include depression and emotional debilitation. The following article describes CEBV, offers some diagnostic signs, and suggests a possible treatment strategy based on the multimodal approach. I am writing this letter in an attempt to try and explain the way my life has changed due to an illness called Chronic Epstein-Barr Viral Syndrome, or CEBV. I was not diagnosed at first. … I saw doctor after doctor and (had) test after test before being diagnosed … all of this began three years ago. I started getting weak, fatigued, headaches, swollen glands, sleep disturbances, light-headed and having pain and weakness in my joints. I soon was unable to perform at work or in my various sports activities. I sought help medically … he (the physician) put me in the hospital and ran numerous tests, all showing normal … this did not help either, I was still sick.     

The Contextuality and Existentiality of Emotional Trauma

In this article I chronicle the emergence of two interrelated themes that crystallized in my investigations of emotional trauma during the more than 16 years that followed my own experience of traumatic loss. One pertains to the context-embeddedness of emotional trauma and the other to the claim that the possibility of emotional trauma is built into our existential constitution. I find a reconciliation and synthesis of these two themes—trauma's contextuality and its existentiality—in the recognition of the bonds of deep emotional attunement we can form with one another in virtue of our common finitude.     

Terror in the countertransference: extreme anxiety as a clinician and organisational leader and its effects

Experiencing fear is a central feature of managing disturbed states of minds. In this paper, I will describe the experience of being terrified by a patient who was overtaken by extreme anxiety. Aetiologically, I will suggest that the lack of containment created terror in her mind. I will also describe my experience of leadership in a voluntary organisation. Using Hopper’s concept of a fourth basic assumption, I will highlight the omnipresence of annihilatory anxiety in an example of organisational trauma. I will suggest that focusing on the issues of countertransference, working through experiences of being terrorised and paying attention to how you emotionally respond are crucial to lessening terror.     

Murakami,Connoisseur of Uncertainty: Commentary on Paper by Thomas Rosbrow

My discussion embroiders around Thomas Rosbrow's view of Murakami as a “trauma analyst.” I highlight the ways in which Murakami's writing reflects his keen sensitivity to existential uncertainty and how he seems to understand trauma, much as I do, as a shattering experience that destroys the certainties that organize psychological life and generates efforts at self restoration. Although I share Rosbrow's view that “After the Quake” depicts a character's awakening from the dissociative manifestations of trauma, I spell out how my perspective on this process differs from his.     

Reply to Reviews of Awakening the Dreamer: Clinical Journeys by Philip M. Bromberg

I reply here to reviews by three inspiring thinkers, Ethel Person, Susan Sands, and Allan Schore who, though uniquely different from one another in their conceptual frames of reference, share a sensibility as clinicians and creative scholars that has led them to engage and appreciate my work in depth while enriching it with their individual perspectives. Ethel Person's review is meaningful to me for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that we think very much alike about “how we are” with patients despite the diversity in our families of origin. Her thinking, which extends the boundaries established by any one school of thought, transcends doctrine, especially that of “technique.” I am equally grateful to Susan Sands, whose review stimulated a dialogue between us about the similarities and differences in our views of the analyst's personal role in enactments with severe trauma survivors and whether there is reason to distinguish between life-threatening and developmental trauma. My reply to Allan Schore's review satisfies a long-standing wish to engage with him in dialogue about what he refers to in his review as “a remarkable overlap between Bromberg's work in clinical psychoanalysis and my work in developmental neuropsychoanalysis, a deep resonance between his treatment model and my regulation theory” (this issue, p. 755). In my reply I comment from my own vantage point on how our shared commitment to an interpersonal and intersubjective perspective—my interpersonal/relational treatment model and his “Interpersonal Neurobiology” led us to arrive at overlapping views on developmental trauma, attachment, the dyadic regulation of states of consciousness, and dissociation.     

On being educated in the west: The disruption in self as a narrative and authenticity and inauthenticity of self

In this article I have argued that the issue of the effect of education on one getting educated is an ontological one. I make my case with the help of Heidegger's concepts of Dasein, and man's-being-in-the-world. I first argue that tradition is constitutive of one's being, and that man's being is in-a-tradition, and then make the case that education is located in tradition, and that education is a process by which one is initiated into that tradition. As a consequence getting educated in a tradition outside one's own has the effect of dislocating the being of the one getting educated.     

Talking About Talking About Patients

Several years ago, I talked about a case in a clinical seminar. I presented the work in a style that is different from usual because I was experimenting with how to best evoke the experience of being with this patient for my listeners. This paper is a continuation of that presentation, now through written rather than spoken word. In writing it, I struggled with the same dilemma of how to evoke the ambience, the feel of being with this patient. I begin with a discussion of some of the dilemmas involved in writing up clinical work when the aim is to stay close to the experience rather than to illustrate theoretical or technical points. I present a few sample vignettes of my work with this patient and then an analysis of how my writing style, including use of sounds, grammar, and word placement, contributes to evoking experience. I continue with a brief discussion of my experiences in presenting the case in the seminar and use these experiences to highlight aspects of the case. I ask the reader to become personally involved in the experiment by paying attention to what is evoked when reading the material.     

Transgenerational transmission of indigestible facts: from trauma,deadly ghosts and mental voids to meaning‐making interpretations

Abstract: In this paper¹ I will discuss clinical material and make some hypotheses on how to work with patients for whom trans‐generational transmission of trauma is an issue. Basing my hypothesis on two clinical cases, I will propose a way of dealing with undigested facts, the fabric of trauma, which generate deadly ghosts and mental voids that are transmitted from one generation to the next. I will propose a way of formulating interpretations for the unthinkable to become thinkable and find a representation in the mind of patients who suffer from transgenerationally transmitted trauma. Some thoughts will be given to the maternal and the paternal transmitters of trauma in relation to child development issues.     

Recovery Recovered

The most controversial condition that the AGM theory of rational belief change places on belief contraction is the recovery condition. The condition is controversial because of a series of putative counterexamples due (separately) to I. Levi and S. O. Hansson. In this paper we show that the conflicts that Levi and Hansson arrange between AGM contraction and our intuitions about how to give up beliefs are merely apparent. We argue that these conflicts disappear once we attend more closely to the identification of the beliefs contracted away in each counterexample case. Since, on our view, speakers" belief contraction intentions are often more complicated than they may first appear, we are led to develop apparatus for thinking about the communication and identification of those intentions. Our argument refocuses attention on the difficult question of how to apply the AGM theory to particular cases.     

Reflections on Freud's Dora Case After 48 Years

I revisit Freud's case of Dora from the vantage point of current literary and psychoanalytic perspectives. Mahony (this issue) argues that Freud's understanding of Dora is unconvincing to the modern reader because Dora is a victim of trauma rather than sexual repression. I extend Mahony's ideas in terms of the development of psychoanalytic ideas, place Freud's view in the context of my psychoanalytic education in the mid-20th century, and suggest that modern contributions to trauma theory and memory further support the thesis that Dora was a victim of trauma rather than of conflicted libidinal desires.     

Narrative (Re)Righting: Recovering and Rebuilding a Life Rocked by Trauma

In this paper, I write about and through my recent brush with death to narrate myself out of fear and desperation and into hope and acceptance. Storytelling helps me sort through the rubble and make sense of my life repeatedly rocked by trauma. Narrative reframing takes me a step further, empowering me to rebuild and reinvent my life through the stories I choose to tell as I move forward. Through this work, I am reminded rebuilding is temporary, continual, and precarious; and not only possible, but important and necessary.     

The Unfreezing of Time in the Haunted Hours

When trauma shattered the cohesion of the self and “destroyed time” for my patient Bob, he managed to hold himself more or less together with the help of haunting ghosts. This paper is the story of how my connection with Bob deepened as I eventually learned to honor his ghosts through access to my own dissociated memories of traumatic loss that had left a ghostly presence in its wake. I hope to show how a difficult and complex immersion into haunted worlds—Bob’s and my own—created the possibility for new relational depths and the reemergence of Bob’s creativity.     

On being educated in the west: The disruption in self as a narrative and authenticity and inauthenticity of self

In this article I have argued that the issue of the effect of education on one getting educated is an ontological one. I make my case with the help of Heidegger's concepts of Dasein, and man's-being-in-the-world. I first argue that tradition is constitutive of one's being, and that man's being is in-a-tradition, and then make the case that education is located in tradition, and that education is a process by which one is initiated into that tradition. As a consequence getting educated in a tradition outside one's own has the effect of dislocating the being of the one getting educated.     

UNTOLD STORIES AND THE POWER OF SILENCE IN THE INTERGENERATIONAL TRANSMISSION OF SOCIAL TRAUMA*

There are intergenerational secrets and unprocessed experiences that very often don’t have a voice or an image associated with them but loom in our minds nonetheless. What haunts are not the dead, but the gaps left within us by the secrets of others. This paper will look at the conflict that occurs when unspoken events and memories of one generation haunt the next one. It is my contention that the second-generation survivors of trauma can be deeply affected by something that did not directly happen to them. Utilizing my own personal narrative I will examine how being the daughter of a woman who escaped the Holocaust, and her silence about those events affected my personal development and later my work with patients. I will also explore the unspoken secret that a patient’s mother kept from her, paralleling the writer’s mother’s secret.     

Trauma, forgiveness and the witnessing dance: making public spaces intimate

In this paper I explore the concept of forgiveness as a response to gross human rights violations. I present a conceptual examination of the effects of massive trauma in relation to what I refer to as the 'unfinished business' of trauma. Using a psychoanalytic framework, I consider the process of 'bearing witness' about trauma and examine how this process opens up the possibility of reciprocal expressions of empathy between victim and perpetrator. I then argue that, in this context of trauma testimony and witnessing, empathy is essential for the development of remorse on the part of perpetrators, and of forgiveness on the part of victims. Using a case study from South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) I clarify the relationship between empathy and forgiveness, and show how the restorative model of the TRC can open up an ethical space and create the possibility of transformation for victims, perpetrators and bystanders. In my conclusion I suggest that forgiveness in politics is the only action that holds promise for the repair of brokenness in post-conflict societies, particularly if, as in South Africa, victims have to live together with perpetrators and beneficiaries in the same country.     

Ongoing Cross-National Identity Transformation: Living on the Queer Japan-U.S. Transnational Borderland

In this essay, I analyze my border performances of becoming and being as an embodied text to explicate, elucidate, and elaborate culturally hybrid practices of intercultural transition. I pay close attention to unpack the material realities of my hybridity as I continue to live within and beyond queer (or non-heteronormative) Japan–US transnational borderland. In so doing, I aim to illustrate (dis)connections between my identity negotiation processes and the multiple significances of queer Asian/American male identity construction to disrupt the heteronormative modes of thinking about intercultural transitions.     

Drowning in a Sea of Love

Jade McGleughlin’s textured paper frames writing enactments that help describe breaches in narrative consequent to trauma. I work from my own understanding of enactment as a particular reader of McGleughlin’s fieldwork: moving from ceramics to photography to Bionian Field Theory to ethnography to Betty Woodman to Gadamer’s player/played distinction to call attention to the anticipatory processes involved in reading and in reading enactments—by which I mean the enacted dimensions of the act of reading that pertain to the experience of reading about enactments.