Attachment style and intimacy in friendship

Two studies with college students tested the hypothesis that a secure attachment style enhances intimacy in friendship. Three intimacy characteristics were studied: self‐disclosure; responsiveness to a partner's disclosure; and feeling understood, validated, and cared for by a partner during conversations. In Study 1, individuals with a secure attachment style were higher on all three intimacy characteristics In Study 2, a lab‐based assessment of intimacy revealed some relations between attachment and intimacy, providing mixed support for the hypothesis. Both studies found gender differences in intimacy characteristics The findings provide a starting point for a model accounting for individual differences in friendship.     

Response to Irene Cairo,Rogelio A. Sosnik,and Eyal Rozmarin

I have based my response on several central points put forward by my discussants. This has provided the opportunity to explore different frames of reference. I focus on the validity of some notions such as identity or belonging to a stable institution. Also I discuss the different viewpoints concerning how we construct our sense of belonging, proposing that in order to belong to a relationship, it is necessary to continually work at this relationship. I also state that representation is distinct from presentation and that each of them has a different logic. This is also true for identification and the relationship between two or more others. My view is that the concept of otherness and presentation cannot be included in the hypothesis of transference–countertransference. It needs another one name, Interference. As these are unfamiliar concepts, it is clear that sometimes they are likened to more established ones. Using Eyal Rozmarin's remarks about how a feeling of intimacy was created at a dinner party with friends, I challenged the validity of this concept of intimacy in the construction of relationships. I also emphasized the importance of tolerance of others as Irene Cairo suggested. I feel strongly that our work with patients is not difficult but rather challenging and stimulating.     

Differential effects of maternal- and paternal-adolescent attachments on friendship security and intimacy

The present study examined the differential contributions of adolescent-reported maternal and paternal attachment anxiety and avoidance on friendship security and intimacy. Participants were 776 Canadian adolescents between the ages of 13 and 19 years (M = 15.18, SD = 1.58) who provided ratings of their perceived attachment avoidance and anxiety towards their mothers and fathers and responded to measures of friendship security and intimacy. Findings showed that maternal and paternal attachment avoidance and not anxiety negatively predicted friendship security. Moreover, maternal attachment avoidance was negatively associated with friendship intimacy. Multigroup analyses showed that security was negatively predicted by maternal anxious attachment for junior high school boys and girls. Additionally, paternal avoidant attachment was negatively associated with friendship intimacy for junior high school boys and girls. These findings highlight the unique effects associated with maternal and paternal attachment on specific friendship features and underscore the importance of the role of fathers in adolescence.     

Conflicting pressures on romantic relationship commitment for anxiously attached individuals

Anxious attachment predicts strong desires for intimacy and stability in romantic relationships, yet the relation between anxious attachment and romantic commitment is unclear. We propose that extant literature has failed to find a consistent relation because anxiously attached individuals experience conflicting pressures on commitment. Data from Australia (N=137) show that relationship satisfaction and felt security each act as suppressors of a positive relation between anxious attachment and commitment. Data from Japan (N=159) replicate the suppression effect of felt security and also demonstrate that the residual positive relation between anxious attachment and commitment can be partly explained by dependence on the partner. These findings suggest that anxiously attached individuals may be ambivalent about commitment. Dissatisfaction and worries about negative evaluation appear to exert downward pressure on commitment, counteracting the upward pressure that is exerted by factors such as relational dependency.     

家庭环境、亲子依恋与青少年网络成瘾

本研究从北京、重庆和石家庄选取三所初中学校1038名初一到初三学生为被试,采用问卷调查的方式,探讨青少年的家庭环境、亲子依恋对其网络成瘾的影响及作用机制,以检验“人-情境交互作用理论”和“过程-个人-情境-时间”模型提出的理论观点。结果表明:(1)家庭环境和亲子依恋均与青少年的网络成瘾成显著负相关;(2)家庭环境中家庭亲密度对青少年网络成瘾有显著预测作用,父子依恋中的父子信任能显著负向预测青少年网络成瘾,母子依恋中的母子疏离能显著正向预测青少年网络成瘾;(3)家庭亲密度不仅直接影响青少年的网络成瘾,而且还通过母子疏离和父子信任间接影响青少年的网络成瘾,但母子疏离和父子信任所起的中介作用差异不显著。研究结果不仅说明了家庭环境对青少年心理行为发展的重要性,同时支持了“人-情境交互作用理论”和“过程-个人-情境-时间”模型提出的相应理论观点。     

Attachment,sexual experience,and sexual pressure in romantic relationships: A dyadic approach

The goal of this research was to extend the previously documented associations between attachment style and sexual experiences in samples of adolescents and college students to adult couples in committed romantic relationships. A sample of 273 French‐Canadian heterosexual couples aged 18–35 years completed measures of attachment‐related anxiety and avoidance, sexual coercion, and sexual experiences in their relationships. Avoidant attachment was related to two strategies for limiting intimacy in sexual relationships: avoidance of sexual encounters and avoidance of sexual fantasies about one’s partner (the latter for women only). Anxious attachment appeared to interfere with comfortable intimacy, especially among men, who viewed their partner as avoiding sex and who applied more insistent pressure to have sex.     

A comparison of the perceptions of the mother-daughter relationship of black pregnant and nonpregnant teenagers.

This study examined the relationship between mothers and their teenage daughters in order to determine if there was a significant difference in perceived relationships between pregnant and nonpregnant mother-daughter dyads in a predominantly black sample. Results indicated that the nonpregnant daughters and their mothers felt significantly more intimacy toward each other than did the pregnant daughters and their mothers. However, correlations of the mother and daughter scores revealed that the intimacy scores of the mothers of the pregnant daughters were positively correlated with their daughters' attachment scores, suggesting that the mothers and their pregnant daughters were more in agreement regarding their relationship than were the nonpregnant mother-daughter pairs.     

Reassuring sex: Can sexual desire and intimacy reduce relationship‐specific attachment insecurities?

Past research has shown that attachment orientations shape sexual processes within relationships. Yet, little has been done to explore the opposite direction. In the present research, we examined whether sexual desire and emotional intimacy reduce attachment insecurities over time in emerging relationships. In an 8‐month longitudinal study, we followed 62 newly dating couples across three measurement waves. At Time 1, romantic partners discussed sexual aspects of their relationship and judges coded their displays of sexual desire and intimacy. Participants also completed measures of relationship‐specific attachment anxiety and avoidance in each wave. The results indicated that men's displays of desire predicted a decline in their own and their partner's relationship‐specific insecurities. Conversely, women's displays of desire inhibited the decline in their partner's relationship‐specific insecurities, whereas women's displays of intimacy predicted a decline in their partner's relationship‐specific insecurities. These findings suggest that different sex‐related processes underlie attachment formation in men and women.     

Adult attachment and perceptions of closeness

An online sample of more than 150,000 participants was used to examine whether—in addition to predicting how much intimacy people want—attachment styles also predict how people define and perceive intimacy. Results indicated that, as compared with relatively secure individuals, people with high levels of attachment anxiety required more time, affection, and self‐disclosure to construe a relationship as “close.” Additionally, anxious individuals perceived less intimacy in relationship vignettes than did their less anxious peers. In contrast, highly avoidant individuals required less time, affection, and self‐disclosure to define a relationship as “close,” and they perceived more intimacy in vignettes than did their more secure peers. These findings indicate that people who are relatively anxious not only want more intimacy in their relationships, but they are also less likely to perceive intimacy, as compared with their less anxious peers. Conversely, people high in avoidance not only want less intimacy, but they are also more sensitive to its presence, as compared with their less avoidant peers.     

Attachment,temperament, and ego development in young adulthood

Attachment and temperament have each been thought to contribute to personality development; however, few empirical studies have examined the relations between the two. Thus, the purpose of this study was to investigate, in young adulthood, the relations among attachment, temperament, and two aspects of ego development, namely,overall ego development and ego development with respect tointimacy. One hundred and seven college students served as participants. Sixty one percent classified themselves as securely attached and 39% as insecurely attached. A factor analysis of the Emotionality-Activity-Sociability (EAS) Temperament Survey for Adults yielded a primary factor (labeled negative emotionality) that accounted for 41% of the variance. A regression analysis then revealed that both attachment status and temperament predicted overall ego development; however, only attachment status predicted ego development with respect to intimacy. Implications and directions for future research are discussed.     

Psychosocial Intimacy,Relationships with Parents,and Well-being among Emerging Adults

For emerging adults, the development of psychosocial intimacy may be a key developmental task shaped by past parenting. In this study, 232 emerging adult, college students completed a questionnaire about their intimacy development, identity development, self-efficacy in romantic relationships, parenting (i.e., attachment styles, parental caring and overprotection, and parental challenge), and well-being (i.e, depressive symptoms, loneliness, happiness, and self-esteem). Findings indicate that identity development, low attachment avoidance, and self-efficacy in romantic relationships predicted intimacy development. Furthermore, those individuals with high intimacy have less loneliness, greater self-esteem, and more happiness than those with low intimacy. Achieving psychosocial intimacy may have benefits for well-being.     

Intimacies: An Integrative Multicultural Framework for Couple Therapy

Implicitly or explicitly, our ideas about intimacy are the most fundamental notions giving direction to the process of couple therapy. Yet, as a field, we have spent little time conceptualizing intimacy and even less time considering the diversity of priorities and meanings couples bring to our offices. In Part One, Varieties of Intimacy, I describe a kaleidoscope of contexts—socio‐historical, cultural, gender, life cycle, and developmental—that inform our ideas and expectations for intimacy in couples’ relationships. I highlight different spheres in which intimacy may take place such as the emotional, sexual, intellectual, or familial. I propose a starting point in which the therapist, in a collaborative manner, helps the partners articulate their yearnings and priorities in order to negotiate a shared vision. In Part Two, Conceptualizing Intimacy, I suggest an experiential definition that gives room for each partner's subjective meanings, yet consider diverse relational processes that may need to be addressed for a resilient ebb and flow of intimate experiences. In Part Three , Sexual Intimacy, I outline conditions in which sex is more likely to be experienced as intimate rather than nonintimate. Finally, in Part Four, I describe Therapeutic Principles to guide the therapist in taking couples from reactivity to dialogue to negotiations of intimacy. The integrative framework proposed here discourages monolithic a priori notions of intimacy and highlights instead: nuanced meanings, relational processes to be considered differentially, present and past emotional blocks, and a flexible clinical approach to foster conditions for the creation and resilience of intimate experiences.     

Adolescents' interactions with a best friend: associations with attachment style

This study tested whether adolescents' attachment style is related to friendship interactions and perceptions of friendship quality. Attachment pairings were contrasted to examine whether dyad members' security of attachment or their models of others was more related to friendship. A total of 44 pairs of same-sex adolescent friends were videotaped as they engaged in an intimate conversation. Participants also completed self-report measures of attachment style and friendship quality. Compared with dyads with at least one insecure partner, dyads with two secure members interacted in ways that promoted a sense of connection with each other. In addition, they did not use as many clarification statements, suggesting a smooth conversational style between the friends. When friend pairs were examined based on positive or negative models of others (i.e., dismissing and fearful vs secure and preoccupied), there were no differences. The findings suggest that security of attachment, rather than type of insecurity, is most related to intimacy in friendship.     

Adolescents' attachment representations and developmental tasks in emerging adulthood

The association between attachment representations and adolescents' coping with 3 developmental tasks of emerging adulthood-leaving home, advancing in the capacity for mature intimacy, and developing individuation-was examined. Israeli male adolescents (N = 88) were administered the Adult Attachment Interview during their high-school senior year. A year later, they and their friends reported on the adolescents' adjustment to mandatory military service. Three years later, participants and their parents reported on the adolescents' capacity for intimacy using an in-depth interview and on their individuation. An autonomous state of mind was associated with better coping with basic training and with a higher capacity for mature intimacy but was not associated with markers of individuation. The results highlight the importance of attachment representations in shaping an individual's developmental trajectory.     

Touching matters: Embodiments of intimacy

Touch is, I propose, a foundational, “intercorporeal” form of intimacy. Such intercorporeal intimacy precedes developmentally and undergirds permanently the “intersubjective” intimacy that is possible between adult subjects. For, it is in the affective intimacy of touching and being touched that we first realize (i.e., make real, actualize) both a coexistence or participation with other bodies, and an organization and differentiation of ourselves as embodied beings. Section 1 lays out phenomena of interpersonal (and interanimal) relations that require thinking touch as much more than either the exploration of a physical surface by an embodied subject or a conventional form of communication: I note the powerful existential effects of being or not being touched. In Section 2, I recall philosopher Maurice Merleau-Ponty’s account of embodiment, focusing on features that provide resources for understanding touch. I argue that touching must be understood as potentially transformative of the toucher, that “being touched” can equally be transformative, and that touching and being touched are inherently intertwined. This intertwining and transformative power is what makes touch an intercorporeal form of intimacy and accounts for its ability to inaugurate and enliven, at the affective level, our sense of self as differentiated from and in relation to others.     

Perceived Functions of Family and Friends During Childhood,Adolescence, and Youth: Developmental Theories of Two Turkish Groups

The present study compared Turkish University students' and middle-aged adults' developmental theories about the perceived importance of needs related to different life tasks and functionality of relationships with parents, same-sex siblings, and friends for need satisfaction during childhood, adolescence, and youth. A retrospective method was used. The following results emerged: (1) the importance of needs related to a search for identity and intimacy increased and the importance of those related to dependency decreased from childhood to adolescence; (2) needs related to intimacy maintained a high level of importance during youth whereas importance of the need for self-understanding/development decreased from adolescence to youth; (3) increases in the perceived importance of friends occurred between childhood and adolescence, especially with respect to needs related to identity and intimacy issues; (4) decreases in the perceived importance of parents were reported between adolescence and youth, especially with respect to needs related to identity, intimacy, and dependency; (5) developmental theories of groups and sexes did not differ; (6) group and sex differences with respect to importance ratings of some needs emerged.     

Peter McHugh 1929–2010: The Unique Gesture

In thinking of my relationship to Peter McHugh as an intimate collaboration, I take some reactions elicited to a most recent unpublished writing of his on intimacy as an occasion for discussing both intimacy and collaboration as a notion in-itself and as applicable to us in particular, treating that space between the general and particular of intimacy as its zone of fundamental ambiguity. I try to being to view a story of the imaginary of community, its elemental stirrings, that Peter might appreciate. In this, I reorient Arendt’s notion of communicating with the dead to the problem of the intimate collaboration and of how each might be a practice that mirrors the other, intimate collaboration being one way of confirming the vow in communicating with the dead to witness, and reciprocally, such communication being a way of practicing intimate collaboration. This leads me to bring to view a range of unstated resonances of the discussion that have applicability to our shared history. First, is intimate collaboration possible in organizations such as the university and how does it coexist among adversarial exchanges, factitious coteries, alliances, and collegial networks? Second, is communicating with the dead another way of speaking of tradition and dissemination in any context as such and what could the manner and method of orienting to this desire say about the quality of life in commemoration per se?     

Why do they hook up? Attachment style and motives of college students

Attachment style may be related to variations in hookup experiences; however, we do not know if attachment style is associated with hookup motives. College students (N = 266) completed questionnaires that assessed attachment style and hookup motives. Avoidant attachment was negatively associated with intimacy motives, while anxious attachment was positively related to intimacy. Insecure attachment styles were positively related to coping motives and self‐affirmation motives, but gender interacted with attachment style. Anxious attachment was positively associated with peer pressure motives in men only. The role of attachment style and hookup motives in understanding young adults' hookup experiences will be discussed.     

Systems Theory,Family Attachments and Processes of Triangulation: Does the Concept of Triangulation Offer a Useful Bridge?

This article reviews the usefulness of the systemic concept of triangulation as a bridge between systemic thinking and practice and attachment theory. Traditionally attachment theory has theorized and researched with dyads, parent‐child and adult romantic partners, whereas systemic theory has worked therapeutically with the triangle as the basic human relationship; that is, when any two people interact, their interactions are influenced by their respective relationships with the same third person. Here it is argued, for example, that a child's attachment representations are shaped not only by the relationship with each parent but with the relationship between them. Thus, the process of triangulation in intimate relationships is seen in this article to link attachment theory with systemic thinking, as systemic theory needs a theory of love and attachment theory needs to consider how intimate relationships are nested and interconnected in an attachment network.