Close partner as sculptor of the ideal self: behavioral affirmation and the Michelangelo phenomenon.

This work incorporates concepts from the behavioral confirmation tradition, self tradition, and interdependence tradition to identify an interpersonal process termed the Michelangelo phenomenon. The Michelangelo phenomenon describes the means by which the self is shaped by a close partner's perceptions and behavior. Specifically, self movement toward the ideal self is described as a product of partner affirmation, or the degree to which a partner's perceptions of the self and behavior toward the self are congruent with the self's ideal. The results of 4 studies revealed strong associations between perceived partner affirmation and self movement toward the ideal self, using a variety of participant populations and measurement methods. In addition, perceived partner affirmation--particularly perceived partner behavioral affirmation--was strongly associated with quality of couple functioning and stability in ongoing relationships.     

Regulatory focus and the Michelangelo Phenomenon: How close partners promote one another's ideal selves

This work examines the consequences of regulatory focus in the context of the Michelangelo phenomenon, a process whereby interaction partners shape one another's goal pursuits. We advanced predictions regarding the intrapersonal and interpersonal consequences of target and partner promotion orientation using the concepts of target-goal congruence, partner-goal congruence, and interpersonal match. We used data from four complementary measurement methods—self-report questionnaires, daily diary records, partners' ratings of ideal-relevant interaction behaviors, and coders' ratings of interaction behaviors—and using both target- and partner-reports of model criteria. Consistent with predictions, (a) target promotion orientation is associated with the elicitation of partner affirmation, (b) partner promotion orientation is associated with the display of partner affirmation, and (c) partner affirmation partially mediates the associations of target and partner promotion orientation with target movement toward the ideal self. We also examine the motivational, cognitive, and behavioral mechanisms that account for these associations.     

Predicting marital satisfaction: Social absorption and individuation versus attachment anxiety and avoidance

The incremental validity of social absorption and social individuation in predicting relationship satisfaction beyond anxious and avoidant attachment was assessed in a sample of 400 heterosexual couples. Results indicated that the actor’s and partner’s social absorption scores and the absolute difference between the partners’ social individuation scores made significant unique contributions to the actor’s satisfaction in a model that included avoidant and anxious attachment. This model accounted for 49% of the variance in the actors’ satisfaction scores. Satisfaction was high when both partners were predisposed toward behavioral interdependence but suffered when the partners were discrepant in their need to cognitively distinguish self and other. Possible explanations for these findings and their implications for marital satisfaction are discussed.     

Agents' self‐esteem moderates the effectiveness of negative‐direct partner regulation strategies

Prior research suggests that trying to change partner's attitudes and behaviors in hostile and demanding ways can successfully produce desired changes in targeted partners. The current research investigated whether the effectiveness of negative‐direct partner regulation strategies depends on the self‐esteem of regulation agents. Two longitudinal studies, involving individuals (N = 156) and couples (N = 174) in ongoing relationships, assessed agents' partner regulation attempts, the regulation strategies agents enacted, and the success of regulation attempts across time. Regulation agents who were low in self‐esteem and engaged in negative‐direct regulation strategies experienced lower regulation success over time. Lower regulation success in turn predicted decreases in relationship quality. These results indicate that negative‐direct regulation strategies are not beneficial when engaged by agents low in self‐esteem.     

Subjective Social Standing and Conflict Tactics Among Young Kenyan Men

Efforts to reduce intimate partner violence in sub‐Saharan Africa generally approach the issue through the lens of women's empowerment. These efforts include foci on women's relative power in the relationship, educational background, and earning potential. The social status of men has largely been ignored, reducing the potential to involve them in efforts to demote intimate partner violence. In this study we consider whether a man's perceived social status predicts conflict tactics, and whether these tactics are mediated by loneliness and collective self‐esteem from a community‐based sample in semi‐rural Kenya (n = 263). We find that men who reported lower perceived social status also reported significantly more frequent violent conflicts with their intimate partners. This association was significantly, and completely, mediated by lower collective self‐esteem and higher loneliness. There was no direct association between subjective social status and negotiation‐based conflict tactics, although there was an indirect association. Men with higher perceived social status reported higher collective self‐esteem, and men with higher collective self‐esteem reported more negotiation‐based conflict tactics. These findings inform efforts to reduce intimate partner violence by involving men, showing potential to reduce violence by building self‐esteem among men—particularly those with lower perceived social status.     

The Predictive Validity of Ideal Partner Preferences in Relationship Formation: What We Know,What We Don't Know,and Why It Matters

A great deal of research on interpersonal attraction implicitly assumes that stated ideal partner preferences guide the mate selection, and therefore relationship formation, process. Nevertheless, recent research has yielded contradictory results. Whereas some research has failed to demonstrate that ideal partner preferences influence attraction to actual potential romantic partners, other studies have provided empirical evidence for the predictive validity of ideal partner preferences following interactions with potential romantic partners. A new meta‐analysis on the predictive validity of ideal partner preferences concluded that people may not preferentially pursue potential partners that more closely match their stated preferences. This conclusion has significant implications for several empirical literatures that have relied on self‐reported ideal partner preferences to test hypotheses. We demonstrate, however, that the majority of the research on the predictive validity of ideal partner preferences, and thus research included in this meta‐analysis, focuses on interpersonal attraction or later relationship processes and not on individuals transitioning into actual new relationships. We suggest that research that directly focuses on the transition into actual relationships is needed before firm conclusions can be made regarding the predictive validity of ideal partner preferences in the formation of new relationships.     

Perceptions of Self and of Ideal Mates: Similarities and Differences across the Sexes

For 19 mating-relevant traits, single males (N= 53) and single females (N= 86) rated (a) themselves relative to their same-sex peers, (b) their perceptions of the qualities desired by members of the opposite sex in an ideal partner, and (c) the qualities desired in their own ideal romantic partner. Several themes emerged from the data. First, males’ and females’ judgments of what members of the opposite-sex seek were generally accurate. Second, males and females both feel that they fall short of perceived opposite-sex expectations in a few areas. Third, both males and females desire an ideal partner better than themselves, but this is especially true for females. These findings are discussed in terms of evolutionary social psychological principles.     

Perceptions of self and of ideal mates: Similarities and differences across the sexes

For 19 mating-relevant traits, single males (N= 53) and single females (N= 86) rated (a) themselves relative to their same-sex peers, (b) their perceptions of the qualities desired by members of the opposite sex in an ideal partner, and (c) the qualities desired in their own ideal romantic partner. Several themes emerged from the data. First, males’ and females’ judgments of what members of the opposite-sex seek were generally accurate. Second, males and females both feel that they fall short of perceived opposite-sex expectations in a few areas. Third, both males and females desire an ideal partner better than themselves, but this is especially true for females. These findings are discussed in terms of evolutionary social psychological principles.     

The association of childhood trauma with perceptions of self and the partner in adult romantic relationships

In this study, the association of childhood trauma with perceptions of self and the partner was explored. Using a large sample of more than 5,400 couples who completed the RELATE inventory, couples in which neither partner experienced childhood physical abuse were compared on personality and communication scales with couples where only the female experienced abuse, only the male experienced abuse, and both partners experienced abuse. The primary question of interest was to evaluate whether childhood trauma was associated with selection effects of romantic partners, perceptual effects of partners, or reciprocal negativity with partners. The evidence from the analysis of variance and path analysis indicates that trauma is more likely to be associated with perceptual effects than selection effects. Individuals who were traumatized rated both themselves and their partners as more neurotic and conflictual, even when controlling for overall levels of relationship satisfaction. However, the partners of traumatized persons do not consider themselves more neurotic or conflictual than partners in relationships where neither partner was abused.     

Conceptualizing similarities and differences between purpose in life and self‐affirmation

Individuals contend with a variety of threats in daily life and may attempt to deal with them using various cognitive strategies. Two constructs borne from different literatures, purpose in life and self‐affirmation, serve to promote well‐being and to protect individuals from such threats. While self‐affirmation has often been examined as a manipulation, purpose has, until recently, been considered a dispositional resource. However, both self‐affirmation and purpose seem to confer similar advantages in response to threat. This paper reviews the evidence for the protective benefits of both purpose in life and self‐affirmation, describes the mechanisms by which each confers these advantages, and considers the boundary conditions of each. Key similarities and differences are discussed, and we argue that there are broad gaps in the literature regarding where and when these constructs might operate differentially, or why these differences exist. We conclude with a call to researchers to explore empirically how and when these important interventions might be differentially beneficial to those who cultivate them.     

Relationship work among young adult couples: Romantic,social, and physiological considerations

We examined romantic, social, and physiological variables associated with partners discussing romantic challenges together and with friends, a process known as relationship work (RW). Actor‐partner interdependence models examining 71 heterosexual, young adult couples and their friends suggested social network approval, friendship quality, and partners' perspective taking were each associated with partners' RW patterns. Skin conductance activity readings revealed males universally experienced greater physiological arousal when discussing romantic problems than females. Unexpectedly, both males and females experienced greater skin conductance activity when discussing romantic challenges with friends than with partners. Males were more likely to discuss romantic challenges with friends when their female partners experienced greater baseline skin conductance activity. Findings inform researchers regarding links between romantic, social, and physiological functioning.     

Linking online self-presentation to identity coherence,identity confusion,and social anxiety in emerging adulthood

The present study examined the role of social media in psychosocial development and adjustment in emerging adulthood. Survey data from a diverse college sample of 220 emerging adults (M age ≈ 23, 175 women) were collected and analysed using a series of multiple regressions. Results revealed that emerging adults high in general identity coherence (indicative of high self-concept clarity) reported presenting the real self and the ideal self on Facebook, suggesting that they were more truthful and positively realistic in their online self-presentation. Emerging adults high in general identity confusion (indicative of less self-concept clarity) reported presenting the ideal self and the false self on Facebook, suggesting that they were less truthful, less realistic, and more socially desirable in their online self-presentation. Moreover, emerging adults who experienced both identity coherence and identity confusion reported presenting the false self on Facebook motivated by self-exploration. Emerging adults experiencing high social anxiety reported presenting the false self on Facebook; they engaged in an extensive self-exploratory and socially desirable online self-presentation. Further, emerging adults experiencing both high identity confusion and high social anxiety reported presenting themselves on Facebook in a less truthful manner. Findings have important implications for identity integration during the emerging adulthood transition in the digital age.     

Daily Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Symptom Accommodation and Relationship Functioning in Military Couples

Romantic partners’ accommodation of trauma survivors’ posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms (e.g., taking on tasks, survivors avoid participating in social withdrawal) is associated with lower relationship satisfaction for both partners and survivors. Little is known about associations of partner accommodation with other aspects of relationship functioning, like intimacy. Sixty‐four male military veterans with at least subclinical PTSD and their partners participated in a 2‐week daily diary study. Veterans completed nightly measures of PTSD symptoms, while female partners completed nightly measures of accommodating behaviors performed that day. Both partners reported feelings of intimacy each night. Multilevel models revealed that accommodation was significantly, negatively associated with feelings of intimacy, with stronger effects for partners (t = ?8.70) than for veterans (t = ?5.40), and stronger effects when veterans had lower (t = ?7.43) rather than higher (t = ?5.20) levels of daily PTSD symptoms. Therapists should consider accommodating behaviors as a potential impediment to relationship intimacy, particularly when veterans have less severe symptoms of PTSD. Accommodating behaviors are an ideal treatment target in behavioral couple therapies.     

Does social support predict smoking abstinence in dual-smoker couples? Evidence from a dyadic approach

Background and Objectives: Romantic partners have a significant influence on their health behaviors. Evidence for the effectiveness of social support for smoking abstinence, however, is mixed and the role of social support for smoking abstinence in dual-smoker couples is understudied.

Design: 77 dual-smoker couples were assessed 30 days after a joint quit attempt using a dyadic approach.

Methods: Received and provided support, self-reported and objectively measured smoking abstinence were assessed from both partners. Actor and partner effects of received and provided support on self-reported and objectively measured smoking abstinence and their difference for men and women were investigated with the Actor–Partner Interdependence Model using multilevel modeling.

Results: A significant actor effect emerged: Higher reports of received emotional support were related to an increased likelihood of objective smoking abstinence for men and women alike. For men only, partner effects of women’s received emotional and instrumental support emerged (p?<?.10): Higher reports of women’s support receipt were associated with an increased likelihood of men’s self-reported abstinence.

Conclusion: Received emotional support seems to play a key role in dual-smoker couple’s abstinence, whereas provided support does not seem to make a difference in successful quitting in dual-smoker couples.     

Perceiving regulation from intimate partners: Reflected appraisal and self‐regulation processes in close relationships

Cross‐sectional (N = 202) and longitudinal analyses over a 6‐month period (N = 155) assessed the consequences of perceiving regulation attempts from romantic partners. Greater perceived regulation from the partner was associated with more negative inferences regarding how closely individuals matched their partner's ideal standards in the targeted domain (inferred ideal consistency). Lower inferred ideal consistency, in turn, was associated with poorer relationship evaluations and predicted more negative perceptions of targeted self‐attributes. Individuals also directly responded to their partner's regulation efforts with attempts to change targeted features. Finally, perceiving more negative regulation strategies produced lower inferred ideal consistency, relationship evaluations, and self‐regulation efforts, whereas perceiving more positive strategies predicted greater inferred ideal consistency across time. The operation of reflected appraisal and self‐regulation processes within romantic relationships is discussed.     

Demand/Withdraw Patterns in Serial Arguments: Implications for Well‐Being

Serial arguing has been linked to relational difficulties. We extend this research by looking at the relationship between demand/withdraw patterns enacted during argumentative episodes and aversive reactions after the episode has ended in romantic relationships (N = 219). We found that individuals who initiated the first confrontation often reported they did so because they were very upset and they initiated a self‐demand/partner‐withdraw pattern that was repeated in subsequent episodes. The self‐demand/partner‐withdraw pattern was positively related to experiencing intrusive thoughts and feelings about the episode, attempts to avoid such thoughts and feelings, a hyperaroused state, and disruption of everyday activities. Individuals who were originally confronted by their partners report that their partners demanded they change and they withdraw, and this pattern was repeated in typical episodes. This pattern is more strongly related to stress than was self‐demand/partner‐withdraw and was equally predictive of attempts to avoid thinking about the event. However, the partner‐demand/self‐withdraw sequence was not strongly related to most of the other aversive episodic reactions.     

Social class and interpersonal trust: Partner's warmth,external threats and interpretations of trust betrayal

The present research investigated the effects of social class on interpersonal trust. In a series of experiments, we showed how the contextualist socio-cognitive tendencies of the lower class and the solipsistic tendencies of the upper class were reflected in their trusting attitudes and behaviors. In Study 1 (N = 491), upper class individuals expressed the same levels of trust towards all partners, while lower class individuals adjusted their trust choices to the affect-rich information about their interaction partner and trusted warm partners more than cold partners. The results of Study 2 (N = 210) showed that when threatened, lower class individuals had generally less trusting attitudes, while upper class members were equally trusting as in a neutral situation. Study 3 (N = 200) revealed that upper class individuals explained a betrayal of their trust with dispositional factors to a higher degree than lower class individuals. We discuss how these differences contribute to perpetuating the disadvantage of the lower class.     

Helping New Acquaintances Make the Right Impression: Balancing Image Concerns of Others and Self

People strategically regulate information about the identities of friends to help those friends create desired impressions on audiences. Are people willing to help acquaintances manage their impressions, and if so, are such efforts moderated by the helper's own self-presentational concerns? Participants were 234 same-sex strangers who went through a structured self-disclosure procedure designed to induce psychological closeness. They later described this partner to an opposite-sex third party who supposedly preferred either extraverts or introverts as ideal dates, and who their partner regarded as attractive and wanted to impress or as unattractive and did not care to impress. As predicted, participants described their partners consistently with the preferences of the attractive other, but only when their own self-presentational concerns about accuracy were low. If the third party was unattractive, participants whose accuracy concerns were low tended to describe their partners opposite the preferences of the other, suggesting they were “not your type.” The results indicated that beneficial impression management occurs even among acquaintances, but is held in check by self-presentational concerns about accuracy.