(Not) Thinking about you: Differences in victims’ and perpetrators’ self-focus after interpersonal and intergroup transgressions

We tested the hypothesis that, following a transgression, victims and perpetrators differ in their focus of attention. In three studies (total N = 740), we manipulated participants’ social role (victim vs. perpetrator) in a hypothetical scenario (Studies 1 and 2) and in a perceived real conflict (Study 3) in an interpersonal (Studies 1 and 2) and an intergroup (Study 3) context. Results from all studies confirmed that victims show a stronger self-focus than perpetrators. Moreover, results suggest victims’ higher self-focus as a predictor of willingness to reconcile. Participants’ self-focus mediated the effect of social role on reconciliation intentions as a single mediator (Study 2), or in sequence with their motivation to consider the other party's needs (Study 3). Overall, the present research suggests that victims and perpetrators differ in their focus of attention, and that this difference has important theoretical and practical implications for reconciliation between individuals and between groups.     

The soothing effects of forgiveness on victims' and perpetrators' blood pressure

A laboratory experiment tested whether conciliatory behavior predicts lower blood pressure following spouses' discussion of a recent marital transgression. Sixty‐eight married couples discussed unresolved transgressions—with random assignment determining whether the husband or the wife was in the victim role—and then rated victim and perpetrator conciliatory behavior (with the former akin to forgiveness and the latter akin to amends) while watching a videotape of their just‐completed discussion. Participants' blood pressure was measured 40 min later. Actor–partner interdependence modeling analyses revealed that victim conciliatory behavior during the discussion predicted not only lower victim blood pressure but also lower perpetrator blood pressure after the discussion. Perpetrator conciliatory behavior during the discussion was not associated with victim or perpetrator blood pressure.     

A needs-based model of reconciliation: satisfying the differential emotional needs of victim and perpetrator as a key to promoting reconciliation

The authors propose that conflict threatens different psychological resources of victims and perpetrators and that these threats contribute to the maintenance of conflict (A. Nadler, 2002; A. Nadler & I. Liviatan, 2004; A. Nadler & N. Shnabel, in press). On the basis of this general proposition, the authors developed a needs-based model of reconciliation that posits that being a victim is associated with a threat to one's status and power, whereas being a perpetrator threatens one's image as moral and socially acceptable. To counter these threats, victims must restore their sense of power, whereas perpetrators must restore their public moral image. A social exchange interaction in which these threats are removed should enhance the parties' willingness to reconcile. The results of 4 studies on interpersonal reconciliation support these hypotheses. Applied and theoretical implications of this model are discussed.     

Sad mood promotes self-initiated mental contrasting of future and reality

Self-regulation by mentally contrasting a positive future with negative reality leads people to differentiate in their goal commitments: They commit to goals when expectations of success are high and let go when expectations of success are low. On the contrary, when indulging in the positive future or dwelling on negative reality, people fail to consider expectations of success and do not form selective goal commitments (Oettingen, Pak, & Schnetter, 2001). Whereas prior research has examined the effects of experimentally induced mental contrasting, we address sad mood as a contextual influence promoting self-initiated mental contrasting. Across various mood inductions, sad moods--which are associated with problem solving strategies--facilitated self-initiated mental contrasting more than neutral moods (Studies 1, 5) or happy moods (Studies 2, 3, 4, 6). Importantly, mood did not affect the relation between mental contrasting and selective formation of goal commitment (Studies 5, 6). The results suggest that sad moods aid in self-regulation by making people self-initiate goal commitments that are sensitive to their expectations of success.     

Commentary on Rosefeldt: Should Metaphysics Care About Ontological Commitment from Casual Utterances?

Tobias Rosefeldt argues that in order to reconcile a physics-based fundamental ontology with the ontological implications of our everyday utterances, philosophers should pursue a ‘linguistics-based conciliatory’ strategy: They should refer to the results of linguistic research in order to avoid ontological commitment to problematic entities. Whereas Rosefeldt is not an advocate of radical forms of naturalized metaphysics, his argument is driven by the motivation behind pleas for a naturalization of the discipline. I claim that although there is a need for reconciliation, Rosefeldt’s favored account falls short of this goal. More generally, I argue that so-called ‘conciliatory accounts’ fail to do justice to the motivation that necessitated them in the first place, as the role they assign to analyses of everyday speech in search of ontological commitments is at odds with said motivation. ‘Conciliatory accounts’, hence, sit uneasily between radically naturalistic and traditional armchair approaches to metaphysics.     

Implicit theories of relationships: moderators of the link between conflict and commitment

In two studies, implicit theories of relationships were examined as moderators of the association between experienced conflict and commitment. Study 1 involved 128 individuals in heterosexual romantic relationships and employed an event-contingent diary procedure in which disagreements were recorded throughout a 10-day period. Study 2 was conducted in the laboratory and involved 75 heterosexual couples who discussed problems in their relationship, with commitment measured before and after discussion. Multilevel random coefficient models revealed that conflict was generally associated with lower commitment but less so with growth belief. Also, growth belief was most beneficial under negative relationship conditions, such as when one possessed a less favorable view of the partner to begin with and when the issue remained unresolved after discussion.     

Tipping the scales: Conciliatory behavior and the morality of self-forgiveness

Two studies examined whether conciliatory behavior aids self-forgiveness and whether it does so in part by making it seem more morally appropriate. Participants in Study 1 (n?=?269) completed an offense-recall procedure; participants in Study 2 (n?=?208) imagined a social transgression under conciliatory behavior (yes, no) and receipt of forgiveness (no, ambiguous, yes) conditions. Conciliatory behavior predicted (Study 1) and caused (Study 2) elevated self-forgiveness and increased perceptions of the moral appropriateness of self-forgiveness. Perceived morality consistently mediated the effect of conciliatory behavior on self-forgiveness. Received forgiveness and guilt were considered as additional mechanisms, but received mixed support. Results suggest that conciliatory behavior may influence self-forgiveness in part by satisfying moral prerequisites for self-forgiveness.     

Mental contrasting instigates goal pursuit by linking obstacles of reality with instrumental behavior

The self-regulatory strategy of mental contrasting a desired future with obstacles of reality instigates goal-directed behavior when expectations of success are high and curbs goal-directed behavior when expectations are low (Oettingen, 2000). Two studies show that mental contrasting paired with high expectations of success creates strong associations between obstacles of reality and behavior instrumental to overcome these obstacles; mental contrasting paired with low expectations of success leads to weak associations. Reverse contrasting and irrelevant content control conditions did not produce expectancy-dependent associations between obstacle and instrumental behavior. Importantly, the strength of these associations mediated mental contrasting effects on goal-directed behavior (Study 2).     

Mental contrasting of a dieting wish improves self-reported health behaviour

Mentally contrasting a desired future with present reality standing in its way promotes commitment to feasible goals, whereas mentally indulging in a desired future does not. Dieting students (N?=?134) reported their most important dieting wish that they deemed attainable within a 2-week period. Then, they were directed to mentally contrast or indulge in thoughts and images about the named dieting wish. A control condition was given no directions. Two weeks after the experiment, dieters retrospectively rated their behaviour change: in the mental contrasting condition they reported having eaten relatively fewer calories overall, fewer high-calorie food and more low-calorie food compared to those in the indulging and control conditions, and they also reported having been more physically active. This transfer effect from one health domain to another suggests a more generalised effect of mental contrasting versus indulging and control than previously assumed.     

Mental contrasting facilitates academic performance in school children

Two brief intervention studies tested whether teaching students to mentally contrast a desired future with its present reality resulted in better academic performance than teaching students to only think about the desired future. German elementary school children (N = 49; Study 1) and US middle school children (N = 63; Study 2) from low-income neighborhoods who were taught mental contrasting achieved comparatively higher scores in learning foreign language vocabulary words after 2 weeks or 4 days, respectively. Results have implications for research on the self-regulation of commitment to solve assigned tasks in classroom settings, and for increasing academic performance in school children in low-income areas.     

心理对照策略的内涵、功能及其相关研究

心理对照是指人们在思维过程中首先想象目标实现后的收获,然后思考现实中阻碍实现目标的因素,通过对比目标实现后的收获和现实中的障碍,使未来和现实同时通达,在未来和现实之间建立起心理联结,激活个体达成目标(成功)的期望。心理对照策略不仅能够改变人们的认知和动机,还能够改变个体对于消极反馈的反应。文章系统梳理了心理对照策略的内涵、功能及其应用研究,在此基础上,提出了4点未来的研究展望。     

Reconciling sexual orientation and Christianity: Black same-gender loving men's experiences

This qualitative study examined the methods that Black same-gender loving (SGL) men used to reconcile their sexual orientation and Christianity. Specifically, the study sought to answer two questions: (1) What does it mean to Black SGL men to have reconciled their Christian beliefs and participation with their sexual orientation? and (2) What specific methods do Black SGL men use to reconcile their Christian beliefs and participation with their sexual orientation? Seven Black Christian SGL men participated in the study. Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis was conducted and yielded eight themes: happiness with and acceptance of self; sense of integrity; geographically distancing self from family and home church; personal interpretation of Biblical text; educating self about same-sex sexual orientation; seeking interpersonal support from and providing interpersonal support for other Black SGL people; use of lived experiences to guide actions; and reconciliation as a practice. The implications of these findings are discussed.     

How do constraints on leaving a marriage affect behavior within the marriage?

Like relationship satisfaction, constraints on leaving a relationship have been described as a component of global commitment. But do constraints increase or decrease efforts to maintain the relationship? To address this question, the authors of the current article describe 3 independent studies of spouses and married couples. Across all studies, wives who perceived more constraints on leaving the marriage exhibited lower levels of negative behavior only when their husbands were relatively unconstrained. In Study 3, this association was especially pronounced among less satisfied wives. In Study 2, spouses' perceived constraint also interacted to predict husbands' behavior, but in the opposite direction: Husbands who perceived more constraints behaved less negatively when their wives were similarly constrained but more negatively when their wives were less constrained. These results highlight differences in behavior between couples who persist in marriage because they desire to and those who endure because they have to, raising questions about measures of global commitment that obscure these distinctions. They also highlight the need for a dyadic perspective on the forces that keep relationships together.     

The mother-offspring relationship as a template in social development: reconciliation in captive brown capuchins (Cebus apella)

Mother-offspring (MO) relationship quality was investigated to determine its influence on the development of reconciliation--affiliation between opponents shortly after a fight--because it influenceswhat distressed youngsters learn about calming down. Data were longitudinal and cross-sectional observational samples of 38 MO pairs of monkeys across 24 months. An MO relationship quality index (RQI) classified each pair as secure or insecure. Reconciliation emerged in infancy.Secure youngsters had an appeasing conciliatory style, and insecure youngsters had an agitated conciliatory style. Conclusions are that reconciliation develops from the attachment behavior system and MO RQI is related to the particular conciliatory style youngsters develop by affecting how aroused they are by conflict and the subsequent socializing they seek to calm down.     

Conciliatory gestures facilitate forgiveness and feelings of friendship by making transgressors appear more agreeable

The authors examined how conciliatory gestures exhibited in response to interpersonal transgressions influence forgiveness and feelings of friendship with the transgressor. In Study 1, 163 undergraduates who had recently been harmed were examined longitudinally. Conciliatory gestures exhibited by transgressors predicted higher rates of forgiveness over 21 days, and this relationship was mediated by victims' perceptions of their transgressors' Agreeableness. Study 2 was an experiment including 145 undergraduates who experienced a breach in trust from an anonymous partner during an iterated prisoner's dilemma. When transgressors apologized and offered financial compensation, participants reported higher levels of forgiveness and feelings of friendship when compared to a control condition and an aggravating condition. The effects of apology/compensation on forgiveness and perceived friendship were mediated by victims' perceptions of their transgressors' Agreeableness. Results suggest that conciliatory gestures promote forgiveness in part by depicting transgressors as more sympathetic, considerate, fair, and just (i.e., agreeable).     

Committed to succeed: Commitment determines reactions to upward relationship comparisons

Individuals encounter numerous examples of happy relationships in their social networks and through the media; however, it is unclear how comparisons to superior couples affect one's own relationship. We examined individuals' responses to upward relationship comparisons by exposing dating and married participants to highly successful relationships drawn from their own lives (Study 1) and an exemplar given to them (Studies 2–3). We predicted that moderately committed individuals would evaluate their relationship against the superior relationship, and consequently be less motivated to engage in relationship‐maintenance behaviors. In contrast, highly committed individuals would be inspired by the superior relationship and view their relationship more positively. Across all studies, higher commitment yielded more positive responses to upward relationship comparisons than did lower commitment.     

Perceiving and Wanting to Be Valued by Others: Implications for Cognition,Motivation, and Behavior in Romantic Relationships

Two studies examined implications of two individual differences—perception of being valued by others and desire to be valued by others—for romantic relationships. Study 1 included 171 participants involved in romantic relationships (59 males, 112 females) and examined attributions and behavioral intentions in hypothetical scenarios. Study 2 involved 160 heterosexual couples who completed daily reports and/or an observed conflict discussion. Perception of being valued by others and desire to be valued by others independently predicted more pro‐relationship responses and reduced relationship‐destructive responses, including more care, commitment, and regard for partners; more responsive and ingratiating behavior; less negative behavior; and more positive perceptions and behavioral intentions. Perceived and desired interpersonal value were related to attachment anxiety, attachment avoidance, and trait self‐esteem. However, perceived and desired interpersonal value were superior predictors of relationship outcomes, even in replications of foundational attachment studies. Individual differences in believing that one is valued by others and wanting to be valued by others independently predict relationship maintenance, and these dimensions may be at the core of many effects of attachment dimensions and self‐esteem. These individual differences appear to be important aspects of personality that guide cognition, motivation, and behavior in interpersonal relationships.     

Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce?

Although divorce typically follows an extended period of unhappiness that begins early in marriage, some couples who are very happy throughout the first several years of marriage will also go on to divorce. This study aimed to identify risk factors early in marriage that distinguish initially satisfied couples who eventually divorce from those who remain married. We identified 136 couples reporting stably high levels of relationship satisfaction in the first 4 years of marriage. We compared the couples who went on to divorce by the 10-year follow-up with the couples who remained married on initial measures of commitment, observed communication, stress, and personality. Divorcing couples displayed more negative communication, emotion, and social support as newlyweds compared with couples who did not divorce. No significant differences were found in the other domains, in relationship satisfaction, or in positive behaviors. Overall, results indicate that even couples who are very successful at navigating the early years of marriage can be vulnerable to later dissolution if their interpersonal exchanges are poorly regulated. We speculate that, paradoxically, the many strengths possessed by these couples may mask their potent interpersonal liabilities, posing challenges for educational interventions designed to help these couples.     

Media’s Influence on Self-Image and Romantic Relationship Decision-Making in College-Age Clients: What Mental Health Counselors Should Know

Research indicates that media-influenced decisions potentially assist in leading college-aged students to make negative interpersonal choices, resulting in poor intimate relationships (Storey and McDonald, 2013). However, many mental health counselors inadvertently ignore the effect of media when they work with college-aged clients. To speak to the need for mental health counselors to become aware of the issue, this study examined the phenomenological perspective of eight students. This qualitative study’s results indicate that media portrayal of successful couples and unrealistic expectations affect intimate relationship decision-making.